Re: New Members

[Guest guest]

as per our kind moderators' suggestion this will be a short intro about me.

name: Margie , age 52 Married 20 yrs to my second hubby. Married 13 yrs to

my

first. We have a 29 yr old son, who is married and lives in Tx with my 'most

wonderful grandson , (age 5) and his due anyday sister . I

really hurts to not be able to see them more often.

address: SW Washington State, USA

previous life: I was a janitor and also cleaned houses on the side for 10 yrs

until

fibro reared it's ugly head.

That was brought on by an emergency gall bladder surgery with

complication---paracarditis. 6 weeks later went back to work and found I could

no

longer do the job. My body had betrayed me. I quit and filled for SSDI. Been

denied 3 times on the first claim and once on the second. Still jumping thru

the

hoops and having my attorney do all my paperwork for me. she tells me not to

give up

hope, which I haven't . My mental and emotional state cannot deal with SSA any

longer so thank God for my wonderful attorney

present life: dealing with antidepressant med changes (not very well) and

dealing

with more and more pain physically as well as emotionally. Chronic depression

has

been a problem since childhood, and is controlled well on the proper meds, until

they

stop working. Right now I have too many stresses to deal with and every mole

hill is

a mountain. My female hormones are messed up also. When my HMO finally can

find

the proper amounts of the proper meds I can once again turn my energy to dealing

with

fms and life in general. Right now I'm a basket case. Still dealing with all

the

SSA instructions and paperwork.

Anyone who has gone thru this I am sure can relate to how degrading it can be

.. My last denial said I could do light work....ie....as a janitor is an office.

I

went into my hair ripper, head banger mode. I still don't understand why they

(ssa)

have to word everything to either make you seem like a moron, or a lazy person,

or

even it's an 'all in your head' condition.

So many negative things have been happening in the last 6 months that I have no

reserve to deal with them and mostly just sit around and cry. I have gone to

Mental

Health 2 times this week. Once to see the psycothapist, and once to see the

psychotherapist practicion nurse. At least they are given me some hope.

I am not sucidal, just wish I were dead, and cry all the time, I'm not able at

this

point to think things thru and take positive action. Physical pain is a big

part of

this breakdown. SSDI denied me because the said I was addicted to Rx narcotics.

My

PCP was very upset as she keeps very close tabs on my rx meds. limiting me to

so

many so much.at a time. I now take so few it hardly counts and on y take them

when

the decision is either take an Rx narcotic for the pain or kill my self . Life

has

been extrememly difficult the last 6 month, but I have hope that once my meds

are

straightened out I can be my happy self once again.

My stupid move of the day was to take my night meds instead of my morning meds.

I

may be sleeping all day today.. I can use the rest. :-)

I know my mental state is due to chemical imbalance and also hormanal

imbalance.

It may take a while to straighted them out. But at least I know there is hope.

Lets plan a secreat cyber pary for Ken...Don't read this post Ken..

Reading the posts with interest, but not responding much. This is my " away

mode " ,

which I need to recover from my chemically mixed up emotions. If a post is too

stressful or very sad I just delete it. Nothing persoanl, just protecting my

allready fragile emotional state.

I've babbled, and I meant to keep this short......margie

Turbin wrote:

>

>

> Hello everyone,

>

> Well, we now have 54 subscribers, and I would like to welcome all the

new

> folks we haven't gotten to know much about yet. If you haven't so far,

> please take a few minutes to introduce yourselves. It doesn't need to be

> all war stories. Its nice to know a bit about people.

>

> Ken

>

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