Re: Breastfeeding Support Groups Conflicts

[Guest guest]

Can you present it as " more than " rather than " instead of " ?Like, " Oh, yes, that's one way that works for some moms.  How's that going?  Well, here's something else that you might try: "

I often remind moms that this is an art rather than a science, and sometimes it takes trying ten different suggestions before finding the magic bullet.  IIRC, it's Dee who has mentioned the speech about different care providers going to different conferences and reading different books, so you keep trying until you find the person who has the needed information/technique.

Lynn in MO

 

I have a weekly free breastfeeding support group. Sometimes they are clients of mine but it is not restricted to clients of mine. How do you manage it when you see a mother in your group and you have a different approach to handling a breastfeeding issue other than the LC she is seeing for care? I don't want to cross-board (I wouldn't want it done to me) but I have a hard time holding back advice that I think would be really useful. How do I maintain a professional relationship with another IBCLC and provide my services at a community support group at the same time?

[Guest guest]

Have you tried: "Many mothers find..."? It's not flat-out contradicting the other IBCLC, just suggesting that there is more than one way to approach a problem. Gently puts forth the idea that if one way isn't working, maybe she wants to try another idea. After all, at LLL meetings mothers share a number of different ideas to any given mother's question. As a new mom, I actually appreciated going home with a number of different ideas for how to help my eternally-screaming baby. Some of the ideas worked and some didn't, but it was a relief to have some new ideas to try. I didn't mind at all hearing more than one idea for how to approach the problem.

Dee Kassing

I have a weekly free breastfeeding support group. Sometimes they are clients of mine but it is not restricted to clients of mine. How do you manage it when you see a mother in your group and you have a different approach to handling a breastfeeding issue other than the LC she is seeing for care? I don't want to cross-board (I wouldn't want it done to me) but I have a hard time holding back advice that I think would be really useful. How do I maintain a professional relationship with another IBCLC and provide my services at a community support group at the same time?

[Guest guest]

Have the same issues and often let the mom-to-mom participant format lead the way as to what others have tried. Ask what others in the group have tired in managing the issue and a mom in the group usually can address what my recommendations might have been. Summarize/recap that there are many ways to deal with the same issue and what worked yesterday may not be the answer today. Do emphasize that, especially with newborns, plans to address any breastfeeding issues can change quickly. I always reinforce that when seen for any issue, the LC and mom developed a working plan to manage the issue at that time. From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of DanaSent: Saturday, April 28, 2012 2:38 PMTo: Subject: Breastfeeding Support Groups Conflicts I have a weekly free breastfeeding support group. Sometimes they are clients of mine but it is not restricted to clients of mine. How do you manage it when you see a mother in your group and you have a different approach to handling a breastfeeding issue other than the LC she is seeing for care? I don't want to cross-board (I wouldn't want it done to me) but I have a hard time holding back advice that I think would be really useful. How do I maintain a professional relationship with another IBCLC and provide my services at a community support group at the same time?

[Guest guest]

We see women at different stages in breastfeeding, so I always say I'm looking

at you and your baby in a different phase now and so we might need to shift to

trying something more appropriate for this phase.

Best regards,

E. Burger, MHS, PhD, IBCLC

[Guest guest]

I also try to ask who she has been working with and make a positive statement

about that LCs skills experience even if I don't know her well. What I do want

is to validate the mother's choice in care provider, which goes towards building

trust between her and me so she doesn't feel that everyone is saying something

different!

Lea

[Guest guest]

I feel like I am on the family feud, Yay Great Answer! It could be a totally different issue in just a few days.

Lou Moramarco IBCLC

Birth, Breastfeeding & Before

International Board Certified Lactation Consultant

Bradley Childbirth Educator

Certified Birth Doula

marylou22@...

www.lunadoula.com

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From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of BurgerSent: Sunday, April 29, 2012 7:53 AMTo: Subject: Re: Breastfeeding Support Groups Conflicts

We see women at different stages in breastfeeding, so I always say I'm looking at you and your baby in a different phase now and so we might need to shift to trying something more appropriate for this phase.Best regards, E. Burger, MHS, PhD, IBCLC

[Guest guest]

Mothers typically don't like it when you ask who they've seen before.

sburgernutr@...

[Guest guest]

Interesting, maybe it is the way I ask? I have never gotten that kind of

response. Most seem pleased that I am supporting their previous decisions and

getting as much information as possible to support their next decisions.

Lea

>

> Mothers typically don't like it when you ask who they've seen before.

>

>

> sburgernutr@...

>

[Guest guest]

My experience is more like Lea's.  I phrase it as " Who else has helped you or answered your questions about breastfeeding? " and they just give me a straight answer.Lynn in MO

 

Interesting, maybe it is the way I ask? I have never gotten that kind of response. Most seem pleased that I am supporting their previous decisions and getting as much information as possible to support their next decisions.

Lea

>

> Mothers typically don't like it when you ask who they've seen before.

>

>

> sburgernutr@...

>

[Guest guest]

I've never gotten that response either. My clients like that I know the other professionals in the area. Beebe, M.Ed., RLC, IBCLC Lactation Consultant/Postpartum Doula www.second9months.comwww.facebook.com/thesecond9months--- From: lrt525

Subject: Re: Breastfeeding Support Groups ConflictsTo: Date: Tuesday, May 1, 2012, 9:19 AM

Interesting, maybe it is the way I ask? I have never gotten that kind of response. Most seem pleased that I am supporting their previous decisions and getting as much information as possible to support their next decisions.

Lea

>

> Mothers typically don't like it when you ask who they've seen before.

>

>

> sburgernutr@...

>

[Guest guest]

Moms never tell the person who asks them who they saw before. When I've asked

it I get the same nice response. What I find is it is like pediatricians who

tell mothers to sleep train their babies -- now I'm hearing at two weeks. They

don't tell the pediatrician that they can't implement the advice. They then go

somewhere else and whisper about it to their friends or yet ANOTHER lactation

consultant. That is where I hear them complain.

So I know that even if they NEVER complain to me, they MIGHT be complaining to

someone else that I asked. Most postpartum moms are not confrontational and

won't react in the moment. Do we really need to know WHO gave the advice?

especially when they may have heard it in a different way? I've also sat with my

mentors and listened to exactly what my mentors said to a client when I was in

training. Then I've come back and heard what they attributed to my mentors and

it was often something someone ELSE said. You don't need to track down WHO said

it.

On the other hand, working in this field now for 13 years, I have to say that

there are instances where the complaints are so frequent and so consistent and

the mothers ON THEIR OWN mention the name so often, that you know something is

off with a particular person.

sburgernutr@...

[Guest guest]

Why aren't LCs sharing client records with one another like any other

specialist? My son recently had a serious ankle fracture and I sought out 2

opinions. The first physician readily handed me his assessment and

recommendations and I took that with me to the second physician along with the

films, and I told number 1 I was doing so and he said, 'Great, I understand'.

Everyone was collaborative. It doesn't happen often but when I sense a family is

interested in seeking other input I try to collaborate with them to identify

someone who may have the specialized skills they are seeking or who may be a

good fit for them, and I have never met this with a resistant attitude.

I think if we started working more collaboratively and could access one

another's chart notes when we take on a referral we could serve our patient's

better.

>

> Moms never tell the person who asks them who they saw before. When I've asked

it I get the same nice response. What I find is it is like pediatricians who

tell mothers to sleep train their babies -- now I'm hearing at two weeks. They

don't tell the pediatrician that they can't implement the advice. They then go

somewhere else and whisper about it to their friends or yet ANOTHER lactation

consultant. That is where I hear them complain.

>

> So I know that even if they NEVER complain to me, they MIGHT be complaining to

someone else that I asked. Most postpartum moms are not confrontational and

won't react in the moment. Do we really need to know WHO gave the advice?

especially when they may have heard it in a different way? I've also sat with my

mentors and listened to exactly what my mentors said to a client when I was in

training. Then I've come back and heard what they attributed to my mentors and

it was often something someone ELSE said. You don't need to track down WHO said

it.

>

> On the other hand, working in this field now for 13 years, I have to say that

there are instances where the complaints are so frequent and so consistent and

the mothers ON THEIR OWN mention the name so often, that you know something is

off with a particular person.

>

>

>

> sburgernutr@...

>

[Guest guest]

I think you are bringing up a fantastic point.Maybe we are to competitive? Billowitz, IBCLCIsrael From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of popikinsSent: Thursday, May 03, 2012 6:06 AMTo: Subject: Re: Breastfeeding Support Groups Conflicts Why aren't LCs sharing client records with one another like any other specialist? My son recently had a serious ankle fracture and I sought out 2 opinions. The first physician readily handed me his assessment and recommendations and I took that with me to the second physician along with the films, and I told number 1 I was doing so and he said, 'Great, I understand'.Everyone was collaborative. It doesn't happen often but when I sense a family is interested in seeking other input I try to collaborate with them to identify someone who may have the specialized skills they are seeking or who may be a good fit for them, and I have never met this with a resistant attitude. I think if we started working more collaboratively and could access one another's chart notes when we take on a referral we could serve our patient's better. >> Moms never tell the person who asks them who they saw before. When I've asked it I get the same nice response. What I find is it is like pediatricians who tell mothers to sleep train their babies -- now I'm hearing at two weeks. They don't tell the pediatrician that they can't implement the advice. They then go somewhere else and whisper about it to their friends or yet ANOTHER lactation consultant. That is where I hear them complain. > > So I know that even if they NEVER complain to me, they MIGHT be complaining to someone else that I asked. Most postpartum moms are not confrontational and won't react in the moment. Do we really need to know WHO gave the advice? especially when they may have heard it in a different way? I've also sat with my mentors and listened to exactly what my mentors said to a client when I was in training. Then I've come back and heard what they attributed to my mentors and it was often something someone ELSE said. You don't need to track down WHO said it. > > On the other hand, working in this field now for 13 years, I have to say that there are instances where the complaints are so frequent and so consistent and the mothers ON THEIR OWN mention the name so often, that you know something is off with a particular person. > > > > sburgernutr@...>__________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus signature database 7105 (20120502) __________The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.http://www.eset.com

[Guest guest]

I feel that in our city we have very collaborative groups and LC's.

We have a Private Practice group and we share ideas, information, resources and new techniques readily with each other.

I really appreciate this as it strengthens our knowledge and profession as a whole.

I am always happy to share and to learn.

lie Sarasua IBCLC, LLLCLMontreal, Canada