Guest guest Posted July 16, 2008 Report Share Posted July 16, 2008 Hi, Diane. I totally relate to your promise to not take him to the hospital. I'm on the handicap bus and were driving right past the old University of Colorado medical center. How ironic. Well, one thing I can suggest is that if he is bleeding from hemroids, he might also be leaking inside and this would cause an increase in the plasma ammonia level. In the hospice, Ardis was kept on lactulose because it was deemed a quality of life issue. It helped just a smidge, because she was able to acknolege my presence, and the morning before she went home to Jesus, she awoke to find me weeping and holding her hand, and she whispered " don't worry, it'll be ok soon " . Sharon had let me stay with her that night, and I held her hand all night in the recliner next to the bed. In the last weeks she had slept most of the time. Lactulose was the only thing that gave me back snippets of my best friend, but most of the time she thought she was in Hawaii. If you promised him no hospital, what about hospice? They are all about comfort, and can help you with all of this. I would call one today. Besides, dying from liver disease can be a messy affair, and you are probably not at all equiped to deal with it. I thank the lord that we were able to get her admitted to a beautiful hospice, and they took care of all of her needs Love Bobby Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile Re: Life Expectancy Hi Bobby, Thank you for your reply. I cannot tell you how much I admire you and your wife for what you did for your friend. Knowing the roller coaster ride this is, it is an extreme sacrifice to take on the responsibility as cargiver for a friend who is dying. Although I didn't know Ardis, I can imagine her pride and joy in knowing that she so positively influenced your life. I haven't had the chance yet to check out the sites you referenced, but I plan to spend this evening doing that. Last October, my husband's doctor told us that he had probably 6 months to live. As I've stated in an earlier post, he has now gone 3 months past that. He has been asleep more than awake since last Friday and is very confused during the brief periods when he is awake. To this point, he has not had jaundice, but I believe he is now beginning to have a mild case. Is this something I need to report to his doctor? Also, I've noticed over the last couple of days that his hemmoroids are bleeding more and more. I'm at the point now where I'm not sure if I need to call the doctor or not because I promised my husband I wouldn't take him back to the hospital. I guess I'm afraid that the doctor will tell me not to call him again if I'm not going to bring my husband in. Anyway, thank you again for responding. It helps so much to know there is someone out there I can talk to that really understands what we're going through. God bless. Diane C. from TN > > I welcome you to the groujp, Diane. I am Bobby, one of the three moderators of this group. You aren't offending anyone, and I believe this is the BEST support group out there. I have belonged to another and it sucked. You were only allowed to cheer cheer cheer about your wonderful doctor. > I was the primary care giver to a woman whom was my best friend in the whole world, (besides my wife). I met Ardis at work in 1997. She was my helper, and then became my teacher. She died of liver and kidney failure as a result of end stage liver disease due to alcoholism on August 3 ,2006. The last 6 months of her life were the hardest, but also the most wonderful. She had terrible encephalopathy, and was totally dependent on me and Sharon, my wife, but she was very grateful, and had no other family, we were it. Her death led me to a different road. I quit drinking shortly after her death, and have been sober since. I have end stage liver disease from alcoholism, and I dedicate my sobriety to ARDIS. When I go to AA I speak of her and her struggle, and I feel her beaming with pride, and cant wait to ask her how she felt with me sharing her story with so many people around the world. My blog is getting an average of > 35 visitors a day, every day for the last 7 months, from people all over the entire world. Her story is there. here is a link to her story and my blog. > http://robertwalkingeagle.googlepages.com/home > > this is my blog, my way of dealing with my liver disease > http://billybobswildride.blogspot.com/ > I read your first post and cried. I cannot imagine how you and my wife Sharon cope with this. The doctors and literature give me a long time before I am expected to die,(2 to 4 years) but she knows how this disease is, and it can change on a dime, and she lives with the dread. I just know that the time I had with Ardis was precious, and everything took a backseat, including my homelife and job and family because I kept telling myself, " she wont be here very long " and she wasn't. Treasure every moment. God bless you, Diane. I am always available on yahoo instant messenger, my username is " robwalkingeagle " . Love, Bobby > > > > RE: Life Expectancy > > > Hi. Since I am a new member, I'm not too familiar with everyone here > or your stories. I've tried to look at the photo albums and have read > several of the older posts, but it's still a bit of a blur to me. > > I was wondering if anyone here was a caregiver for a loved one who has > succumbed to the liver disease? I feel as though my husband is nearing > death and I would like to know what your experiences were? What are > some things I need to be looking for with regards to signs that he is > nearing death? > > In reviewing the posts, I know that most of you are either disease > sufferers or caregivers who are fighting your disease and planning to > get transplants. If I'm in the wrong forum to be asking these > questions about dying, please just let me know and I'll look for > somewhere else to try to find information. I don't mean to offend > anyone. > > Diane C. from TN > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 16, 2008 Report Share Posted July 16, 2008 Hi, Judy. I can say that I truly know what you mean. I was raised in a fairly religious setting, but never had a really " white light " experience until now. When Ardis died, I was holding her hand and telling her over and over " you're so beautiful " until I realized that a higher power than me was present, and her face GLOWED and she looked like a 20 year old, and I shut my mouth because then I felt that I was interfering with a very very holy moment in the woman's life, and could almost imagine her kick my shin and hiss " shut up, It's GOD! " . So for the last seconds I just stood there and held her hand and kissed her knuckles, and the hospice nurse peeked in and I waved her away, and she scooted out double quick. I swear it was just like a birth but in reverse. I was so much in shock over the look of amazement on her face, I didn't even feel sad. Not until Sharon and I stood in the parking lot, exhausted and spent, did it hit me. I held it together until I got home, but when I woke up in the morning, I shaved my head nearly bald in the traditional Indian way, and started bawling, and never stopped for 44 days. Then I was admitted to the ER for detox. Thanks for sharing , Judy. I'll look forward to meeting you. Love, Bobby RE: Life Expectancy > > > > > > > > > Hi. Since I am a new member, I'm not too familiar with everyone > > here > > > or your stories. I've tried to look at the photo albums and have > > read > > > several of the older posts, but it's still a bit of a blur to me. > > > > > > I was wondering if anyone here was a caregiver for a loved one > who > > has > > > succumbed to the liver disease? I feel as though my husband is > > nearing > > > death and I would like to know what your experiences were? What > > are > > > some things I need to be looking for with regards to signs that > he > > is > > > nearing death? > > > > > > In reviewing the posts, I know that most of you are either > disease > > > sufferers or caregivers who are fighting your disease and > planning > > to > > > get transplants. If I'm in the wrong forum to be asking these > > > questions about dying, please just let me know and I'll look for > > > somewhere else to try to find information. I don't mean to offend > > > anyone. > > > > > > Diane C. from TN > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 16, 2008 Report Share Posted July 16, 2008 I've attached it here... let me know if you don't see this... > > Hi Judy, > > Thank you for your words of encouragement and hope. I would like to > read your Dad's story. Where can I find it? Is it here in this > group's files? I have long been a Chrisitan, but there is no doubt > that being with a loved one who is suffering and through dying brings > you closer to your loved one and to your Lord. At least that has > been true for me and for my husband. The knowledge of his terminal > illness has only served to make him appreciate life more and to > appreciate his relationship with his Lord more. Again, please let me > know where I can find your Dad's story. God bless! > > Diane C. from TN > > > > > > > > > > > > I welcome you to the groujp, Diane. I am Bobby, one of the > three > > > > moderators of this group. You aren't offending anyone, and I > > > believe > > > > this is the BEST support group out there. I have belonged to > > > another > > > > and it sucked. You were only allowed to cheer cheer cheer about > > > your > > > > wonderful doctor. > > > > > I was the primary care giver to a woman whom was my best > friend > > > in > > > > the whole world, (besides my wife). I met Ardis at work in 1997. > > > She > > > > was my helper, and then became my teacher. She died of liver and > > > > kidney failure as a result of end stage liver disease due to > > > > alcoholism on August 3 ,2006. The last 6 months of her life were > > > the > > > > hardest, but also the most wonderful. She had terrible > > > > encephalopathy, and was totally dependent on me and Sharon, my > > > wife, > > > > but she was very grateful, and had no other family, we were it. > Her > > > > death led me to a different road. I quit drinking shortly after > her > > > > death, and have been sober since. I have end stage liver disease > > > > from alcoholism, and I dedicate my sobriety to ARDIS. When I go > to > > > > AA I speak of her and her struggle, and I feel her beaming with > > > > pride, and cant wait to ask her how she felt with me sharing her > > > > story with so many people around the world. My blog is getting > an > > > > average of > > > > > 35 visitors a day, every day for the last 7 months, from > people > > > all > > > > over the entire world. Her story is there. here is a link to her > > > > story and my blog. > > > > > http://robertwalkin geagle.googlepag es.com/home > > > > > > > > > > this is my blog, my way of dealing with my liver disease > > > > > http://billybobswil dride.blogspot. com/ > > > > > I read your first post and cried. I cannot imagine how you > and my > > > > wife Sharon cope with this. The doctors and literature give me a > > > long > > > > time before I am expected to die,(2 to 4 years) but she knows > how > > > > this disease is, and it can change on a dime, and she lives with > > > the > > > > dread. I just know that the time I had with Ardis was precious, > and > > > > everything took a backseat, including my homelife and job and > > > family > > > > because I kept telling myself, " she wont be here very long " and > she > > > > wasn't. Treasure every moment. God bless you, Diane. I am always > > > > available on yahoo instant messenger, my username > > > > is " robwalkingeagle " . Love, Bobby > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > RE: Life Expectancy > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi. Since I am a new member, I'm not too familiar with > everyone > > > > here > > > > > or your stories. I've tried to look at the photo albums and > have > > > > read > > > > > several of the older posts, but it's still a bit of a blur to > me. > > > > > > > > > > I was wondering if anyone here was a caregiver for a loved one > > > who > > > > has > > > > > succumbed to the liver disease? I feel as though my husband is > > > > nearing > > > > > death and I would like to know what your experiences were? > What > > > > are > > > > > some things I need to be looking for with regards to signs > that > > > he > > > > is > > > > > nearing death? > > > > > > > > > > In reviewing the posts, I know that most of you are either > > > disease > > > > > sufferers or caregivers who are fighting your disease and > > > planning > > > > to > > > > > get transplants. If I'm in the wrong forum to be asking these > > > > > questions about dying, please just let me know and I'll look > for > > > > > somewhere else to try to find information. I don't mean to > offend > > > > > anyone. > > > > > > > > > > Diane C. from TN > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 16, 2008 Report Share Posted July 16, 2008 No, I'm, sorry, but this forum wont let you attach things. You can upload it to the files section if you like, or do what I do, create a google page and then link that page. RE: Life Expectancy > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi. Since I am a new member, I'm not too familiar with > everyone > > > > here > > > > > or your stories. I've tried to look at the photo albums and > have > > > > read > > > > > several of the older posts, but it's still a bit of a blur to > me. > > > > > > > > > > I was wondering if anyone here was a caregiver for a loved one > > > who > > > > has > > > > > succumbed to the liver disease? I feel as though my husband is > > > > nearing > > > > > death and I would like to know what your experiences were? > What > > > > are > > > > > some things I need to be looking for with regards to signs > that > > > he > > > > is > > > > > nearing death? > > > > > > > > > > In reviewing the posts, I know that most of you are either > > > disease > > > > > sufferers or caregivers who are fighting your disease and > > > planning > > > > to > > > > > get transplants. If I'm in the wrong forum to be asking these > > > > > questions about dying, please just let me know and I'll look > for > > > > > somewhere else to try to find information. I don't mean to > offend > > > > > anyone. > > > > > > > > > > Diane C. from TN > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 17, 2008 Report Share Posted July 17, 2008 Judy, Â My father was in a horrible auto accident in 1998. He was anything but a religious person. He would attend church about twice a year or maybe three if there was a wedding. He never believed in life after death. It was voodo hogwash to him. He was a realist, if he couldn't see it or touch it to him it didn't exist. He had no problem with religion it just wasn't his bag of rocks. Although he is a very kind and gentle man. Organized religion he could take or leave. Â Anyway, after the accident he was put on life support for 11 weeks. One afternoon the nurses were putting him in the CT scan machine his heart stopped for a few minutes. After compression and paddles they revived him. To this day he swears he went somewhere. He can even recall details about what happened that Dr.s say there is no possibility whatsoever he should remember. He speaks of silence beyond imagination, a huge bright light, a feeling of painless comfort, and a feeling of well being. Â He is a different man today. He is doing fine today. He spends almost all of his time helping the poor, working at food banks, and literally has callouses on his knees from praying for the less fortunate. Â Just thought I might share that with you. Â CLE > > Hi Jill, > > Thank you so much for sharing the story of your Mother's homegoing. > I can empathize with you on some levels. My mother died on Apr 20, > 2006 of renal failure. The process with liver disease and kidney > disease is very similar. I have noticed that my husband is having > many of the same symptoms as did my Mom. > > I know the pain of having to make the decision to stop all forms of > intervention. Although Momma never had to be on the ventilator, she > was having dialysis on a daily basis during the last week of her life > in the hospital. It finally became evident that she could not last > for much longer and we asked the doctor's to stop and let her go. We > told them to discontinue all intervention around 11 on the morning of > Apr 18, 2006. I called my sisters and my Dad and other family > members and told them what had happened and told them the doctors had > said we should say our goodbyes; she could last a week or so or it > could be within hours. > > My sisters and my Dad came to the hospital on the evening and we all > said our goodbyes to Momma. Since I had been at the hospital for 4 > days, we decided that one of my sisters would stay on that Tuesday > night and the other sister would relieve her on Tuesday afternoon. > Family members continued to visit throughout the day on Tuesday and > into the evening on Tuesday evening, the 19th. > > Finally, around 8:30 on Tuesday evening, everyone had gone home > except my sister. I spoke to her around 10 p.m. and she said Momma > was about the same. The next I heard from her was around 2 a.m. when > she called to say they had told her to call us back to the hospital. > I went to my parent's home to get my Dad and head to the hospital. > About 2:20 that Wednesday morning, Apr 20, 2006, my sister called > back to say Momma was gone. She simply closed her eyes and went home > to be with the Lord. > > Up till that point, it was the hardest thing I had ever done in my > life. Then, in July of that same year, my husband was diagnosed with > cirrhosis of the liver and from there, we are here. Although I try > not to compare Momma's illness to my husband's, there are times when > I just cannot help myself. I see him going through something and I > think " That's how it was with Momma X number of days, weeks or months > before she died. " I know I shouldn't do it, but I find myself doing > it all the time. > > I am so sorry for what you have had to go through. I appreciate so > much that you are willing to be here and share with those of us who > are now walking that path. Thank you for sharing with me and for > caring. God bless you always. > > Diane C. from TN > > > > > > > > I welcome you to the groujp, Diane. I am Bobby, one of the three > > moderators of this group. You aren't offending anyone, and I > believe > > this is the BEST support group out there. I have belonged to > another > > and it sucked. You were only allowed to cheer cheer cheer about > your > > wonderful doctor. > > > I was the primary care giver to a woman whom was my best friend > in > > the whole world, (besides my wife). I met Ardis at work in 1997. > She > > was my helper, and then became my teacher. She died of liver and > > kidney failure as a result of end stage liver disease due to > > alcoholism on August 3 ,2006. The last 6 months of her life were > the > > hardest, but also the most wonderful. She had terrible > > encephalopathy, and was totally dependent on me and Sharon, my > wife, > > but she was very grateful, and had no other family, we were it. Her > > death led me to a different road. I quit drinking shortly after her > > death, and have been sober since. I have end stage liver disease > > from alcoholism, and I dedicate my sobriety to ARDIS. When I go to > > AA I speak of her and her struggle, and I feel her beaming with > > pride, and cant wait to ask her how she felt with me sharing her > > story with so many people around the world. My blog is getting an > > average of > > > 35 visitors a day, every day for the last 7 months, from people > all > > over the entire world. Her story is there. here is a link to her > > story and my blog. > > > http://robertwalkin geagle.googlepag es.com/home > > > > > > this is my blog, my way of dealing with my liver disease > > > http://billybobswil dride.blogspot. com/ > > > I read your first post and cried. I cannot imagine how you and my > > wife Sharon cope with this. The doctors and literature give me a > long > > time before I am expected to die,(2 to 4 years) but she knows how > > this disease is, and it can change on a dime, and she lives with > the > > dread. I just know that the time I had with Ardis was precious, and > > everything took a backseat, including my homelife and job and > family > > because I kept telling myself, " she wont be here very long " and she > > wasn't. Treasure every moment. God bless you, Diane. I am always > > available on yahoo instant messenger, my username > > is " robwalkingeagle " . Love, Bobby > > > > > > > > > > > > RE: Life Expectancy > > > > > > > > > Hi. Since I am a new member, I'm not too familiar with everyone > > here > > > or your stories. I've tried to look at the photo albums and have > > read > > > several of the older posts, but it's still a bit of a blur to me. > > > > > > I was wondering if anyone here was a caregiver for a loved one > who > > has > > > succumbed to the liver disease? I feel as though my husband is > > nearing > > > death and I would like to know what your experiences were? What > > are > > > some things I need to be looking for with regards to signs that > he > > is > > > nearing death? > > > > > > In reviewing the posts, I know that most of you are either > disease > > > sufferers or caregivers who are fighting your disease and > planning > > to > > > get transplants. If I'm in the wrong forum to be asking these > > > questions about dying, please just let me know and I'll look for > > > somewhere else to try to find information. I don't mean to offend > > > anyone. > > > > > > Diane C. from TN > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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