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> Message: 2

> Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 18:15:22 +1000

>

> Subject: An intro from Australia

>

> Hello everyone,

>

> I was writing an introduction, but then I hit the wrong button and I lost

> about 10 minutes worth of typing ... I simply can't start it all again, but

> for now I'll just say that, my name is Kit, I'm 31 and I live in Tasmania,

> Australia with my partner, Jon. (Much later, I was able to add the

> following):

>

> I have had CFS/FM for four years and have been in continual high level pain

> since December 1996 when I had a bad relapse as a result of getting amoebic

> colitis in rural southern India.

>

> My continual pain is joints and muscles, especially back and neck and hips

> and shoulders ... chest muscles (ie. when breathing). I also have frequent

> headaches, migraines, finger joint pain, eye pain (photophobia) and jaw

> pain etc etc etc ... too much to list.

>

> I'm still struggling with grief and denial and finding it very difficult to

> cope. I tried going back to work in July 97 but couldn't keep going and

> had to quit last December .... looking back I don't know how I ever kept

> going for that long.

>

> I'm on Zoloft too ... 150 mg daily and it helps with the depression a bit,

> but not the pain. I tried Amitriptyline, but reacted badly to it. Now I'm

> on Doxepin for sleep (only very low dose - 50 mg) which helps a bit, and I

> add Murelax (Oxazepam) when it's really bad. I have nightmares and

> drenching night sweats every night. Melatonin didn't work because

> apparently my system just doesn't know how to use it ... so it doesn't work

> just to add more in tablet form.

>

> I'm on Epilim (Sodium Valproate - anticonvulsant) to help " turn down the

> volume " on my hyper everything nervous system. But my doctors have taken

> me off pain meds because they feel that my pain is the result of a neural

> reset to a hypervigilant state and pain meds will prevent spontaneous

> recovery (feels more like spontaneous combustion to me). (Was using

> Codeine but had started getting rebound headaches from it).

>

> I can take Endone (Oxycodone) when the pain is at its " jump off the balcony

> NOW " worst so that helps a little.

>

> I've been given a prognosis of 2 - 5 years ... but I think they're only

> guessing. I've been going to the Pain Clinic psychologist here, but she

> hasn't been able to help that much as I was already practiced in the use of

> meditation and relaxation techniques.

>

> This is supposed to be looking for a long term solution - and I've been

> told that blocking the pain with medication only helps short term, but

> doesn't teach the body to re-establish normal functioning. I don't know

> what I think of this really ... on my bad days it feels like a rotten idea.

>

> When I sit, I'm in pain

> When I stand, I'm in pain

> When I walk, I'm in pain

> (Can't run)

> When I lie down, I'm in pain

> When I move, I'm in pain

> When I breath, I'm in pain

> When I live, I'm in pain

> :(

>

> I know some other friends with CFS/FM who's doctors have put them on MS

> Contin (sustained release 12 hour morphine) or Methadone, but my doctors

> seem to be opio-phobic so _I_ have to suffer ... they (my doctors) don't

> live with this day after day after day ... how can they ever understand

> what I'm going through and what cruel torture my life has become.

>

> Sorry for raving ... and it all sounds a bit melodramatic now that I read

> over it, but I won't change it, because, at least it's honest, and I may as

> well start out as I mean to continue.

>

> Thanks for listening,

> Kit.

>

>

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