Re: The Holiday Season Approcahes

[Guest guest]

I hate the fact that shops are so packed, I cannot stand crowded

places, so I try to do my Christmas shopping as early as possible.

Some people comment 'aren't I good' - no I just can't stand crowds.

I do love fairy lights though and baubles and fibre optics and

tinsel, shiny glittery things, so from that point of view I'm in

heaven.

Cooking is not my strong point and cooking a traditional Christmas

meal is not likely. I'm wondering if I can get away with Christmas

pizza :-)

Kind Regards,

>

> How do any of you feel about the Holidays?

>

> I used to like them when I was little because of course: Presents.

>

> But now I have everything I want (which is mostly books) and so

> there is no magic in it for me anymore.

>

> I especially hate family get-togethers and feel very relieved when

> the are overwith. I find that family gatherings can be literally

> dizzying. There are so many conversations going on at once and

> people are flitting around from conversation to conversation

talking

> about things which I generally find disinteresting. I understand

the

> purpose is to meet up with folks you haven't see all year and renew

> old ties. But from my point of view, talking to someone for five

> minutes a year does not an interesting tie make.

>

> I usually spend most of my time nibbling on food and then sneaking

> off to be by myself if that is at all possible.

>

> This year, we will have a relative coming to stay with us for

> Christmas, and I can tell you right now that I am dreading this

> intrusion so much that I am actually thinking of going away for the

> holidays.

>

> How is it with the rest of you?

[Guest guest]

Hey

I also hate Christmas shopping and last year tried something new; I

bought EVERYTHING online! Most Supermarkets now do ready prepared

Roast Potatoes, you just lift the lid and put them in the oven, in

fact Sainsbury's in particular do an excellent range or ready

prepared foods that you just follow the instructions and put them in

the oven; again you can order all of these online so don't even have

to battle with Christmas crowds.

I'm lucky, I LOVE cooking and have just finished making Christmas

Puddings; in addition to the traditional puds, I've made Cherry with

Cherry and Apricot Almond with Apricot . They last for

the following year if packaged correctly so I make a whole batch and

give them out as small gifts to the family so that everyone has

their Christmas Puddings for the next Christmas - well matured and

yummy. Cooking is probably the thing I excell at most but I prefer

to make sweet things as you can be as artistic as you like with them.

Have a look at shopping online, you can save money and not have to

fight the crowds.

Debs

> >

> > How do any of you feel about the Holidays?

> >

> > I used to like them when I was little because of course:

Presents.

> >

> > But now I have everything I want (which is mostly books) and so

> > there is no magic in it for me anymore.

> >

> > I especially hate family get-togethers and feel very relieved

when

> > the are overwith. I find that family gatherings can be literally

> > dizzying. There are so many conversations going on at once and

> > people are flitting around from conversation to conversation

> talking

> > about things which I generally find disinteresting. I understand

> the

> > purpose is to meet up with folks you haven't see all year and

renew

> > old ties. But from my point of view, talking to someone for

five

> > minutes a year does not an interesting tie make.

> >

> > I usually spend most of my time nibbling on food and then

sneaking

> > off to be by myself if that is at all possible.

> >

> > This year, we will have a relative coming to stay with us for

> > Christmas, and I can tell you right now that I am dreading this

> > intrusion so much that I am actually thinking of going away for

the

> > holidays.

> >

> > How is it with the rest of you?

[Guest guest]

I want to preface this with a reminder that I am not convinced that I am

Aspergian, so in

reading my response, take this as one person's thoughts on the topic, not

necessarily as

one Aspergian's thoughts on the topic.

The holidays - or I would prefer to say Christmastime, because the relevant

period is not

all holidays, and Christmas is the significant holiday to me - are still

important to me.

The presents part things is not as significant to me as it was when I was a

child, but as I've

grown older I've realised how much of the pleasure of presents is not from

receiving them

(though I still like it when I get a good present). One of the best part about

presents at

Christmastime is giving people presents that are just right for them, and seeing

them

excited about it. Of course, that's hard to do, because you have to be aware

enough about

what the person wants and likes to be able to give them a present they really

appreciate.

So it usually only works with people I know really well, like my family and my

best friends.

One of the things I like about Christmas-time is the rich Christmas traditions

my family

has. My immediate family has developed some very complex traditions for

Christmas-

time (spanning over a month from the beginning of Advent 4 weeks before

Christmas, till

Epiphany on January 6), and I miss being able to participate fully in them now

that I live

away from my family.

One of the things I look forward to about Christmas is being together with my

immediate

family again. We are a very close family. I also look forward to being back in

the city

where most of my friends are, and being able to visit them in person again.

I don't really care for family gatherings. Especially on one side of the

family, no one talks

about anything of substance, and I'm usually totally bored. They play games,

but I'm a

picky game-player, so I often don't like the games they play. On the other side

of the

family, things are a bit better - ususally there's at least some substantial

conversation,

although it's often carried on in a more argumentative tone than I like - but

still with good

will, not in anger or hatred. So those gatherings are okay, though not great.

I didn't mind family gatherings as a child - I just played the usual kids'

imagination games

and so on with my cousins and siblings, and we had fun. As an older kid and

teenager, I

started to get bored as my interests drifted away from my cousins' interests,

but I would

often just read a book for part of the time, and then I was happy, though I

occasionally got

told by my mom that I shouldn't be so antisocial and read my book all the time.

But I think I feel like reading a book was more allowable then than it is now,

because then,

I had to go to family gatherings because I had to go with my parents, while now,

going to

a family gathering is my choice (perhaps an expected choice, but a choice none

the less),

so it's not quite as acceptable to go and then spend a lot of the time just

reading.

-Estel

Tom wrote:

>

> How do any of you feel about the Holidays?

>

> I used to like them when I was little because of course: Presents.

>

> But now I have everything I want (which is mostly books) and so

> there is no magic in it for me anymore.

>

> I especially hate family get-togethers and feel very relieved when

> the are overwith. I find that family gatherings can be literally

> dizzying. There are so many conversations going on at once and

> people are flitting around from conversation to conversation talking

> about things which I generally find disinteresting. I understand the

> purpose is to meet up with folks you haven't see all year and renew

> old ties. But from my point of view, talking to someone for five

> minutes a year does not an interesting tie make.

>

> I usually spend most of my time nibbling on food and then sneaking

> off to be by myself if that is at all possible.

>

> This year, we will have a relative coming to stay with us for

> Christmas, and I can tell you right now that I am dreading this

> intrusion so much that I am actually thinking of going away for the

> holidays.

>

> How is it with the rest of you?

[Guest guest]

If I had get rid of every holiday time but one, I would choose the

winter time holidays. Formerly I love because of, yes, the presents.

But now it's not the substance of the presents, but the giving of the

presents themselves. I speaks of love, peace, and harmony, and the

willingness to share resources in this limited albeit wonderful world

of ours. However, most of all I love the carols. I sing them year

round because they bring me comfort and joy (pun intended). That and

there is such a magic to lighting fires and sitting in front of them

or with your back to them until your as toasty as a marshmallow. I

practice Yuletide mixed with Christmas tradition: I find Yuletide to

be more filling that Christmas by itself, but I love many of the

practices of Christmas like mass and caroling. Amen to the One On

High, Justeneh. Forever within me and contained with-out.

>

> How do any of you feel about the Holidays?

>

> I used to like them when I was little because of course: Presents.

>

> But now I have everything I want (which is mostly books) and so

> there is no magic in it for me anymore.

>

> I especially hate family get-togethers and feel very relieved when

> the are overwith. I find that family gatherings can be literally

> dizzying. There are so many conversations going on at once and

> people are flitting around from conversation to conversation

talking

> about things which I generally find disinteresting. I understand

the

> purpose is to meet up with folks you haven't see all year and renew

> old ties. But from my point of view, talking to someone for five

> minutes a year does not an interesting tie make.

>

> I usually spend most of my time nibbling on food and then sneaking

> off to be by myself if that is at all possible.

>

> This year, we will have a relative coming to stay with us for

> Christmas, and I can tell you right now that I am dreading this

> intrusion so much that I am actually thinking of going away for the

> holidays.

>

> How is it with the rest of you?

[Guest guest]

Hello blackinnocencegalaxy, and welcome to the group. Nice to see you

posting, and we are pleased to have you.

Tom

[Guest guest]

blackinnocencegalaxy

> If I had get rid of every holiday time but one, I would choose the

winter time holidays. Formerly I love because of, yes, the presents.

But now it's not the substance of the presents, but the giving of the

presents themselves. I speaks of love, peace, and harmony, and the

willingness to share resources in this limited albeit wonderful world

of ours. However, most of all I love the carols. I sing them year

round because they bring me comfort and joy (pun intended). That and

there is such a magic to lighting fires and sitting in front of them

or with your back to them until your as toasty as a marshmallow. I

practice Yuletide mixed with Christmas tradition: I find Yuletide to

be more filling that Christmas by itself, but I love many of the

practices of Christmas like mass and caroling. Amen to the One On

High, Justeneh. Forever within me and contained with-out.

I like Christmas for the beautiful incandescent lighting everywhere. Here in

dark and cold Sweden many people decorate the trees in their gardens as well

as having a Christmas tree indoors. I like the nice vibes in the air and the

snow that we usually have here. But I don't like presents (since I only have

all I need and get stressed by having things I don't need) and I don't like

the traditional food. Sometimes I go to my relatives for Christmas dinner,

but only to make them happy. I prefer to stay at home and just watch TV

(which is usually good only at this time of the year).

All other holidays I am totally fed up with and refuse to even acknowledge

anymore. I find them outdated and illogical and just can't see the point.

Inger

[Guest guest]

To me the holidays are just another day. Most of them are just days people make a big fuss over because the retailers have conditioned them to do so. The media has also managed to drain the real religous meaning out of some of them or distort the historical reasons for the others.

The point being I don't really see the point of getting so excited about the holidays and haven't really since I was a young child.

[Guest guest]

`

Tom wrote:

How do any of you feel about the Holidays? ...[snip]... How is it with

the rest of you?

_____

Hi Tom and everyone,

As many here have said, I also liked Christmas as a child (the

presents!). Although even then, it was a very stressful time for me. I

tend to break out in cold sores when I'm stressed-- and all the old

holiday photos of me as a child show me with my mouth just *covered*

with cold sores!

As an adult, I absolutely HATE all holidays. I have read a few of the

other posts that describe enjoying the " ambience " of Christmastime...

and maybe I could do that too, if it wasn't for the fact that, as mother

of the household, it's MY job to create that ambience! I'm just not up

to that.

I don't like the feasting because I want to watch my weight. I don't

like visiting extended family-- and frankly, it's even stressful to me

when my older children come home for a visit. I don't like the " clutter "

of Christmas: the decorations, lights, advertising, repetitive theme

music, etc. And I especially don't like feeling manipulated into showing

love and emotion " on cue " (which I feel happens on every holiday). What

a Scrooge I am! LOL!

In *our* family we don't have Christmas! We don't celebrate other

holidays either. We don't even celebrate each others' birthdays. But we

do something even better.... we celebrate " UN-birthdays " and " merry

UN-Christmases " all year round!

Since I detest " posing " or doing anything " on cue " , we dispensed with

scheduled holidays long ago. Now we get each other just the PERFECT

gifts at just the PERFECT times-- when WE FEEL LIKE DOING IT. My husband

and I will bring a gift home for one of the kids on a day when they

least expect it. We'll come into the house, singing our UN-birthday song

(or our merry UN-Christmas song)... and then everyone comes running- not

knowing who's the lucky one *this* time to get the gift. (And it works

out that getting one's share of gifts all evens out over time.)

My kids have come to love this approach! When friends at school pity our

kids for not having any Christmas - our kids pity *them* because our

kids like our 'tradition' better.

We do, sometimes, have an intimate little get-together (with just us and

our kids) on occasional major holidays.... but that's only if and when

one of the kids wants to plan and execute it. I'll go along with it and

provide the house as a meeting place, if *THEY* want to plan it. It all

works out pretty well.

Thanks for the discussion!

--Scrooge (aka " " )