Re: Say it loud...

[Guest guest]

" Nerd " works for me as a self claimed label... it says, yes, I'm socially

awkward, not interested in fashion, when I start to talk, people cut me off

and take the conversation elsewhere, and they tend not to get when I'm

joking... however, my expertise is respected and sought after at work.

Like Ilah, I don't think most (other) people will ever get how hard I have

tried, and still try...

As I grow older, I feel more accepting of myself, and comfortable around the

people with whom I interact.

In a new situation however, with people who don't know me, its like

starting all over again.

When I'm saying yes, I am a nerd, I'm accepting that aspect which is, and

saying there is nothing wrong with that.

I am familiar with the process of re-claiming labels. I have done

that myself with several terms like nerd, geek and hyper. (Not sure

I really understand why some people think it is a bad thing to have

lots of energy.) Really, isn't that what we are all doing with the

term aspie. I mean last time I looked the official definition

sounded pretty negative to me.

I am also very introspective. Many people around me don't seem to

understand all of the self examination I do. Now that I understand,

at least partly, the way my mind works, I can use that to make

myself happier and healthier and less stressed. I feel like I am in

the process of becoming more the person I was ment to be. Part of

this may be because of my childhood and teen years. Because I was

pressured heavily to act " normal " by my mom and other relatives, I

was basically forced to live a lie, to spend my life pretending (or

trying to pretend) to be something I was not. Now I am working on

learning to love and nurture the quirky person that I am.

Ilah