Aging Well (2/2)

[Guest guest]

Yes, but the responsibility for aging well rests squarely upon

the individual. Seneca provides a general outline for a balanced

life: though a man may seemingly lead a life of " insulated " leisure,

it still is his duty " to be of service to individuals and to mankind

by his intelligence, his voice, his counsel. "

[ibid, p. 83.]

For those embarking on such a noble course, Seneca stresses

that " our first duty will be to examine ourselves, next the

career we shall undertake, and finally our associates in the

work and its beneficiaries. " What he is describing is that we

develop an ability for strategic thinking, quietly studying and

determining our course before we set sail from one point in

our life to the next.

[ibid, p. 87.]

Beyond this, be realistic! Regarding any endeavor, Seneca

stresses that you " put your hand to one you can finish or at

least hope to finish... "

[ibid, p. 88.]

And realistic goal-setting, according to Csikszentmihalyi,

is psychologically positive and enjoyable---because

" clear goals, stable rules, and challenges [that are] well

matched to skills [present] little opportunity for the self

to be threatened. "

[Csikszentmihalyi, FLOW, p. 63.]

Of course life is not all work and service to others. We need

to well serve ourselves also. If we are to lead a successful

life, one of our crucial choices will center upon friendship.

" Nothing can equal the pleasures of faithful and congenial

friendship. " But Seneca gives warning! We need to be mindful

over the choice of our friends. Rather than moving into diatribes

about choosing good or bad people as friends, Seneca puts it

simply: " To mingle the healthy with the sick is the beginning

of disease. "

[Hadas, STOIC PHILOSOPHY OF SENECA, p. 89.]

Senca's wisdom is reflected by Csikszentmihalyi when

he exclaims that besides enjoyable work, " studies on

Flow have demonstrated repeatedly that more than

anything else, the quality of life depends on...our relations

with other people. " He proceeds: " We are biologically

programmed to find other human beings the most important

objects in the world. " And as Seneca stressed, and

Csikszentmihalyi states, we need to be discernful about our

choice of friends... " because they can make life either very

interesting and fulfilling or utterly miserable...how we

manage relationships with them makes an enormous

difference to our happiness. "

[Csikszentmihalyi, FLOW, p. 164.]

It pays to be thrifty, too! Of course there's the woes of

materialism and ostentation, but Seneca focuses especially

on spiritual thrift. " We must learn to strengthen self-restraint,

curb luxury, temper ambition, moderate anger, view poverty

calmly, cultivate frugality...keep restive aspirations...and make

it our business to get our riches from ourselves rather than

from Fortune. "

[Hadas, STOIC PHILOSOPHY OF SENECA,p. 91.]

Not forgetting that a balanced life is a better life, Seneca

alerts us that we must also engage in solitude as well as

service. " It is important to withdraw into one's self. "

We need respite for ourselves, time to relax and enjoy life.

So go ahead and pursue the joys of the intellect or the

athletic life. Pursue, too, simplicity: " We ought to take

outdoor walks, to refresh and raise our spirits by deep

breathing in the open air. Sometimes energy will be

refreshed by a carriage drive, a journey, a change of scene,

good company, and a more generous wine. "

[ibid, p. 105.]

But Csikszentmihalyi realizes that solitude is a major

concern for modern people. Talking about ways to grow,

about ways of creating higher forms of order in our lives

in order to forestall entropy, he points out that we need

to take time for quiet learning and improving our skills.

And, especially, when " physical vigor fails with age...it

means that one [should] be ready to turn one's energies

from the mastery of the external world to a deep exploration

of inner reality. " But-- " it is difficult to accomplish any

of them unless one has earlier acquired the habit of using

solitude to good advantage. " We need to " tame " solitude,

and Seneca's excellent suggestions above provide a fine

foundation.

[Csikszentmihalyi, FLOW, p. 172.]

Nonetheless, Seneca is no pollyanna. He realizes the adversities

that all of us must face in this life. It's seemingly our condition

in this world. Still we have the ability to cope and adapt, if we

so choose--even with this! " Man must...complain of it as little as

possible, and grasp whatever good lies within his reach. " Again,

" apply good sense to your problems; the hard can be softened,

the narrow widened, and the heavy made lighter by the skillful

bearer. " And for what is seemingly impossible, leave it alone!

[Hadas, STOIC PHILOSOPHY OF SENECA, pp. 93-94.]

For Csikszentmihalyi Seneca's above advice is about " taming chaos. "

As he puts it, " sooner or later everyone will have to confront

events that contradict his goals: disappointments, severe illness,

financial reversal, and eventually the inevitability of one's death. "

Thus, " It is for this reason that courage, resilience, perseverance,

mature defense, or transformation coping--the dissipative

structures of the mind--are so essential. Without them we would

be constantly suffering through the random bombardment of

stray psychological meteorites. "

[Csikszentmihalyi, FLOW, p. 202.]

And, finally, any life well spent must look bravely at the issue

of death. If we fear too much and dwell on death, it will bring

us down. " A man afraid of death will never play the part of a live

man. " Rather than dwell on death, depression, and discouragement,

Seneca wisely advises that we " take the lighter view of these

things...it is more civilized to laugh at life than to lament over it. "

[Hadas, STOIC PHILOSOPHY OF SENECA, p. 102.]

--Beatrix