Peace of Mind

[Guest guest]

FIFTEEN STEPS TO HAVING PEACE OF MIND

Duke University psychologists interviewed and tested several hundred people to

isolate characteristics that make for " peace of mind " . This research found that

people who scored highest on their " peace of mind " scale had certain qualities

in common. These are critical because it is difficult to achieve any degree of

success and happiness without the sometimes-elusive " peace of mind " . The purpose

of this article is to relate the qualities as discovered in the Duke study, as

well as, some of my own that have resulted from personal experience and

observation of others' experiences. People who got high " peace of mind " scores:

1. ... are positive thinkers, upbeat and optimistic. They read positive books,

listen to positive cassette tapes, and associate with positive people.

2. ... are excited and enthusiastic. They enjoy what they do and do what they

enjoy. Money & success are by-products.

3. ... have meaning in their lives. They are interested in something outside of

themselves, such as helping others. They build people up; they do not tear them

down. Many have personal mission statements.

4. ... cultivate basic values. They keep commitments, refuse to lie, obey the

law, & thoughtfully consider the impact of their social role. They " do the right

thing.

5. ... believe in what they do (work, hobby, etc). Their lives are consistent

with their values and principles. They practice what they preach.

6. ... recognize the right of others to believe differently & to live

accordingly even though they have values and beliefs of their own. They also

recognize that beliefs may change over time and sometimes do change as

experience and insights occur.

7. ... adjust to their humanity. Although they have goals, they do not measure

their value by goal achievement. It is OK to strive for goals, but be satisfied

with where you are after you have done your best. ALSO, do not measure yourself

against others. In the final analysis, it is not what you accomplish, but

rather, what you accomplish with what you had to work with. The use you make of

your talents & abilities is what matters.

8. ... do the best they can at what they do. Generally, when you accomplish very

little, you consume more energy. Spend yourself in a good cause based on your

values.

9. ... live in the present. They are not waiting to be happy & to enjoy their

lives. Take life one day at a time. Do not worry about things you are

anticipating, that may or may not happen, & over which you may or may not have

any control. If you have control, work at doing something about it-that work

alone will help overcome the worry. If you can do nothing about it, there is no

point in worrying. Relax. Do not get uptight over a situation over which you

have no control. Likewise, do not worry about things that have already occurred.

Learn from mistakes, but do not dwell on them.

10. ... avoid negative emotions such as suspicion, hostility, anger &

resentment. They do not hold grudges or seek ways to get even. These simply sap

your energy, keep you in turmoil & destroy your peace of mind. Trust people,

look for the good in people & do not be afraid to love. It is the most positive

of all the emotions.

11. ... are happy and recognize that happiness is a state of mind, not the

result of their circumstance or condition. You cannot always control your

circumstances; however, you can control how you react to those circumstances.

12. ... refuse to pity themselves or make alibis, in spite of adversity. They

accept responsibility for their lives and circumstances. Look for the best in

every situation. Every setback carries with it the seed of an equivalent or

greater opportunity. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

13. ... count their blessings. Fill your mind with positive thoughts about your

accomplishments & the good people & things in your life. Focus on the positives

rather than on the obstacles. The positives will always outweigh the negatives.

We tend to lose sight of this when a setback occurs.

14. ... have a healthy self-image. It is difficult to be positive about anything

else when you are not positive about yourself. Believe in yourself.

15. ... do not take themselves or life too seriously. Be willing to laugh at

yourself.

For the most part, the Duke University researchers believe these characteristics

can be developed because they are learned behaviors. They concluded that " peace

of mind " is not a by-product of one's activities (like happiness is) but rather,

something that can be cultivated.

Taken from the Indianapolis Business Journal, October 19-25, 1992.

Written by: Basile, Vice-President of Gene B. Glick Co., Inc.