Re: re:cant travel anymore-Sheri D

[Guest guest]

Dear Sheri,

Very strange I feel as if I am writing to myself, in

more than one way.

Sending him a ticket is fine, but you need to set the

rules down from day one. My daughter now 11 lives 3.5

days a week with dad (who purchases the world for her,

and has no rules). Once she enters my house for 3.5

days, that first day is hard but she knows the rules.

And your son will change his ways or not, but mom

isn't the bank down the street.

When I hear of children moving from one parent to the

other I always ask what are they running away from.

If that problem isn't solved it just goes with them.

But, rules may work, and never forget you have all of

us, and he will have to understand there are times you

will have good days and not so good. As I told my

child I didn't ask for any of this, it just is. We

can complain about it or move forward getting done

what ever we can.

I hope I am making sense, I think I am losing myself

here!!

You know love and prayers are always here for you,

Sheri

--- sheri duke <sheriduke@...> wrote:

> : I don't feel alone when I read e-mails like

> the one you wrote. You all make it bearable to deal

> with all the emotions and physical changes that come

> along with the lupus and arthritis. Before I found

> this web site I thought that there could be no one

> else in this world that could possibly help me face

> all this. I have a 17 year old son, who has been

> living with his father in California, where he was

> raised, as well as I. He has decided to be a typical

> teenager this last year and has been failing to

> finish school, and tells his dad everyday that he

> wants to move out. My son called me a few times this

> week wanting money, I am sure to run away from his

> fathers home. My husband and I have decided to send

> him a ticket to Florida and will try to repair what

> we already know is probably impossible. It has been

> a few years since he has lived with me, and it broke

> my heart when he wanted to live with his father in

> California. There was not a day that went by, that I

> didn't dream of him wanting to come home. Now it's

> here, and I am scared to death, I was not sick when

> he moved , and now I am. It has been so much to

> handle learning of my illnesses, and have just now

> begun to realize the impact of living with them. I

> like you said have realized that the worries of

> income and not being able to work, could drive

> anyone insane, yet I knew that my husband and I

> would do fine, somehow with all the medical cost and

> medications, but a 17 year old, how much does that

> cost? Ha..Ha.. I thank you for being so honest about

> your experiences, and letting me know I am not

> alone. It really does make a world of difference to

> me, I feel like I will survive all of this

> also....Thanks again...Sheri

>

> mary parker <mary6621@...> wrote:

> Dont feel alone. I am right there with you.These

> illnesses have really been

> wreaking havoc with my emotions this week. ITs

> awful. I know how you fell. I

> saw my mom in 1997 and then i was diagnosed with

> lupus and i havent been

> home since. They changed it to ra and fms but it

> doesnt make a difference. I

> have to go home this year and just suffer through

> it. Its hard to sit by and

> watch others do stuff you want to do and hard not to

> be able to work and

> worry about an income if Unum cuts me off before ss

> gets approved.

>

> in ORlando

>

>

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

> MSN 8 helps eliminate e-mail viruses. Get 2 months

> FREE*.

> http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean, by what is he really running away from. I remember being

my sons age and I had everything that my parents could give me too. But as soon

as I had to go out and do it on my own, I felt like a bomb had been dropped on

my world. I talked with my father in California last night and told him that my

son has decided that a plane ticket may not be his answer, he has decided to

ignore me for the last few days, he is upset that I did not wire him money to

get his own place. I totally agree with you, that mom is not the bank, and I

know in my heart that he is going thru some really difficult times as a teen,

but it has really hurt me to think that tough love has made me sit and wonder

when he will call me again. My husband and father say he is just being a typical

17 year old boy, but that still does not make my heart hurt any less. I thank

everyone for having a shoulder to cry on here at this sight, it is thru talking

about it, that I seem to find the answers. Emotionally, I have been through the

worst 3 months of my life, being diagnosed with the lupus and arthritis, trying

to keep my head emotionally in the game with my marriage, and now with my son. I

know in time that it will all get easier, it just seems that right now, it is

all hitting me at once. My outlook on things at times seems to be really out of

sorts, and it is hard for me to talk to my family or husband, as I feel like I

have been so unlike myself lately, and it is all I can bare to see them look at

me with that confused look on their faces, I feel like they are as confused as I

am. I try everyday to get a handle on things, and just when things seem half

right, I either flare or am confronted with a new obstacle. I really don't know

what the answers are that they all want to hear, but I am starting to realize

that the answer lies somewhere inside of me, I just have to find it first....It

is a blessing to have you all, and I know that anytime I can get on this

computer, and not one of you will be confused about what I am trying to say,

because alot of you have been there at one time or another. Thank you for caring

enough to listen, and help me thru this time, it really does mean the world to

me....Sheri

S Lang <sandmb91@...> wrote:Dear Sheri,

Very strange I feel as if I am writing to myself, in

more than one way.

Sending him a ticket is fine, but you need to set the

rules down from day one. My daughter now 11 lives 3.5

days a week with dad (who purchases the world for her,

and has no rules). Once she enters my house for 3.5

days, that first day is hard but she knows the rules.

And your son will change his ways or not, but mom

isn't the bank down the street.

When I hear of children moving from one parent to the

other I always ask what are they running away from.

If that problem isn't solved it just goes with them.

But, rules may work, and never forget you have all of

us, and he will have to understand there are times you

will have good days and not so good. As I told my

child I didn't ask for any of this, it just is. We

can complain about it or move forward getting done

what ever we can.

I hope I am making sense, I think I am losing myself

here!!

You know love and prayers are always here for you,

Sheri

--- sheri duke <sheriduke@...> wrote:

> : I don't feel alone when I read e-mails like

> the one you wrote. You all make it bearable to deal

> with all the emotions and physical changes that come

> along with the lupus and arthritis. Before I found

> this web site I thought that there could be no one

> else in this world that could possibly help me face

> all this. I have a 17 year old son, who has been

> living with his father in California, where he was

> raised, as well as I. He has decided to be a typical

> teenager this last year and has been failing to

> finish school, and tells his dad everyday that he

> wants to move out. My son called me a few times this

> week wanting money, I am sure to run away from his

> fathers home. My husband and I have decided to send

> him a ticket to Florida and will try to repair what

> we already know is probably impossible. It has been

> a few years since he has lived with me, and it broke

> my heart when he wanted to live with his father in

> California. There was not a day that went by, that I

> didn't dream of him wanting to come home. Now it's

> here, and I am scared to death, I was not sick when

> he moved , and now I am. It has been so much to

> handle learning of my illnesses, and have just now

> begun to realize the impact of living with them. I

> like you said have realized that the worries of

> income and not being able to work, could drive

> anyone insane, yet I knew that my husband and I

> would do fine, somehow with all the medical cost and

> medications, but a 17 year old, how much does that

> cost? Ha..Ha.. I thank you for being so honest about

> your experiences, and letting me know I am not

> alone. It really does make a world of difference to

> me, I feel like I will survive all of this

> also....Thanks again...Sheri

>

> mary parker <mary6621@...> wrote:

> Dont feel alone. I am right there with you.These

> illnesses have really been

> wreaking havoc with my emotions this week. ITs

> awful. I know how you fell. I

> saw my mom in 1997 and then i was diagnosed with

> lupus and i havent been

> home since. They changed it to ra and fms but it

> doesnt make a difference. I

> have to go home this year and just suffer through

> it. Its hard to sit by and

> watch others do stuff you want to do and hard not to

> be able to work and

> worry about an income if Unum cuts me off before ss

> gets approved.

>

> in ORlando

>

>

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

> MSN 8 helps eliminate e-mail viruses. Get 2 months

> FREE*.

> http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sheri,

Sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed. It's not surprising - you've got

a lot going on.

I'll hope that your son comes around soon. I believe in tough love, too.

I bet your family is at a loss about what to say or do for you. This

will be a big period of adjustment for you all. Just try to keep

communicating.

Things must be very hard for you right now, but I'm glad you think there

will be better days ahead. That's the right attitude!

Re: [ ] re:cant travel anymore-Sheri D

> I know what you mean, by what is he really running away from. I

remember being my sons age and I had everything that my parents could

give me too. But as soon as I had to go out and do it on my own, I felt

like a bomb had been dropped on my world. I talked with my father in

California last night and told him that my son has decided that a plane

ticket may not be his answer, he has decided to ignore me for the last

few days, he is upset that I did not wire him money to get his own

place. I totally agree with you, that mom is not the bank, and I know in

my heart that he is going thru some really difficult times as a teen,

but it has really hurt me to think that tough love has made me sit and

wonder when he will call me again. My husband and father say he is just

being a typical 17 year old boy, but that still does not make my heart

hurt any less. I thank everyone for having a shoulder to cry on here at

this sight, it is thru talking about it, that I seem to find the

answers. Emotionally, I have been through the worst 3 months of my

life, being diagnosed with the lupus and arthritis, trying to keep my

head emotionally in the game with my marriage, and now with my son. I

know in time that it will all get easier, it just seems that right now,

it is all hitting me at once. My outlook on things at times seems to be

really out of sorts, and it is hard for me to talk to my family or

husband, as I feel like I have been so unlike myself lately, and it is

all I can bare to see them look at me with that confused look on their

faces, I feel like they are as confused as I am. I try everyday to get a

handle on things, and just when things seem half right, I either flare

or am confronted with a new obstacle. I really don't know what the

answers are that they all want to hear, but I am starting to realize

that the answer lies somewhere inside of me, I just have to find it

first....It is a blessing to have you all, and I know that anytime I can

get on this computer, and not one of you will be confused about what I

am trying to say, because alot of you have been there at one time or

another. Thank you for caring enough to listen, and help me thru this

time, it really does mean the world to me....Sheri