Rather feel pain than nothing at all

[Guest guest]

We keep talking about a lack of sex and a lack of pleasure.. But pssd for me is

so much more than that. I wonder if anyone here can relate. My life became one

long mundane monotonous boring journey. I'm emotionally detached. Actually I'm

emotionally dead. It's not only about sexual pleasure, I never want a person the

way I wanted oys before prozac. My oxytocin or whatever the cuddle hormone is

called- is gone. I'm so numb, I can't even relate to pain. I don't feel.

Anything. All I know about emotions, is a memory of how I used to be. No pain,

no pleasure. I can't cry. I wish I could. In a way things are more convenient

because I have no emotions holding me back, but at the same time everything is

pointless. I want to feel. Alive. I'm just existing. I want more than that. I

want to be able to love. and I can't. The thoughts are there, but no feeling. I

miss the rush, I miss getting butterflies when walking past my crush. I miss

being alive. I'd thought about killing myself, but what's the point? I'm fucking

dead already!! I need sex. I need life. I need pain, I need pleasure. I want to

be able to love and hate and FEEL. I'm want to be the caring loving person I

used to be. Sorry I'm just ranting, I don't do that a lot. But right now, I'm

willing to do anything to put those shattered pieces of sanity back together. I

really would. I don't want to survive, I don't want to just exist. I WANT TO

LIVE.

Anybody relate?

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

[Guest guest]

I feel exactly the same:( it really is a terrible hell. I wish there was hope.

Maybe a miracle will come to pass.

Rather feel pain than nothing at all

We keep talking about a lack of sex and a lack of pleasure.. But pssd for me is

so much more than that. I wonder if anyone here can relate. My life became one

long mundane monotonous boring journey. I'm emotionally detached. Actually I'm

emotionally dead. It's not only about sexual pleasure, I never want a person the

way I wanted oys before prozac. My oxytocin or whatever the cuddle hormone is

called- is gone. I'm so numb, I can't even relate to pain. I don't feel.

Anything. All I know about emotions, is a memory of how I used to be. No pain,

no pleasure. I can't cry. I wish I could. In a way things are more convenient

because I have no emotions holding me back, but at the same time everything is

pointless. I want to feel. Alive. I'm just existing. I want more than that. I

want to be able to love. and I can't. The thoughts are there, but no feeling. I

miss the rush, I miss getting butterflies when walking past my crush. I miss

being alive. I'd thought about killing myself, b

ut what's the point? I'm fucking dead already!! I need sex. I need life. I need

pain, I need pleasure. I want to be able to love and hate and FEEL. I'm want to

be the caring loving person I used to be. Sorry I'm just ranting, I don't do

that a lot. But right now, I'm willing to do anything to put those shattered

pieces of sanity back together. I really would. I don't want to survive, I don't

want to just exist. I WANT TO LIVE.

Anybody relate?

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

------------------------------------

This group is for support, discussion, or educational purposes only. It does

not provide psychiatric or medical care. All medications and supplements should

be taken under a doctor's supervision.

[Guest guest]

You're describing exactly the situation I'm in. The only advantage is that my anxiety is gone (the reason why I took those meds for 4 years). But together with that all my other feelings too! Friendly, loving words or hugs don't affect me at all. I'm not even happy to see someone anymore, it never 'clicks' with someone new like it used to sometimes, so I'm not able to make friends anymore and I stay at home. I really feel as if I lost my personality, I can't laugh and don't have any sense of humour anymore. I exist, that's all. My brain must be severely damaged, since I'm not able to have interesting conversations like I used to have sometimes, have nothing to say to people and I also forget everything! My memory is really bad and I think slower than I used to. The sex issues also bother me off course, but the worst part is indeed the lack of meaning my life has. Inside I'm empty and hollow, there's no feeling in my stomache. No warm feeling when someone says something nice to me, no desire, no joy when it's sunny and I'm on holiday... I also thought about killing myself but in a way, I want to know what my life will be like if I stay around, you know? Sometimes I try to think that it's destiny, but then again it can just be the fact that I made the wrong choice by taking those pills, so rather just bad luck. What's really weird is that even alcohol doesn't affect me anymore: I never get tipsy or drunk, no matter how much I drink. It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced this hell. I'm glad there's someone here who can understand. I hope one day you'll get better 'cgl1291' and don't give up hope, I try to do the same...

Ciska

> To: SSRIsex > Date: Sun, 29 May 2011 20:28:33 +0000> Subject: Rather feel pain than nothing at all> > We keep talking about a lack of sex and a lack of pleasure.. But pssd for me is so much more than that. I wonder if anyone here can relate. My life became one long mundane monotonous boring journey. I'm emotionally detached. Actually I'm emotionally dead. It's not only about sexual pleasure, I never want a person the way I wanted oys before prozac. My oxytocin or whatever the cuddle hormone is called- is gone. I'm so numb, I can't even relate to pain. I don't feel. Anything. All I know about emotions, is a memory of how I used to be. No pain, no pleasure. I can't cry. I wish I could. In a way things are more convenient because I have no emotions holding me back, but at the same time everything is pointless. I want to feel. Alive. I'm just existing. I want more than that. I want to be able to love. and I can't. The thoughts are there, but no feeling. I miss the rush, I miss getting butterflies when walking past my crush. I miss being alive. I'd thought about killing myself, but what's the point? I'm fucking dead already!! I need sex. I need life. I need pain, I need pleasure. I want to be able to love and hate and FEEL. I'm want to be the caring loving person I used to be. Sorry I'm just ranting, I don't do that a lot. But right now, I'm willing to do anything to put those shattered pieces of sanity back together. I really would. I don't want to survive, I don't want to just exist. I WANT TO LIVE. > Anybody relate? > Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®> > ------------------------------------> > This group is for support, discussion, or educational purposes only. It does not provide psychiatric or medical care. All medications and supplements should be taken under a doctor's supervision.

[Guest guest]

I totally understand you and wrote my father a letter nearly identical to yours.

Ppl who have never exp. Our emotional flattening just dont understand. The

apathy and indifference to life i feel is unbearable. Ive even withdrawn from my

friends and fam bc i just cant empathize with them emotionally, im dead inside.

Hooked back up with my h.s. Sweetheart via fb aftr 8yrs but i feel nothing, shes

says in cold and detached, diff now. I tried 2explain but she doesnt undrstand

or believe me. Sex is but a physical act, she told me she was pregnant and i

felt nothing, she told me she miscarried and i felt nothing. Saw my mom and bros

aftr not seeing them n yrs, i cud feel nothing. I took zoloft and cymbalta for

yrs and it ruined my life. Dnt wanna die but i dnt care 2live, its hard but i

kno suicide isnt the answer. I cant cry, feel angry, sad, happy, anything. I

just exist and love from day 2 day. havnt taken a pill since 08 yet the sexual

and emotional side

effects linger. I pray 2god and hope that 1day ill b norm

>We keep talking about a lack of sex and a lack of pleasure.. But pssd for me is

so much more than that. I wonder if anyone here can relate. My life became one

long mundane monotonous boring journey. I'm emotionally detached. Actually I'm

emotionally dead. It's not only about sexual pleasure, I never want a person the

way I wanted oys before prozac. My oxytocin or whatever the cuddle hormone is

called- is gone. I'm so numb, I can't even relate to pain. I don't feel.

Anything. All I know about emotions, is a memory of how I used to be. No pain,

no pleasure. I can't cry. I wish I could. In a way things are more convenient

because I have no emotions holding me back, but at the same time everything is

pointless. I want to feel. Alive. I'm just existing. I want more than that. I

want to be able to love. and I can't. The thoughts are there, but no feeling. I

miss the rush, I miss getting butterflies when walking past my crush. I miss

being alive. I'd thought

about killing myself, but what's the point? I'm fucking dead already!! I need

sex. I need life. I need pain, I need pleasure. I want to be able to love and

hate and FEEL. I'm want to be the caring loving person I used to be. Sorry I'm

just ranting, I don't do that a lot. But right now, I'm willing to do anything

to put those shattered pieces of sanity back together. I really would. I don't

want to survive, I don't want to just exist. I WANT TO LIVE.

>Anybody relate?

>Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

>

>------------------------------------

>

>This group is for support, discussion, or educational purposes only. It does

not provide psychiatric or medical care. All medications and supplements should

be taken under a doctor's supervision.

[Guest guest]

i totally relate to what you are saying. i'm in the same boat as you are. i'm

dead already no emotions at all. i think about killing myself a lot but i'm

missing the negative emotions to do it. i don't just want to exist i want to

live, i want my life back. i'm 32 and stuck in this hell for nearly 2 years now.

my life just had started, but now its already over. i can't belive how damaged i

am, i see myself as handicapped but nobody understands it. i miss my old life. i

could slap me in the face for taking effexor for panic attacks. but how could i

have known? am i'm the one to blame? who is to blame? nobody knows about this. i

want my life back. go back to 2006 and handle my panic attacks on my own. i wish

i never would have gone to the doctor. but what can you do?

>

> We keep talking about a lack of sex and a lack of pleasure.. But pssd for me

is so much more than that. I wonder if anyone here can relate. My life became

one long mundane monotonous boring journey. I'm emotionally detached. Actually

I'm emotionally dead. It's not only about sexual pleasure, I never want a person

the way I wanted oys before prozac. My oxytocin or whatever the cuddle hormone

is called- is gone. I'm so numb, I can't even relate to pain. I don't feel.

Anything. All I know about emotions, is a memory of how I used to be. No pain,

no pleasure. I can't cry. I wish I could. In a way things are more convenient

because I have no emotions holding me back, but at the same time everything is

pointless. I want to feel. Alive. I'm just existing. I want more than that. I

want to be able to love. and I can't. The thoughts are there, but no feeling. I

miss the rush, I miss getting butterflies when walking past my crush. I miss

being alive. I'd thought about killing myself, but what's the point? I'm fucking

dead already!! I need sex. I need life. I need pain, I need pleasure. I want to

be able to love and hate and FEEL. I'm want to be the caring loving person I

used to be. Sorry I'm just ranting, I don't do that a lot. But right now, I'm

willing to do anything to put those shattered pieces of sanity back together. I

really would. I don't want to survive, I don't want to just exist. I WANT TO

LIVE.

> Anybody relate?

> Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

>

[Guest guest]

Boy can I ever relate.

I don't feel like I can accurately describe my experience over the past 4 years.

It's been up and down and all around. Fortunately my emotional

detachment/numbness improved considerably once I started taking fish oil.

For me, in spite of my inability to feel true joy, I could experience extreme

negative emotions. I felt like a crazy person. Little things would set me off

like mad. I would try to control it and I could control it to a point, but it

was like a tea kettle effect of boiling over. The more I tried to keep my cool,

the more I eventually blew my top. This also disappeared once starting fish

oil. Which gives me peace of mind now - in that I now see that all the extreme

negativity and crazy fits of rage I experienced I now know were because of the

damage done to my brain.

Unfortunately, I still suffer from PMS symptoms of extremely negative thoughts

just for a few days out of the month. That's when all my optimistic thinking

goes out the window and I suffer from emotional pain that is unbearable at

times.

This (my own experience and reading about everyone else's horrible experiences)

is why I so desperately want a class action law suit, I just don't know how to

begin to go about it, and I am so embarrassed to initiate the process, but I

still continue to think about it and hope that one day I will just say " what the

hell... " and actually do something.

We all deserve for this hell to be over and for it to be common knowledge that

PSSD is a real condition that everyone should be warned of before considering

going on anti depressants. Furthermore, antidepressants and all other

medications which even have a slight risk of sexual dysfunction should come with

a black box warning. I strongly feel that this is a hidden epidemic much more

far reaching than indicated by the few studies that have taken place.

>

> We keep talking about a lack of sex and a lack of pleasure.. But pssd for me

is so much more than that. I wonder if anyone here can relate. My life became

one long mundane monotonous boring journey. I'm emotionally detached. Actually

I'm emotionally dead. It's not only about sexual pleasure, I never want a person

the way I wanted oys before prozac. My oxytocin or whatever the cuddle hormone

is called- is gone. I'm so numb, I can't even relate to pain. I don't feel.

Anything. All I know about emotions, is a memory of how I used to be. No pain,

no pleasure. I can't cry. I wish I could. In a way things are more convenient

because I have no emotions holding me back, but at the same time everything is

pointless. I want to feel. Alive. I'm just existing. I want more than that. I

want to be able to love. and I can't. The thoughts are there, but no feeling. I

miss the rush, I miss getting butterflies when walking past my crush. I miss

being alive. I'd thought about killing myself, but what's the point? I'm fucking

dead already!! I need sex. I need life. I need pain, I need pleasure. I want to

be able to love and hate and FEEL. I'm want to be the caring loving person I

used to be. Sorry I'm just ranting, I don't do that a lot. But right now, I'm

willing to do anything to put those shattered pieces of sanity back together. I

really would. I don't want to survive, I don't want to just exist. I WANT TO

LIVE.

> Anybody relate?

> Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

>