2029 Headlines ;)

[Guest guest]

Here's a light-hearted one to muse on today !

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh

largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as

California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized

as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and

livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory

of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and

Lebanon).

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10

more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported

legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking!!!

Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and

reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight

loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter

speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

(Hummmmmmmmm)

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil

rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly

swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political

contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whoever you want to and as many as you want and

guess what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely

nothing, except you might make someone smile.