Stupid Bully Tricks cont. again

November 18, 2004

Now we get to the darker part of all of this. Here are a few examples

of their sadism and cowardice.

Shortly after learning to ride a bicycle, we up the street to where

there was this steep hill the road went down. At the bottom was a T-

intersection where the road went straight over a deep ravine and the

turn off paralleled it. They were ahead of me and went to the right,

the turn-off. I froze up going down that hill and tried to turn too

little too late. I hit the squared curb and ended up crashing. I can

still recall landing on my stomach, being tangled in the bike and

sliding along. That slide went over the edge of the ravine. That part

was very steep and deep, but there was a terrace partway down. I

landed on the terrace and did not go all the way down. I expected my

friends to come looking for me, but they didn't. Hauling my bike to

the top, I didn't see them anywhere. So, I rode to their house and

they were all watching TV like nothing had happened, like my walking

in was the first time they had seen me all day. There I stood covered

with bruises and cuts and they asked what happened to me, in front of

their mother. That's right, my friends abandonned me when I could

have been badly hurt.

Another time we were down at the creek that runs through the

neighborhood. It runs through a usually wide ravine with high sides,

like 30 feet, but right down at the main waterflow it is narrow and

has a steep cut of about 3 feet. There is usually also flat ground or

gentle slopes near the water, but above the cut. We were up a ways

from our houses when one of them yelled that a big dog was coming. We

had shovels machetes and such and they acted like they were going to

stand their ground. Being in front, I readied my shovel and was going

to be the first one to make contact. The dog came around a bend and

it was just a Golden Retriever. It walked up to me wagging its tail

to be pet. When I turned around, my friends were near the top of a

slope probably 150 feet away from me, the shovels and such dropped

along the way. At their house, they denied the whole thing of course.

The same happened later, but this time it was a bunch of kids from

the housing projects up the way. Again they ran off leaving me to

face 5 tough street kids. Fortunately they weren't looking for a

fight or anything and were interested in all the stuff I knew about

the woods.

At the local mall, which was close enough for us to ride our bikes to

but has been closed for ages, I was with a groups of the guys from

school. I was out front minding my own business when the other guys

go running past me. I start running too but not knowing what was

going on. We all went out the fire door, down a little alley and they

all split to the winds. I followed one guy into this retirement hom

complex and looked back. There were maybe 8 black kids back there

watching us running around. It seems that friend saw one of them and

called him a stupid nigger. Friend being as observant as he was

smart, didn't see the others in his group still in the store, but

they all heard what he said. That was the reason for the chase. Of

course, he was trying to sound like the hero, that those kids were

trying to rob us and he lead us away from them and even stood them

off so we could get away. Interesting how he held them off by being

the first one out front.

There were many other things like this, ranging from blaming me for

things they did, like shooting the neighbor's cats, to actually

running from me when I had had enough of them and came after them

with murder in mind.

They were also a sadistic bunch.

When their (step)father was helping build a treehouse in my backyard

after we moved next door to them, I was the only one helping him. The

two brothers were busy try to knock the other two of us off the

platform. They would knock over stacks of boards when we were near

the edge, bump into us and things like that. This treehouse was about

12 feet up, so a fall could really have hurt.

When fishing, they would swing the line as close to you as they

could. The few times they actually caught it on someone, they would

act shocked, but you could tell they delighted in it.

The times I spent the night over there were very instructive. Friend

and little bro would always end up getting in fights. This would

usually start as banging on the walls and then raids on each other's

rooms. They would progress from shoving to throwing stuffed animals

and pillows to their sports trophies which were dangerous since they

had stone bases. The worst was the Santa Claus. This was a Christmas

Decoration like a conical Santa made of plush material that was

stuffed with cotton wadding on the top and glue beads on the bottom

to make it sit upright. They would throw that very hard since it

wasn't likely to cause bad injury. That thing also hurt because it

was heavy and could be throw hard. Whoever got hit by it usually

ended up on the floor crying.

When big bro had had enough, he would come out of his room and get

into it. Once as big bro was going back into his room, friend threw

Santa at his his door. Unfortunately, big bro popped the door open

again when he heard little bro yell. The Santa clipped him and

bounced into the room. Friend tried to run downstairs to get away to

his parents and away from big bro's wrath. He made it about halfway

down the stairs when big bro hit him in the back with the Santa. He

threw it so hard that it literally knocked friend off of his feet and

onto his stomach.

During one of their many game ending fights, big bro got home from

his soccer practice. I was up on the screen porch because the two

brothers had been throwing rocks at each other. Little bro was on his

way up the steps and onto the porch. Big bro past him and came up on

the porch where I was. Friend ran to the bottom of the steps and

pulled this chunk of concrete out from the broken walk and threw it

as little bro hard. Little bro managed to dodge it. The chunk came

through the screen and hit big bro in the shin. This sent me running

into the house, little bro diving off the steps and friend screaming

he was sorry. Big bro burst through the door and down the steps after

friend who ran squealing behind the garage. Big bro easily caught him

and the screams went up several octaves. With a big grin on his face,

big bro comes back up on the porch and goes inside. Friend stagers

out into the yard with his shin torn bloody by big bro's cleats.

A word of warning about this one. If you are sickened easily or

queasy, don't read this next bit. This is one of the cruelest things

I have witnessed one person do to another.

I was visiting over there one day and all three brothers were around.

We were in the basement TV/Game/Pool room. That is the set up for

what comes next. I was playing the video game and friend and little

bro were playing knock it nooney. It of course degenerated into a

fight and pool balls were starting to fly. This didn't last long (my

memory is a little hazy here since I was fixated on the game) but

little bro had vanished and big bro had a hold of friend. I think

friend either hit big bro with a pool ball or came very close.

Anyway, big bro had chased him into the adjoining utility portion of

the basement and was roughing him up. The next thing I knew, Big bro

was dragging friend into the bathroom down there. Now, those boys

would use that toilet to pee in but would rarely flush (or lift the

seat) until you could smell it throughout the basement, or their

mother flushed it. Big bro put the seat and lid up and was forcing

friend's head into the bowl, and it had not been flushed for some

time. I saw friend's head disappear under the rim of the bowl,

screaming like mad the whole time.

Suddenly, big bro pulls him up and starts jerking him around. I

noticed at one point here that big bro saw me in the mirror. We even

made eye contact. Now, I was in in the other room and near the stairs

to make a run for it, and I edged around a little farther after that.

The next thing I hear is friend screaming " no! nooo!!! " really loud.

That turns into real screaming like I had never heard a person scream

before. I edge sideways for a better look and I see big bro has

friend's hand in his. Friend's hand os covered with blood. Big bro

had found a razorblade in the medicine cabinet and had cut open one

of friend's fingers. Big bro looked in the mirror and saw me again

and ordered me to go upstairs and get some salt out of the kitchen

and bring it to him. Friend howled at this. When I didn't move, big

bro turned really fast at me and gave me a look that I knew meant I

would be next. So, I ran upstairs and got the salt and gave it to

him. After that I ran upstairs and out of the house, chased all the

way by screams you can't imagine. I didn't go back down there for

weeks, and left whenever big bro came around.

There were other things as well, but that's enough for now.

More stories if anyone wants them.

November 19, 2004

I'll give you an example of the worst bullying I have every

WITNESSED to date. (I've experienced one nasty case, but won't get

into it).

When I was in sixth grade, the bullying against me temporarily

stopped when a new girl came to school. I lived in a community that

was at that time mostly Catholic and Protestant, and this new girl

was Jewish. She had moved into the area and started at the

beginning of the year.

Her first name was and her last name was one that " Mike "

targeted immediately as being Jewish. As it happened, she WAS Jewish.

As soon as Mike had confirmed this, he and his other two cronies

were running circles around her at both recesses yelling " Christ

killer! Christ killer! " and before the week was out, he had boys

from both sixth grade classes doing it. Before TWO weeks were out,

he had both boys AND girls from the sixth and fifth grades doing it

(the fifth and sixth graders shared the same playground at recess).

This went on for weeks during which time just stayed there

and cried. Me and some other kids wouldn't join in the harassment

and so got beat up. As a result, we went to theK through 4th grade

playground and hung around there.

Now here is the worst part:

In social studies we had been progressing from the pilgrims to slave

times, and one of the exercises was to draw an " illustration "

representing slavery. In retrospect, this was an extremely racist

exercise because the result was a bunch of pictures of white stick

figures holding whips and a bunch of shackled stick figures with

their heads colored black.

When we turned in or assignments,Mike was immediately taken out into

the hall and talked to by the teacher. I didn't know why, but was

pleased to see that Mike was apparently getting in trouble.

The next day, all our pictures were up on the bulletin board and we

all went to see what our grades were. I got a " C. " Mike got a " A "

and I was REALLY angry.

His picture showed a white stick figure with a swastika armband

holding a whip over a bunch of white stick figures wearing armbands

with six pointed stars on them. There was a little sign in the

corner with an arrow on it that said " This way to the ovens. "

I wass upset. I wasn't sure if there Nazis in Civil War times or

not, but I was POSITIVE there were no white slaves. How could Mike

have gotten an " A " ? I didn't ask the teacher though because I knew

that Mike was the teacher's pet. She never got after him for

beating on me.

A day passed and a girl raised her hand in class and asked why Mike

got an " A " when there were no Nazis in Civil War times. The teacher

explained that the illustrations were meant to depict our

understanding of slavery, not the civil war, and that there were

many different types of slaves. She explained that the Nazis did

indeed use slave labor, although it wasn't until WWII and that these

slaves were mostly Jews. Even though Mike's drawing wasn't

particulary skillful, he got an " A " as " extra credit " for thinking

outside the box.

When the recess bell rang, kids went up to look at the picture and

almost right away, the kids started giggling and snickering. I

didn't know what was so funny so I waited for everybody to leave (I

always left last for recess to try to sneak out a different door

where the bullies weren't waiting for me and go to a different

playground.

I looked at the picture, and between when my teacher had hung the

picture and that day, Mike had drawn " hair " on one of the stick

figures wearing the six-pointed star armband and had put an arrow

above the figure. Written above the arrow was " . " I wanted

to tell the teacher but was afraid I would get beaten up. The

illustration stayed up there for another few days before they were

replaced by new ones for the next assignment.

's parents pulled her out of the school a month or so later,

but some of the girls kept in touch with her, and Mike got word that

she went to another school where there was a greater Jewish student

population.

Her new school closed half an hour later than ours did, and so the

bullies got on their bikes and rode over there after school and did

what they called " Beannie Bopping. " They would throw crabapples and

rocks at her and Jewish boys as they exited the school, especially

the ones that wore Yarmulkes.

The school authorities would call the cops on them, and even had the

cops patroling for them (the bullies claimed) but they were never

caught.

That poor girl must have felt terrible.

Tom

>

Now we get to the darker part of all of this. Here are a few

examples of their sadism and cowardice.

>

November 20, 2004

Nick wrote:

> That is sickening. Words hurt forever but physical pain will eventually go

> away. ¨

This is true. So the old mantra " sticks and stones can break my bones but

words can never hurt me " is not really true. Pretending to be your friend

and then setting you up in various ways, spreading things that you've told

them in confidence, being excluded or subtly criticised etc, can hurt far

more than just being pushed around by a bunch idiots.

> I remember 6th grade as

if it were a nightmare and I finally woke up. It

reminds me of the song You Got A friend

because in the last lines he writes Ain't it good to

know that youv'e got a friend when people can be so

cold. They'll hurt you and desert you, well they'll

take your soul if you let them ah but don't you let

them. is suspected of having Asperger's

and admitted himself to a psychiatric ward a few times

and met a girl there who was a true friend and really

nice. He dedicated the song to her.

Nice. I didn't know that.

> I have to make a

conscious effort to forgive these horrible people that

actually tried to destroy me and tried to destroy

others like me.

I always try to keep in mind that they really don't know what they are

doing, and that their actions *will* come back to them one way or the other.

As I told Tom a while back, people who bully others are ususally either very

unhappy and frustrated, or so turned off from humane feelings that they are

bound to just create more misery for themselves. I can't help but feel sorry

for anyone whose feelings are so limited to the lower octaves that the only

joy they can get out of life is to cause suffering to others.

> I think as Aspies we need to stop being the victims and get the confidence

> to sharply point out to these bullies their inadequacies and how these

> inadequacies are the reason that they are jealous and feel the need to

> bully someone superior to them. It will crush their ego if you do it the

> right way.

Problem is that many of us don't really have it in us to crush *anything*.

We just want to be left alone.

> Believe me, I got fed up and started shooting

right back at them only I was much harsher and it was

100% effective because they never went NEAR me again.

Hmm. What on earth did you say???

> If we don't put an end to a bully bullying us right

away then we only allow them to feel more confident in

their skills of hate and sociopathic narcissism. We

allow them to feel out what gets us angry and to hone

in on us at the times that we're MOST vulnerable and

less talkative.

Yes, they are skilled at that.

> And that my friends is a disservice to the good people who must be

> protected from hate and discrimination, the ones more easily prone to

> depression and focusing on inner weather.

" Inner weather " - that's a great expression.

> Be watchful like a hawk when it comes to who real friends are and which

> ones are the fakes, the ones who walk out on you in times of loneliness or

> trouble, the ones who only like you because it makes them look

> compassionate and deserving of leadership, and the ones who point out all

> your flaws and PRETENDING THAT THEY'RE ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU. DON'T

> BELIEVE IT FOR A SECOND.

Right. There is one such predator on another board who behaves exactly like

this. Unfortunately, many are fooled by her and only discover too late that

she only wants to use them to promote her self-image.

A person in our Swedish Aspie-forum suggested that a good way to tell a real

friend from a fake one is to lend them a small sum of money (that you can

afford to lose). The non-friends will soon show their true colors when you

ask them for your money back. It's also a great way of getting rid of them

since they tend to avoid people they owe money. :-)

Inger

November 20, 2004

, I'm totally amazed that kids kan be this uncaring and cruel (and

not just children, unfortunataly).

I don't think I've met anyone *that* demented here in Sweden, but I remember

being totally shocked when I realised that a classmate I had brought home

had actually stolen from me. To me such an act would be unthinkable. It took

me the longest time to get over.

Inger

wrote:

> Now we get to the darker part of all of this. Here are a few examples

of their sadism and cowardice.

> Shortly after learning to ride a bicycle, we up the street to where