Re: oprah/abortiion/community

[Guest guest]

, your words were beautifully written and represent others of us on the

list also. I too felt this was not the place to speak out about such a hot

personal and politcal topic. It opens the door for so many other personal

opinions that aren't relevent to recovering our kids. We have adopted 4

children

with mixed disabilities from cerebral palsy to autism. I can't imagine being

without them if their birth mothers had chosen abortion. We have learned so

much from their pain filled young lives. God has a plan for each of their

lives despite their disabilites. Thank you for speaking what is in our hearts

too.

[Guest guest]

,

I want to share a story with you. When my beautiful 12-year-old daughter was

less than two years old, I found myself pregnant again. My husband and I were

excited at the possibility of another child because my children from my first

marriage were a lot older than our child.

I was about five months pregnant when I had an ultra-sound. It was almost an

accident that I had it, (except I don't think it was an accident, I think it was

something sent to me.) I worked at a hospital and they were testing some new

equipment and I was the guinea pig. My doctor had not scheduled an utra-sound

because my last pregnancy was fine and she really wasn't concerned yet.

The day of the ultra-sound I thought I read something odd on the technician's

face, but she didn't say anything so I put it out of my head. We found out the

baby was a boy.

A week later when I went for a checkup, my doctor, at the close of the visit,

said, Oh they sent me a copy of the utra-sound they did on the new equipment and

there is something we need to check out. I remembered the look I had seen on the

technician's face and I waited a long weekend for the next ultra-sound.

After that ultra-sound, I wound up at a big medical center seeing a specialist

to have amnio done. We waited another very long two weeks to get the results.

The day my doctor called is burned into my memory forever. Please know that my

doctor is not only a physician but a foreign missionary and is very pro-life.

That morning she told me that I needed to seriously consider medically

terminating my pregnancy.

Understand, this is a baby we wanted very much, but he had genetic anomalies

that would not have allowed him to live. It was a rare genetic condition and

these babies don't survive for long if they survive birth at all. I had been

pretty sick the entire pregnancy and I knew I was not doing well the whole time.

So on a rainy summer morning I went into the hospital to terminate my pregnancy.

I was just shy of six months. The nurse who was assigned to me let me know she

was a Christian and was opposed to what I was doing. She said things like, " this

may take several days because these babies fight to stay in. " She made an awful

situation right and I have never seen my gentle husband so upset with another

human.

This nurse was at my side when my child was delivered that night and after

seeing the baby, took my hand and said, " you made the right decision. " Would you

close the door on my ability to make that decision?

I tell you this story because I do not think issues like abortion are black and

white, there are grey areas and there are things you cannot understand until you

experience them personally.

The night after we lost our child while I was still in the hospital, my husband

woke up and came to my bedside. He told me thought he understood something. This

is what he said and I believe he was right.

" This baby was a soul who needed to know that someone loved it enough not to let

it suffer. That someone would suffer hurt and heartbreak to spare him the

suffering. "

If my child had managed to make it to full term and if I had managed to stay

healthy enough to deliver him, his short life would have been one of only

suffering. I am at peace with what happened and I think we all need to step back

and realize that we cannot know the hearts of people or the reasons why things

happen in this life.

More than anything I am concerned about the spirit that has engulfed our nation.

In many ways it is a spirit of fear and negativity and division.

As the Bible says, you know a tree by the fruit it bears. I do not think that

peace and freedom can grow from the seeds of fear and violence anymore than

apples will grow on my oak trees.

I do not look at my daughter's autism as an ugly condition because it is part of

who she is at this place in her life. I am working to discover what it is that I

need to learn from her autism, what she has to teach me. I will continue to do

all I can to help her, but I will also continue to look for the lessons I am

supposed to learn. I believe as the Bible says, " All things work together for

good ... " even autism.

Maybe I have been at this longer, but I do more than barely survive each day. I

celebrate every day that I see my child's precious face. I celebrate her

successes, the little miracles that my daughter gives me with her smiles and her

surprise behaviors.

I think it is time for the focus to stop being " us " and " them. " Whether " them "

is Republicans and " us " is Democrats or the other way around. We are all in this

together, sink or swim.

Insulting each other's beliefs won't get us to the place of peace and harmony

that where we all long to be.

In Sunday school I learned that the most important verse in the Bible is " God is

Love. " I think that is true no matter by what name you call your God and that is

what we need to remember as we address each other. As Christ said " In as much as

you have done it unto one of the least of these, you have done it unto me. " So

we probably should look for the Christ in everyone else and think before we

speak.

I also think the most important thing that we can do for ourselves and for our

children is to keep open minds that are willing to be tolerant of differences of

opinion.

I thank Dr. J.M. and Jack for the spirit they bring to this group. Yes, it is a

place to seek answers to the puzzle of autism. It is also a place to reach out

to each other in love and to talk about the things that matter to our hearts.

God gave us these children for a reason. So let us celebrate them and grow

together in love and understanding.

oprah/abortiion/community

Dear Dr. McCandless and others,

I personally feel very disappointed , if not insulted, at the implication

that all of us on this list feel the same way you do about abortion.

I joined the list to gain and share information with other

parents/professionals and learn about biomedical interventions to help my

precious child. I did not anticipate this list to be a forum for a certain

political agenda and a place to bash those of us who are Christians,

republicans, or believe in the sanctity of life.

Since emails were very offensive and attacking, I feel compelled to express

my own views and clarify a lot of " untruths " and " sad misconceptions "

before dropping the subject.

The FACT remains that " terminating a pregnancy by abortion " is " killing a

human life " in the safest place a baby could be " in the mother's womb " .

Scientifically speaking: The human DNA is uniquely distinguished at the

moment of conception.....It is a human life.

Another FACT is whether that BABY that is growing inside is made by love,

rape, or incest is still a human life with a heartbeat (as early as six

weeks of pregnancy), toes, fingers, a face, and yes feels pain.

Furthermore. We are punishing the " baby " by killing him (up to the day that

he could be born) for someone else's poor choices and decisions. That is

exactly what is mirroring the state of mind of our society nowadays. It is

all about " me! me! me! " . It is all about convenience and shifting

responsibility. It is not convenient to have a baby, so let's kill him. It

is not convenient to care for our sick parent so let's offer them " mercy

killing " ,...etc.

A lot was unknown, back in the days of the passing of Roe vs. Wade, but rest

assure that with the technology we have now including the 4-D ultrasound

(http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3846525.stm)

......http://orgs.unt.edu/efl/Sec4.html#d2, the Supreme Court would not have

made such an evil decision.

I realize that after posting my email. I may not be welcome in this group,

and I may lose out on some valuable information. However, how could I trust

again any advice coming out of this group that believe that I had every

right to " kill " my son while growing inside me if I had a chance to know

that he would be autistic. I love my son autistic or not. I pray everyday

for his recovery, and have devoted my life to help him, and care for him.

Our family has been greatly affected by this ugly condition, as your

families have, and we barely survive from one day to another with all the

challenges it presents. Nevertheless, my son has also been a blessing to us

all. We have learned to be compassionate, patient, and persevering. His

life is no less valuable than any one of us. To think that I could just

deny him life because he was going to be imperfect is the ultimate

selfishness ever....

I pray that you have the courage to re-examine your position about this

issue using all the facts available and come to a different conclusion.

Sincerely,

Many frequently asked questions and answers can be found at

<http://forums.autism-rxguidebook.com/default.aspx>

[Guest guest]

- I am very touched by your story. I admire your courage, both

in facing your tragedy and in making your decision, and I am sorry

for your loss.

Warmly,

> ,

> I want to share a story with you. When my beautiful 12-year-old

daughter was less than two years old, I found myself pregnant again.

My husband and I were excited at the possibility of another child

because my children from my first marriage were a lot older than our

child.

> I was about five months pregnant when I had an ultra-sound. It was

almost an accident that I had it, (except I don't think it was an

accident, I think it was something sent to me.) I worked at a

hospital and they were testing some new equipment and I was the

guinea pig. My doctor had not scheduled an utra-sound because my last

pregnancy was fine and she really wasn't concerned yet.

> The day of the ultra-sound I thought I read something odd on the

technician's face, but she didn't say anything so I put it out of my

head. We found out the baby was a boy.

> A week later when I went for a checkup, my doctor, at the close of

the visit, said, Oh they sent me a copy of the utra-sound they did on

the new equipment and there is something we need to check out. I

remembered the look I had seen on the technician's face and I waited

a long weekend for the next ultra-sound.

> After that ultra-sound, I wound up at a big medical center seeing a

specialist to have amnio done. We waited another very long two weeks

to get the results.

> The day my doctor called is burned into my memory forever. Please

know that my doctor is not only a physician but a foreign missionary

and is very pro-life. That morning she told me that I needed to

seriously consider medically terminating my pregnancy.

> Understand, this is a baby we wanted very much, but he had genetic

anomalies that would not have allowed him to live. It was a rare

genetic condition and these babies don't survive for long if they

survive birth at all. I had been pretty sick the entire pregnancy and

I knew I was not doing well the whole time.

> So on a rainy summer morning I went into the hospital to terminate

my pregnancy. I was just shy of six months. The nurse who was

assigned to me let me know she was a Christian and was opposed to

what I was doing. She said things like, " this may take several days

because these babies fight to stay in. " She made an awful situation

right and I have never seen my gentle husband so upset with another

human.

> This nurse was at my side when my child was delivered that night

and after seeing the baby, took my hand and said, " you made the right

decision. " Would you close the door on my ability to make that

decision?

> I tell you this story because I do not think issues like abortion

are black and white, there are grey areas and there are things you

cannot understand until you experience them personally.

> The night after we lost our child while I was still in the

hospital, my husband woke up and came to my bedside. He told me

thought he understood something. This is what he said and I believe

he was right.

> " This baby was a soul who needed to know that someone loved it

enough not to let it suffer. That someone would suffer hurt and

heartbreak to spare him the suffering. "

> If my child had managed to make it to full term and if I had

managed to stay healthy enough to deliver him, his short life would

have been one of only suffering. I am at peace with what happened and

I think we all need to step back and realize that we cannot know the

hearts of people or the reasons why things happen in this life.

> More than anything I am concerned about the spirit that has

engulfed our nation. In many ways it is a spirit of fear and

negativity and division.

> As the Bible says, you know a tree by the fruit it bears. I do not

think that peace and freedom can grow from the seeds of fear and

violence anymore than apples will grow on my oak trees.

> I do not look at my daughter's autism as an ugly condition because

it is part of who she is at this place in her life. I am working to

discover what it is that I need to learn from her autism, what she

has to teach me. I will continue to do all I can to help her, but I

will also continue to look for the lessons I am supposed to learn. I

believe as the Bible says, " All things work together for good ... "

even autism.

> Maybe I have been at this longer, but I do more than barely survive

each day. I celebrate every day that I see my child's precious face.

I celebrate her successes, the little miracles that my daughter gives

me with her smiles and her surprise behaviors.

> I think it is time for the focus to stop being " us " and " them. "

Whether " them " is Republicans and " us " is Democrats or the other way

around. We are all in this together, sink or swim.

> Insulting each other's beliefs won't get us to the place of peace

and harmony that where we all long to be.

> In Sunday school I learned that the most important verse in the

Bible is " God is Love. " I think that is true no matter by what name

you call your God and that is what we need to remember as we address

each other. As Christ said " In as much as you have done it unto one

of the least of these, you have done it unto me. " So we probably

should look for the Christ in everyone else and think before we speak.

> I also think the most important thing that we can do for ourselves

and for our children is to keep open minds that are willing to be

tolerant of differences of opinion.

> I thank Dr. J.M. and Jack for the spirit they bring to this group.

Yes, it is a place to seek answers to the puzzle of autism. It is

also a place to reach out to each other in love and to talk about the

things that matter to our hearts.

> God gave us these children for a reason. So let us celebrate them

and grow together in love and understanding.

>

>

>

>

>