1. Three Cheers For Fathers Who Make The Extra Effort/ Posts to Dad!

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FEAT DAILY NEWSLETTER Sacramento, California http://www.feat.org

" Healing Autism: No Finer a Cause on the Planet "

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June 17, 2001 Search www.feat.org/search/news.asp

Also: Mom, Kids Celebrate Fathers With Posts

Three Cheers For Fathers Who Make The Extra Effort/ Posts to Dad!

[by Sharon Hamric.]

http://web.wichitaeagle.com/content/wichitaeagle/2001/06/16/localnews/0616ha

mric_txt.htm

He's patient.

His hair is a little long.

He makes wonderful homemade soup.

He's a Wichita firefighter.

No matter how tired he is, he always takes time to listen and to play.

He's strong.

He brings his wife roses and fudge.

He understands a kid's point of view.

He never loses his temper with his three youngest children, all of

whom have autism.

That's how Brittany Curless, 12, describes the man she proudly calls

Dad.

" He's the best, " says Brittany, whose family lives in Whitewater.

" When they're all having tantrums, he calms them down instead of

yelling. Then he takes everybody out for ice cream. "

As the oldest child, Brittany has followed her parents' example in

dealing with Kaysha, 10, Nick, 7, and , 4.

For years, the Curlesses have been active in autism support and

research groups. They are not aware of another family with three autistic

children.

" It's hard enough being a father to four active children, but with our

kids' special needs, and with the extreme or unpredictable behavior ... you

wouldn't believe what Mark is able to put up with, " brags Donna, his wife.

Children with autism usually reject affection and prefer to be alone.

They have difficulty in communicating, interacting with others and

enjoying leisure and play activities.

Autism is a neurological disorder that affects the development and

functioning of the brain. The disease usually appears during the first three

years of life.

Mark has told Brittany that whatever else her younger siblings miss

out on because of autism, he will make sure they have joy.

" When kids have autism, their dreams aren't like other kids' dreams, "

Brittany explains.

" My dad would do anything, no matter how hard it is, to help all of

us. He says everybody's potential is different. "

Brittany was surprised to learn that not all kids grow up acting out

plays in the living room or singing -- loudly -- silly songs about spaghetti

and meatballs.

" My dad sees the fun in everything, " she says. " I think that's a good

lesson to learn, no matter how old you are. "

The older she gets, the more Brittany appreciates her father.

She was eager to respond when I asked her to add to her mom's letter

about the wonderful father who lived at their house.

Donna, 39, knew she'd found a gem when she met Mark on a blind date 15

years ago.

He was caring, funny, respectful and confident.

Her heart bounced up and down.

Her brain shouted, " WOW. "

She tried not to stare at his broad shoulders and muscular arms.

She knew he was special. At that time, she gave no thought about what

kind of father he might become.

" Mark stays calm and he does very little complaining, much less than

what I do, " Donna admits. " God only gives us what we can handle, and he knew

Mark was the dad our kids needed. "

No matter how bad things get, Mark responds with love and constructive

action. That's why his wife and oldest daughter thought his story should be

in the newspaper for Father's Day.

" When we got married, if we'd known every day would be so tough, who

knows what would have happened? " Donna asks.

" But we have grown together. It gets better and better. "

Not all of Brittany's friends look forward to being with their dads.

Brittany knows she has got it good. So do many of her seventh-grade

classmates at Remington Middle School.

Some dads don't listen.

Some dads don't drive their daughters and their friends to the movies

or to the mall and stay to chaperone.

Some dads don't laugh or sing or hug.

Here's thanks to the ones who do.

* * *

Posted Notes Honoring Dad on this Father’s day.

[Kleenex alert.]

Where could I possibly begin? You are such a pillar of strength for us

all--for me. Your unwavering faith has been a comfort, and at times,

painful, but always helpful. From the very first when I was crying after

you rescued us from a field trip gone bad, you had accepted our son's AS and

you never cared. While I was busy mourning my perceived loss, you gently

told me that I had no right to expect anything from any of our children.

You reminded me of my own conviction to love them just as they are....and

that even meant with AS. How you have done it, I can only guess. But I am

just so glad you do it. I am so grateful to know you. To share our life is

truly a dream come true...all of it....just as it is. Love, J

******

We want to thank our wonderful Dad who works hard each and every Day so that

our Mommy can stay home with and spend so much quality time with us. You

give Mommy too much credit, even though she does the advocating, we know you

are the one who provides for us and we love you for it! You're the best Dad

two special little guys could ever ask for! We also send a prayer to our

Pop-Pop in Heaven, our first Father's Day without him, he is now our

guardian angel above... Love-and-hugs always, Bernie and

******

Dear Dad, I know I give you a hard time every single day. You know I do not

know or understand the rules, but I am trying. I don't mean to hit, kick,

spit and throw things at you. I love my special Dad. Right now I do not

understand how much you sacrificed by giving up your career so that I would

not have to go to day care. You provide me with the much needed routine

every single day. It is so nice to see your smile when the school bus drops

me off. No one plays soccer or baseball with me the way you can. You always

let me win, but you teach me so much more. I am very lucky to have a Dad

like you. XXOO Garrett

******

Hey Dad, Man did you wait a long time to hear I LOVE YOU.....17 years in

fact! You must know how much I love you because you are always doing such

wonderful things to make my life better. It didn't matter to you that I

couldn't go fishing with you or play basketball with you because you came

into my world. You have always made sure that my world is acceptable to

you- we have learned about each other's soul through no words...since I

can't speak dad my eyes and face tell my needs. How do you know that

without me saying a word? You are a very kind soul dad and I love the time

we spend together. I could live with you in Montana and become a mountain

man enjoying the simplier quieter life you have offered me. Happy Father's

Day Love Louie

******

Dear Dad, Thank you for playing motorcycle with me, for doing big bounces

(aka: super turbo bounces), for being a great elephant audience while I do

my circus climbing stunts, for letting me drive the car (in your lap), and

for believing that I am the best kid in the world. I love you more than

words could ever tell. Drew

******

Some men live lives of quiet desperation.

Some men live lives of quiet heroism.

These are some of the current and former quiet heroes who are the fathers of

The Families of Early Autism Treatment (FEAT) and in Northern California

Steve Arita

Chuck Gardner

Gordon Hall

Rick

Bruce Kaminski

Steve Koyasako

McIntire

Dave Merwin

Bret Pearce

Rick Rollens

And many others...

Fatherhood is well defined by good men such as these.

******

Daddy, If I could talk I'd tell you so many things, but mom knows whats in

my heart so she will share my thoughts with you on this special day!! I call

you " cookie " because you are so sweet to me and it's also a lot easier to

say than " daddy " !! You are a special daddy because you love me just the way

I am, even though I am different...........I love you because you love the

crazy things I do and say and I love making you laugh. I love you because

through it all you have been so patient and loving and kind to me even

though I have tested your patience to the limit. I want to thank you for all

your kisses and hugs and for teaching me special words to say that only we

can share. Thank you for helping me everyday with those things that most

people can do easily but that I always need help with. I love being with

you daddy and when you are gone I miss you so much and it makes me sad. You

are a part of me daddy and you are the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love, Your

little girl that loves you so much!!!!!!!!!!! Abby

******

To 's Father, You are a truly special man. I never have

to doubt your love for our blessed

little daughter. You keep me strong with your hope and when I'm feeling

down, you always find the kind words to pick me up. is blessed to

have you as her father. She loves you beyond words and if she could talk

I'm sure she would say " Daddy, I Love You! " . Happy Father's Day!

Love, Theresa

******

There is a man

There is a man who is up at dawn,

There is a man who is like a song,

Through long and nice talks he helps us learn,

That trust is not bought, but something you earn.

There is a man who likes to help others.

There is a man whose friends are like brothers.

There is a man who wipes my tears.

There is a man who has no fears.

There is a man whom I admire most.

There is a man who does not hate and does not boast.

This special man I really know,

He is my father, Bono. By: and Dillan Bono

******

To 's Grandpa, Tata Cano

Words cannot express the joy and happiness I feel inside watching you and

play together. You have given her a beautiful gift with the special

bond you share with her. Happy Father's Day Dad!

Love, Theresa

******

Bob -- If I have to go through Hell, I'm glad that you are the one I'm going

through it with! You are a great Dad and I am eternally grateful that I can

co-parent with you. -Love and mushy stuff, Marla

******

Dear Dad, I love you so much but sometimes you have to go on business trips.

I'll give you flowers and you also love me. Hancock SLH/sh

******

, You are just the father I always prayed my children would have.

Having as our child has brought out the very best in you. There is no

way I can measure all the love and admiration I have for you. I thank God

for you Daily! I love you,

******

I am a father of an autistic child! My little guy is four years old and I

love him more than life itself. All of this I could not do if my dad didn't

teach me what love is. It's funny how you grow up and become your parents. I

was kind of my dad's favorite, out of six kids. He would always be playing

with my ear lobs, between the middle finger and the pointer. Think about it!

Now whenever I get a chance I do the same to my son, but the funny thing is

before I started doing it to him he was doing it to me. Whenever I have

on my shoulders he starts playing with my ears and that was from day

one. My wife and I adopted , we got him when he was ten days old.

They say God doesn't give you more then you can handle. I guess that's why

I'm a father of a great little autistic child. Thanks dad! Peace,

O. Colliton

******

On the surface it may seem that I am " all things autism " at our house:

appointments to make and keep, phone calls (!), diet warden, autism society

meetings, etc. I hope that you know that I know you are the strength behind

it all. You provide the balance, security, bear hugs, dinosaur battles,

and, at the end of the day, the broad shoulders that embrace us to assure us

that all's right with our world. With eyes shiny with love- Beth, ,

&

******

For Bob - the best Daddy

Happy Father's Day to the

best daddy a little boy could have.

Thank you for being his best friend.

Thank you for loving him even so he doesn't play baseball,

Even so he doesn’t have conversational speech,

Even so sometimes he doesn't act " correctly " in public.

Thank you for realizing that being a daddy means loving unconditionally

even in these conditions, and for loving our blue-eyed 6-year old special

angel, Sent to us so you could celebrate Father's Day and I could

celebrate Mother's Day. Love, Vicki and your little man

******

Maynard Dyson is a great dad, so patient with his kids. Very soft spoken

yet firm and kind in his discipline. -Lucy Towbin, sister-in-law

******

Dear DAD, you once told mom " if she will just say DADDY I LOVE YOU, I

will be so happy and content " . Well, you have worked so hard to provide

for us so mom could stay home and help me. Instead of buying yourself

nice things you buy expensive therapy so I can get better. You come

home so tiered, and yet you always ask mom " how did my little girl do

today? " . Afterwards, you tickle me and positively reinforce me with the

sensory input I so much crave. I wanted to remind you now that I can

talk, " DADDY I LOVE YOU! " , love your little girl ,.(written by mom

of 5yr. old autistic girl) note to person posting letters, this will

mean more than any mushy letter, please post it we hope to surprise him

with this.

******

For my son's father - Yes, I know you care, you try, and you never say die.

I know everyday because you get up, get out the door in the morning, go to

work, come home, say hi, say hi to our son and ask him about his day. It is

in the repeated actions of what may seem like the small daily matters that

the truth of our hearts is made known. Happy Father's Day. Anne

******

Dad, I just want to tell you how special you are to me, how much I love your

tickles and tumbles and throws on the bed, how much I'm learning from you

each passing day, from brushing teeth, to going to work, even the little

things like making noodles or playing ball-- they all are so wonderful, I

remember them all. love always, jackson (and mom) Kandie and (8

years) * 's website:

http://kidsactivities.homestead.com/spage.html

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