Re: Bubbles, related questions.

[Guest guest]

My mother used to complain all the time about not being able to see what was going on outside. That never bothered me since whatever was going on outside likely would not have any effect on me unless it tried to get into the house, and since the house is well secured, that was not much of an issue. It also became a nonissue once I got some security cameras and put them up around the house. Now I can see everything that is going on around the house without looking out the windows or even getting up from the computer.

The one we do have trouble with is noise. I too have the TV volume fairly low most of the time. The volume only goes up if it is a quiet program. In fact, much of the time I have the TV muted, especially during commercials. My mother also complains that she never knows when I am awake or asleep since I am so quiet. Our sleep schedules are different and she can never tell from upstairs if I am awake or not. Also, I sometimes will get after her for coming downstairs and being loud, like when cooking in the kitchen, or when she gets home from work. She just doesn't understand that many noises are as much an intrusion as a physical poke or slap on the head.

For the most part I don't bother to listen to criticism. All that does is lead to an argument and it always goes the same route. She still fusses, but not as badly as she used to. I guess she knows that she isn't going to get anywhere.

There is some resentment in that she won't understand about AS. I have told her a lot about it and given her some of my books to read, which she never has. Her thing is is that I must have a very mild case since I don't look affected. Then again I think she measures me against the retarded guy up the street, but AS is completely different. She does not seem to want to make any effort to bend a little since it would personally inconvinience her. She is like that unfortunately: very NT and thinks mostly about herself. There are a lot of things I don't do when she is around, like playing music loud and I keep the stimming and mild tourette's like outbursts under control when she is home. But asking her to hold the noise down in the kitchen when I am trying to sleep she says thing like "get with reality, or, its time for you to get up anyway." Of course, that does not take into account that the whole time she was asleep I was awake and was just going to bed when she was getting up.

That's the basics of it. I've been meaing to put up a post on bullying as well, but things have gotten rather busy for the last week or so.

[Guest guest]

I can understand what you are saying. This house is an older one as well with a lot of little rooms and the walls are fairly thick. Still, there are times that noise carries very well and I can hear mom's TV or whatever. It is not as bad since I had a cable line run up to her bedroom though. It used to be that when she was watching TV in the den and my room wason the other side of the house in the basement, I could hear her TV loud and clear through the floor.

My design of a house would be much like a ship. The noisy parts of the house (kitchen, living room, den and dining room) would all be in one area or end of the house. The bedrooms would then be on the other end of the house. I would probably also include a master suite which would be slightly separated from the rest and well soundproofed. Still, I would probably have a CCTV system with intercoms so the main parts of the house could be observed along with the outside.

[Guest guest]

, your life sounds just like mine, particularly as it

pertains to noise.

I live in an old house, and the walls are thick. My room is on the

second floor, which ought to be equally advantageous in terms of

screening out what's going on below, but it isn't.

My mom and dad can be in the same room but can't hear each other

even if they are sitting right next to each other even though I can

hear them in my room with the door shut. So they raise their voices

to one another and then it's like they are screaming in my ear.

Other times, dad will be downstairs in the den watching TV with the

door shut and my mom will be in the living room watching a different

show. I will be in my room with the door shut and hear both

programs loud and clear.

I have ear protectors that professionals wear when they operate

heavy machinery. If I put them on, it drowns out most of the noise,

but if there is a car crash on TV, or if my parents raise their

voices to each other, I can still hear it.

When you say that noises are an intrusion, they really are for me

too. They are like a jolt to my system.

I also hate my mom's irritation at wanting her to be more quiet. I

don't understand why it's such a chore to keep from making noise.

It's an EFFORT for me to make noise.

Okay. I guess perhaps I've been grumbling a bit too much lately.

Tom

[Guest guest]

I have been accused of trying to be different. I have been told I

should make more effort. Many people cannot understand why I do not

like going out to crowded noisy places, the way they view it is that

I should make more effort. When I distance myself to avoid stress, or

space out, because I am overloading I am considered rude, or people

think they may have offended me (mentioned in a previous post), or

some other misinterpretation.

Kind Regards,

>

> I have another couple of questions that are related to this:

>

> 1) What sort of persecution do you get for setting things up this

> way?

>

> People complain that they can never reach me on the phone when I am

> home alone, or wonder what I am doing behind the closed curtains.

or

> wonder why it is I have to have the lights so low or the

> television's volume down to barely audible (to them) levels.

>

> 2) Do you just laugh it off?

>

> 3) Do you feel a twinge of resentment that they can't understand

> that you need things your way.

>

> Personally, I feel the resentment.

>

>

> said:

>

> About the house. I keep the blinds drawn as well and have a room to

> myself. I too like to keep the noise to a minimum and like it that

> way. As for the phone, I usually answer that when it rings. It

makes

> a good reaction drill since you never know when it is going to

ring.

> If I'm sitting at the computer which the phone is beside, I try to

> grab it before the first ring finishes and the caller ID light

> blinks on. Usually I can. If I'm elsewhere the goal is before the

> second ring, and usually I can unless I am tangled in a blanket,

> have to put a bookmark in a book or am a long way from the phone.

>

> If I could build another house, I would either have several rooms

> underground, or have a room or two built with either no windows or

> windows with internal shutters I could close over them. If my

> basement wasn't so humid and moldy, I would build a small

> soundproofed room with a light good chair and maybe a cot. I would

> go to it whenever I needed some real quiet, to read or sometimes to

> sleep. Still though, the preference would be for an underground

room

> or two. I wanted to put in a storm cellar that would have fit the

> bill, put it under the porch, but my mother nixed that idea. After

> she had it glasses in and enclosed, we had Hurricane Isaabell pass

> over and do a lot of damage. This last year we had several come

over

> us and I was really wishing we had one. As it is, I would probably

> have to get one of these ready made things and put it in the back

> yard. It would not be nearly as nice as the other design that I

> wanted, but it would cost far too much to put that in now.

>

> Oh well.

>

>