Re: Re: Breastfeeding In Public

[Guest guest]

Those of you who know me know that I have a real problem with those covers - I will include my essay at the end of this in case anyone wants to read it.I was contacted by a mom after I had written my essay - she was told not to breastfeed at her daughters school - I had been through this as well - but the sad part of her story is that her second baby was nursing under a cover and went into cardiac arrest and she did not see her and the baby died. This broke my heart but made me even angrier about those covers. Babies need to not be separated from their moms - these covers create a barrier - and an unsafe one at that.I do not need to preach to the choir about the importance of nursing everywhere! Thank you Sharon for speaking to the press.

Leigh Anne O'Connor, IBCLCleighanne625@...www.leighanneoconnor.comwww.mamamilkandme.wordpress.com(917) 596-3646

Bye Bye Breast

BurkaLeigh Anne O’Connor, IBCLC,

a new mom, called me to discuss her milk supply. She was concerned with keeping

up the demand of her baby. Then she asked me other breastfeeding questions. She

was not sure how to nurse Sadie outside of her house. She thought it was

because she needed her “special pillow.” The truth is she doesn’t know how

because few women really breastfeed in public anymore.There was

an orangutan at a zoo in Boston. The zookeepers mated her and she became

pregnant. Ms. Orangutan had been raised in captivity. She had not lived among

sister orangutans so she did not know what to do with her baby when he was born

– the baby orangutan died. The second

time around the zookeepers asked volunteers from the local chapter of La Leche

League to nurse their babies in front of the primate. When the second baby was born the primate placed her baby in

her arms backwards but with some guidance from the staff quickly learned to

feed and care for her baby.This is

how we learn. We observe the behavior of others. When I was a pregnant with my

first baby I had met a few breastfeeding mothers along the way including my

sister-in-law. I took a breastfeeding class to learn as much as I could before

my baby arrived. When

Phoebe was born she was placed in my arms and we nursed for the first time for

about twenty minutes. And then we nursed

- a lot. I felt awkward. I fumbled to unlatch my nursing bras, some of

which were too big, some of which were too tight and one that broke. I bought

dowdy nursing clothes. I wore button shirts. I still felt awkward. Phoebe was

born on a hot summer day. I am a

gregarious person. I am best chatting with a group. As a new mother I felt

isolated. I hungered for company That

summer we had a few social events – a wedding, an engagement party – “showing

off our baby” weekends. I noticed that wherever I went the host always had a

“nice air conditioned room with a comfy chair” for me to go and nurse Phoebe.

And Phoebe nursed all the time. I was even isolated in my socialization. , my

brother’s wife had recommended attending a La Leche League meeting. The

meetings had been a great resource for her as a new mom. I found the meetings

helpful but even more important were the lunch dates after the meetings. Phoebe

and I joined other nursing moms monthly at the Thruway Diner. We always sat at

the big round table in the center of the bustling eatery. Six to ten moms and

their babies smack in the middle of business suits, ties, skirts and silk

blouses. This is

where I learned to nurse out and about with confidence. I watched the moms with

older babies. I saw unspoken communication between them. I saw how a baby might

start to wiggle a bit and like Houdini the mom had unhooked her bra, lifted her

shirt and latched the baby in seconds flat. It looked effortless and it also

looked like there was a baby in her arms – no breasts hanging out, no cover ups

– simply a babe in arms. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to feel that

assured. I wanted to look that smooth and at ease. As I expressed my envy at

their mastery they all assured me that they too had been awkward. They

encouraged me to nurse Phoebe in front of a mirror and I did. I grew confident

in my ability to nurse Phoebe whenever she needed. At the next social gathering Phoebe started rooting and I

said to Rob, “I am going to nurse her here.” He put his arm around me and kept

talking. From there I declined offers for the “air conditioned room with a

comfy chair.”I

eventually became a La Leche League leader and then lactation consultant. I gave

birth to two more children. I nursed them all over the place: the bus, the

subway, Saks, & Noble, fancy restaurants, diners. Usually no one except other mother’s

knew I was nursing. I was not hiding behind anything just nursing my babies. When my

youngest child, Finn, was about 6 months old I was at the pediatrician’s office

for a well check up. In the waiting area were two new moms discussing a new

product they had just discovered – “The Hooter Hider” one of them said in an

embarrassed giggle. Then I started seeing breastfeeding covers everywhere. This

was the antithesis of the Thruway Diner experience. A baby begins to fuss, the

mother searches her bag for the cover, the baby fusses more, the mother opens

the cover, ties it around her, by now the baby is wailing, the mom fumbles with

the cover and the baby, the baby kicks about, perhaps not wishing to be under a

tent. Now everyone knows what is going on under the fabric.How challenging

this makes everything. Breastfeeding by its very nature is designed to be

simple. We have complicated it. We have made it shameful and difficult. Like the orangutan new moms today have

no real life positive breastfeeding images. , another

new mom, asked me a question about nursing in public. I asked her, “ Do you

have any friends who are breastfeeding?”“Yes,” she

replied.“So go

hang out with them, learn from them,” I offered.“They use

a cover or expressed milk in a bottle.” she answered.“Go to the

thruway diner!!!” I want to scream. But that was another time, another place. I walk

down the street and look into the windows of ’s Secret, American

Apparel and Abercrombie + Fitch – this is our provocative world yet we must put

a tent around us to feed our babies? We flaunt our breasts to sell products. Breasts

are sexy - until they become functional. Then we hide them. A few

years ago I could spot a breastfeeding mom because I had a keen eye and I had

been there. Nowadays anyone can tell a breastfeeding mom – she is the one

hiding behind the overpriced piece of calico.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing that Leigh Anne. I too detest those despicable covers. I watched my sister struggle with that darn thing. I had one too and after a 20 minute try out I tossed it in the nearest trash can. I rarely saw them until the past year. Now half the moms at our meeting have them. Makes me want to cry. Heinz, BA IBCLCBeach Babies Lactation Support, LLC Sender: Date: Thu, 29 Dec 2011 21:51:44 -0500To: < >ReplyTo: Subject: Re: Re: Breastfeeding In Public Those of you who know me know that I have a real problem with those covers - I will include my essay at the end of this in case anyone wants to read it.I was contacted by a mom after I had written my essay - she was told not to breastfeed at her daughters school - I had been through this as well - but the sad part of her story is that her second baby was nursing under a cover and went into cardiac arrest and she did not see her and the baby died. This broke my heart but made me even angrier about those covers. Babies need to not be separated from their moms - these covers create a barrier - and an unsafe one at that.I do not need to preach to the choir about the importance of nursing everywhere! Thank you Sharon for speaking to the press. Leigh Anne O'Connor, IBCLCleighanne625@...www.leighanneoconnor.comwww.mamamilkandme.wordpress.com(917) 596-3646Bye Bye BreastBurkaLeigh Anne O’Connor, IBCLC,a new mom, called me to discuss her milk supply. She was concerned with keepingup the demand of her baby. Then she asked me other breastfeeding questions. Shewas not sure how to nurse Sadie outside of her house. She thought it wasbecause she needed her “special pillow.” The truth is she doesn’t know howbecause few women really breastfeed in public anymore.There wasan orangutan at a zoo in Boston. The zookeepers mated her and she becamepregnant. Ms. Orangutan had been raised in captivity. She had not lived amongsister orangutans so she did not know what to do with her baby when he was born– the baby orangutan died. The secondtime around the zookeepers asked volunteers from the local chapter of La LecheLeague to nurse their babies in front of the primate. When the second baby was born the primate placed her baby inher arms backwards but with some guidance from the staff quickly learned tofeed and care for her baby.This ishow we learn. We observe the behavior of others. When I was a pregnant with myfirst baby I had met a few breastfeeding mothers along the way including mysister-in-law. I took a breastfeeding class to learn as much as I could beforemy baby arrived. WhenPhoebe was born she was placed in my arms and we nursed for the first time forabout twenty minutes. And then we nursed - a lot. I felt awkward. I fumbled to unlatch my nursing bras, some ofwhich were too big, some of which were too tight and one that broke. I boughtdowdy nursing clothes. I wore button shirts. I still felt awkward. Phoebe wasborn on a hot summer day. I am agregarious person. I am best chatting with a group. As a new mother I feltisolated. I hungered for company Thatsummer we had a few social events – a wedding, an engagement party – “showingoff our baby” weekends. I noticed that wherever I went the host always had a“nice air conditioned room with a comfy chair” for me to go and nurse Phoebe.And Phoebe nursed all the time. I was even isolated in my socialization. , mybrother’s wife had recommended attending a La Leche League meeting. Themeetings had been a great resource for her as a new mom. I found the meetingshelpful but even more important were the lunch dates after the meetings. Phoebeand I joined other nursing moms monthly at the Thruway Diner. We always sat atthe big round table in the center of the bustling eatery. Six to ten moms andtheir babies smack in the middle of business suits, ties, skirts and silkblouses. This iswhere I learned to nurse out and about with confidence. I watched the moms witholder babies. I saw unspoken communication between them. I saw how a baby mightstart to wiggle a bit and like Houdini the mom had unhooked her bra, lifted hershirt and latched the baby in seconds flat. It looked effortless and it alsolooked like there was a baby in her arms – no breasts hanging out, no cover ups– simply a babe in arms. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to feel thatassured. I wanted to look that smooth and at ease. As I expressed my envy attheir mastery they all assured me that they too had been awkward. Theyencouraged me to nurse Phoebe in front of a mirror and I did. I grew confidentin my ability to nurse Phoebe whenever she needed. At the next social gathering Phoebe started rooting and Isaid to Rob, “I am going to nurse her here.” He put his arm around me and kepttalking. From there I declined offers for the “air conditioned room with acomfy chair.”Ieventually became a La Leche League leader and then lactation consultant. I gavebirth to two more children. I nursed them all over the place: the bus, thesubway, Saks, & Noble, fancy restaurants, diners. Usually no one except other mother’sknew I was nursing. I was not hiding behind anything just nursing my babies. When myyoungest child, Finn, was about 6 months old I was at the pediatrician’s officefor a well check up. In the waiting area were two new moms discussing a newproduct they had just discovered – “The Hooter Hider” one of them said in anembarrassed giggle. Then I started seeing breastfeeding covers everywhere. Thiswas the antithesis of the Thruway Diner experience. A baby begins to fuss, themother searches her bag for the cover, the baby fusses more, the mother opensthe cover, ties it around her, by now the baby is wailing, the mom fumbles withthe cover and the baby, the baby kicks about, perhaps not wishing to be under atent. Now everyone knows what is going on under the fabric.How challengingthis makes everything. Breastfeeding by its very nature is designed to besimple. We have complicated it. We have made it shameful and difficult. Like the orangutan new moms today haveno real life positive breastfeeding images. , anothernew mom, asked me a question about nursing in public. I asked her, “ Do youhave any friends who are breastfeeding?”“Yes,” shereplied.“So gohang out with them, learn from them,” I offered.“They usea cover or expressed milk in a bottle.” she answered.“Go to thethruway diner!!!” I want to scream. But that was another time, another place. I walkdown the street and look into the windows of ’s Secret, AmericanApparel and Abercrombie + Fitch – this is our provocative world yet we must puta tent around us to feed our babies? We flaunt our breasts to sell products. Breastsare sexy - until they become functional. Then we hide them. A fewyears ago I could spot a breastfeeding mom because I had a keen eye and I hadbeen there. Nowadays anyone can tell a breastfeeding mom – she is the onehiding behind the overpriced piece of calico.