Help!

[Guest guest]

I'm a 50 yr old male. I've been married 28 years. At the age of 40, I had a

prostate infection and saw a urologist. He prescribed antibiotics and that

cleared up the problem. But after that, I began to notice that my erections were

not as powerful as they'd once been, but the feelings were still there and I

could orgasm.

Until about 10 years ago, my wife was not interested in sex. I used to want it

every day and had no problem getting or maintaining an erection. And definitely

had no problem reaching an orgasm. However, I did get tired of practically

begging for sex with my wife, but I remained faithful to her and took care of my

needs through masturbation. In 2003, we had some marital problems and I began to

have some issues with ED. In 2004, my wife and I separated for about a month at

which time, I became extremely depressed and was put on Effexor by my medical

dr. When she came back, I had no sex drive and my penis felt numb. I couldn't

get it up for nothing, so I talked to my dr and he put me on Viagra.

After taking the Viagra, I had no problem getting an erection, but I could not,

no matter how hard I tried, reach orgasm, unless I was alone and masturbated for

what seemed like an eternity. I spoke to my dr about the problem and he said

that this was one of the side effets of the Effexor, but should correct itself

once I reached the target dosage. But after reaching the targeted dosage,

nothing changed, so I took myself off of the Effexor. I didn't need it for

depression anymore at that time and figured if I got off the med, my sex drive

and ability to orgasm would return. But it didn't. My penis still became numb

feeling after being erect for a few minutes. It was as if someone flipped a

switch and all feeling stopped. It would stay hard due to the Viagra, but would

do nothing else.

I spoke to my dr about his and put me on Cardura. That helped some with the lack

of sensation, but not enough. Before the Cardura, there was a little feeling

left in my penis around the head. After taking the Cardura for a week or so,

there was some feeling just below the head on the top and underside...but

nowhere close to how it was before the Effexor. Used to, my whole shaft was

sensitive. Now, 99% of the shaft is numb. In addition to prescribing Cardura, my

dr. checked my testosterone level and told me that it was low. I took shots of

testosterone monthly. That restored some of my energy and libido, but did

nothing to help with the lack of sensation in my penis.

This problem has been ongoing since I started and stopped the Effexor in

2004...8 years! I have seen two urologists. The first was surprised and said

that I was the first patient he had seen that suffered from what he called

" anorgasmia " . He had no answers. Last summer, I began seeing a different

urologist. At first, the visits seemed promising. He, of course, checked my

prostate and said it felt normal. He checked my testosterone level and said it

was low and put me back on shots, increasing my dosage so that I had to take two

shots per month. If my memory is correct, I was taking around 400 mgs per month.

Once again, that restored the sex drive, but did nothing to increase sensation

and I still needed ED meds to get an erection. Still, no orgasm through vaginal

sex. I had to masturbate to get relief and the weird thing about it is, in the

last 5 years or so, Ive had to be sitting up to reach orgasm through

masturbation. Since taking the effexor in 2004, I've reached orgasm twice with

my wife during intercourse.

I kept pressing my urologist for answers and he finally told me what I've been

reading on the internet... " I think it's in your head. When you let go and relax,

things will go back to normal. "

But I KNOW this is not in my head. I used to wake up every morning before what I

call, " the effexor days " with a raging erection. Now, I never wake with an

erection. Since taking the effexor, my penis produces an excessive amount of

precum. Before effexor, there was very little precum.

I am at my wits end. This is very frustrating. I have felt all these years that

this was not in my head, yet that's what guys like me are told either thru

research on the internet or by a doctor.

My question is, what can I do to fix this? My wife has become much more

interested in sex in the past few years and I think, " Wow, we could have the

perfect sex life now if only I could function normally again. " I don't have an

issue with using ED meds to help boost the erections, if only I could reach

orgasm like I once could before the effexor.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to what to do about this problem? Are there

any medications that can be taken to reverse the damage that I believe effexor

caused?

Thanks for your input. Sorry for the long post.