Guest guest Posted July 18, 1998 Report Share Posted July 18, 1998 Hi Barbara, Thank you for your note. My childre (all boys) are ages 19, 17, 15. They have been great up to this point. They don't feel sorry for me, in fact they treat me exactly the same as I was prior to becoming disabled, which I insist. Being teenagers they have very active social lives but they always make sure I'm okay before venturing out. I feel very blessed to have such great kids. Now my parents and siblings have responded completely opposite. They feel sorry for me, which drives me crazy. My father can't seem to get over being angry about the accident and alls he wants to talk about is my disabilities. My mom told me a year ago that seeing me makes her physically ill. I haven't heard from her since and she won't accept my calls. My siblings attitudes vary. I rarely ever see them but they call often. My biggest concern is not being a burden to my children. They are very devoted to me but I often have to remind them they have lives of their own. I am very blessed!! Pati ---Barbara wrote: > > > > Hi Pati I just read your letter and I hope they can find something to help > you where you can enjoy your children. The one blessing that I had when I > got sick was my son was grown and on his own. I was so very lucky there and > I Thank God for that. Take care Barb > > ---------- > > > > To: chronic_painonelist > > Subject: Re: Patti : Ask away > > Date: Friday, July 17, 1998 6:47 PM > > > > > > > > , No you are not prying, by me being on this list I hope to > > learn from others as well as share my experiences so that I can help > > others. First, I wasn't really aware that more then one medication > > could be in my pump. I have Baclofen in my pump now which is used to > > treat spasticity but does nothing for pain. As far as taking morphine > > orally or by patch, the side effects are often worse then my pain, > > especially the nausea, so I take medication for nausea. The morphine > > makes it so I don't care I'm in pain, in other words I'm " high " , which > > helps, but not the way I want to live my life. Since my doctor says > > there is no medication that will actually ease my pain, this is the > > path I've been forced to take. I'm still waiting on a surgery date for > > having the spinal stimulator implanted. This my doctor says is worth a > > try, since I don't want to be drugged up all the time. I have 3 > > children, haven't been able to see them play baseball, soccer, etc. > > because of the pain. My quality of life diminishes everyday due to > > pain. I'm only 40 years old and just can't believe that I'm doomed for > > a life of pain....Pati > > > > > > > > > > --- Turbin wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > Patti, > > > I'm wondering if you might not want to leave the door open about > > using > > > morphine in your pump. Since you do have significant pain, the pump > > is a way > > > to administer far less than by oral dosage with a possibility of > > more relief > > > & less side effects. Just what is your response to the oral > > morphine, if I'm > > > not prying? > > > > > Ken > > > Pati Beck wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 1998 Report Share Posted July 18, 1998 Pattti, Barbara, all, Looking back, it seems an observation Mike made about high work motivation of chronic pain victims might also have some inference to the issues of chronic pain & raising children. It seems that more often than not, while the children may be somehow affected by circumstances with the chronic pain parent, they seem to grow up well and with some understanding of the chronic pain limitations; as well as concern for others. Could this be that we are 'painfully' aware of showing them what positive attention when we can and perhaps respecting them as individuals. We have to strive so hard to be respected as individuals ourselves that I am sure we communicate this more to others. I guess its an issue of quality time & quality respect. We may actually spend more time with our families too. And if not in the best of shape, we are 'there' more too. I remember a time when my mother was confined to bed due to heart disease. She was always around & had time for me. And out of necessity she taught me how to cook & shop when I was about 7-8. For me it was no burden. Quite the opposite, I was thrilled that she taught me so much that other kids didn't know, and had so much confidence in me to permit me to do these things. Ken Pati Beck wrote: > > > Hi Barbara, Thank you for your note. My childre (all boys) are ages > 19, 17, 15. They have been great up to this point. They don't feel > sorry for me, in fact they treat me exactly the same as I was prior to > becoming disabled, which I insist. Being teenagers they have very > active social lives but they always make sure I'm okay before > venturing out. I feel very blessed to have such great kids. Now my > parents and siblings have responded completely opposite. They feel > sorry for me, which drives me crazy. My father can't seem to get over > being angry about the accident and alls he wants to talk about is my > disabilities. My mom told me a year ago that seeing me makes her > physically ill. I haven't heard from her since and she won't accept my > calls. My siblings attitudes vary. I rarely ever see them but they > call often. My biggest concern is not being a burden to my children. > They are very devoted to me but I often have to remind them they have > lives of their own. I am very blessed!! Pati > > ---Barbara wrote: > > > > > > > > Hi Pati I just read your letter and I hope they can find something > to help > > you where you can enjoy your children. The one blessing that I had > when I > > got sick was my son was grown and on his own. I was so very lucky > there and > > I Thank God for that. Take care Barb > > > > ---------- > > > > > > To: chronic_painonelist > > > Subject: Re: Patti : Ask away > > > Date: Friday, July 17, 1998 6:47 PM > > > > > > > > > > > > , No you are not prying, by me being on this list I hope to > > > learn from others as well as share my experiences so that I can help > > > others. First, I wasn't really aware that more then one medication > > > could be in my pump. I have Baclofen in my pump now which is used to > > > treat spasticity but does nothing for pain. As far as taking > morphine > > > orally or by patch, the side effects are often worse then my pain, > > > especially the nausea, so I take medication for nausea. The morphine > > > makes it so I don't care I'm in pain, in other words I'm " high " , > which > > > helps, but not the way I want to live my life. Since my doctor says > > > there is no medication that will actually ease my pain, this is the > > > path I've been forced to take. I'm still waiting on a surgery date > for > > > having the spinal stimulator implanted. This my doctor says is > worth a > > > try, since I don't want to be drugged up all the time. I have 3 > > > children, haven't been able to see them play baseball, soccer, etc. > > > because of the pain. My quality of life diminishes everyday due to > > > pain. I'm only 40 years old and just can't believe that I'm doomed > for > > > a life of pain....Pati > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- Turbin wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Patti, > > > > I'm wondering if you might not want to leave the door open > about > > > using > > > > morphine in your pump. Since you do have significant pain, the > pump > > > is a way > > > > to administer far less than by oral dosage with a possibility of > > > more relief > > > > & less side effects. Just what is your response to the oral > > > morphine, if I'm > > > > not prying? > > > > > > > > Ken > > > > Pati Beck wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 1998 Report Share Posted July 18, 1998 Ken u are so right I never though about it that way. Its just my best friend has 2 children that she is trying so hard to be the mother to them that she never had. Her mom worked out of need not want so what you said about us spending more time with them is true, I just have to get her to stop beating herself up over it. Its got to the point the only trips she takes are needless guilt trips so I have to find her a better travel agent! Barb ---------- > > To: chronic_painonelist > Subject: Re: Message to Barbara > Date: Saturday, July 18, 1998 8:34 PM > > > > Pattti, Barbara, all, > Looking back, it seems an observation Mike made about high work > motivation of chronic pain victims might also have some inference to the > issues of chronic pain & raising children. It seems that more often than > not, while the children may be somehow affected by circumstances with the > chronic pain parent, they seem to grow up well and with some understanding > of the chronic pain limitations; as well as concern for others. > Could this be that we are 'painfully' aware of showing them what > positive attention when we can and perhaps respecting them as individuals. > We have to strive so hard to be respected as individuals ourselves that I am > sure we communicate this more to others. > I guess its an issue of quality time & quality respect. We may actually > spend more time with our families too. And if not in the best of shape, we > are 'there' more too. > I remember a time when my mother was confined to bed due to heart > disease. She was always around & had time for me. And out of necessity she > taught me how to cook & shop when I was about 7-8. For me it was no burden. > Quite the opposite, I was thrilled that she taught me so much that other > kids didn't know, and had so much confidence in me to permit me to do these > things. > Ken > > > Pati Beck wrote: > > > > > > > Hi Barbara, Thank you for your note. My childre (all boys) are ages > > 19, 17, 15. They have been great up to this point. They don't feel > > sorry for me, in fact they treat me exactly the same as I was prior to > > becoming disabled, which I insist. Being teenagers they have very > > active social lives but they always make sure I'm okay before > > venturing out. I feel very blessed to have such great kids. Now my > > parents and siblings have responded completely opposite. They feel > > sorry for me, which drives me crazy. My father can't seem to get over > > being angry about the accident and alls he wants to talk about is my > > disabilities. My mom told me a year ago that seeing me makes her > > physically ill. I haven't heard from her since and she won't accept my > > calls. My siblings attitudes vary. I rarely ever see them but they > > call often. My biggest concern is not being a burden to my children. > > They are very devoted to me but I often have to remind them they have > > lives of their own. I am very blessed!! Pati > > > > ---Barbara wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi Pati I just read your letter and I hope they can find something > > to help > > > you where you can enjoy your children. The one blessing that I had > > when I > > > got sick was my son was grown and on his own. I was so very lucky > > there and > > > I Thank God for that. Take care Barb > > > > > > ---------- > > > > > > > > To: chronic_painonelist > > > > Subject: Re: Patti : Ask away > > > > Date: Friday, July 17, 1998 6:47 PM > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > , No you are not prying, by me being on this list I hope to > > > > learn from others as well as share my experiences so that I can help > > > > others. First, I wasn't really aware that more then one medication > > > > could be in my pump. I have Baclofen in my pump now which is used to > > > > treat spasticity but does nothing for pain. As far as taking > > morphine > > > > orally or by patch, the side effects are often worse then my pain, > > > > especially the nausea, so I take medication for nausea. The morphine > > > > makes it so I don't care I'm in pain, in other words I'm " high " , > > which > > > > helps, but not the way I want to live my life. Since my doctor says > > > > there is no medication that will actually ease my pain, this is the > > > > path I've been forced to take. I'm still waiting on a surgery date > > for > > > > having the spinal stimulator implanted. This my doctor says is > > worth a > > > > try, since I don't want to be drugged up all the time. I have 3 > > > > children, haven't been able to see them play baseball, soccer, etc. > > > > because of the pain. My quality of life diminishes everyday due to > > > > pain. I'm only 40 years old and just can't believe that I'm doomed > > for > > > > a life of pain....Pati > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- Turbin wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Patti, > > > > > I'm wondering if you might not want to leave the door open > > about > > > > using > > > > > morphine in your pump. Since you do have significant pain, the > > pump > > > > is a way > > > > > to administer far less than by oral dosage with a possibility of > > > > more relief > > > > > & less side effects. Just what is your response to the oral > > > > morphine, if I'm > > > > > not prying? > > > > > > > > > > > Ken > > > > > Pati Beck wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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