Re: Former MDMA user offers medication advice!

Posted March 14, 2011 · March 14, 2011

Interesting. I've been living with PSSD for 3 years, and I use MDMA when i want to have sex. I don't orgasm, or even climax, but I like it it feels somewhat good. It doesn't work if I do it too often, and I don't like the depression that comes after. Subject: Former MDMA user offers medication advice!To: SSRIsex Date: Sunday, March 13, 2011, 10:38 PM

Well, hello everyone. I am new to the group.

I am 4 months into recovery from abuse of ecstasy, a powerful serotonin agent. Although my drug of choice was foolish compared to following a doctor's advice on taking an SSRI, it turns out that my reaction to MDMA is rare.

But not unheard of, as there are plenty of others suffering as I do for months or years after discontinuing usage of the drug.

Most of us describe similar symptoms, including depression, anxiety, schizophrenia-like psychosis, difficulty digesting food (especially carbs), as well as general and sexual anehdonia.

In regards to sexual dysfunction, I can say that I often feel no sexual feelings at all. The normally arousing images of naked women seem no more exciting than looking at a piece of cardboard. When I have sex with my wife, i can still achieve erections, and I feel enough sensation to maintain the erection, but when I climax, all sensation disappears. My ejaculatory anedhonia is often 100%. My mind goes completely blank and I feel no pleasure at all.

Here is the part where I share advice on what has worked for me. A medication known by the name Piracetam.

This medication is thought to work by increasing the permeability of cellular membranes. It increases bloodflow between the hemispheres of the brain, and it is shown to increase communication between a number of brain regions.

When I take piracetam, I have a profound change in symptoms. My mouth waters like crazy and my intestines smooth out and feel much better. I experience increased tactile sensation all over my body, which is very noticeable on the bottoms of my feet. My vision becomes sharper and I often experience feelings of well-being, sometimes leading to weeping tears of joy!

Then, after most of the other changes have occurred, I feel a stirring below the belt. Sometimes these changes take several days of taking the medication to surface. But each time, I experience sexual thoughts and feelings, along with increased sensitivity of the penis and testicles. When I climax - my sense of pleasure is at least 50% of what it used to be.

Here's the best part. In the hours AFTER sex, I find myself having more and more sexual thoughts - something that didn't happen before.

I really want to look at naked women... and I have a drastic increase in semen production! The next day, I have to have sex again. And then the next! Each night, my orgasm gets better and better...by day 5 or 6 I am shocked at how good it feels! Close to 90%....maybe.

When I stop taking the Piracetam after a few weeks, my anehdonia comes back....along with the depression. But each time I begin the next cycle of piracetam, the same cascade of positive changes occur.

Note: when I take piracetam, I take VERY small doses - because it tends to be a mind-bending experience including a temporary increase in anxiety. However, this medication is VERY safe, even in higher doses. It is given to stroke victims, elderly people with depression, as well as children with traumatic brain injury. It is well tolerated and no instances of toxicity have been found. Also, the molecule is a derivative of GABA, but it is not an agonist or antagonist of any of the receptors (gaba, dopamine, serotonin) in the brain!

They don't really know how it works, but they have shown that it increases the concentration of serotonin in the intestines, so it likely does the same in the brain. It has been shown to speed the healing of ulcers, as well.

I HIGHLY recommend this medicine to all here! It can be purchased online without a prescription in the US. It is affordable and safe. And if you take tiny doses like i do, it will last you forever. I take about 100mg, twice a day. I take it with fish oil every time, as the two seem to work together. After several weeks I get used to feeling normal again, then I begin to feel a little overstimulated by it. That's when I cycle off of it. It takes almost a week for the depression to really return.

I hope this helps. Of course, I practice good diet and exercise, too, but this medication has saved my life. Nothing has made the impact it has.

Good luck to all.

Mark

Posted March 15, 2011 · March 15, 2011

i have extensive experience with piracetam. and i admit it does have amazing

effects. yes it increased my sex drive, increased my emotions, and even helped

my cognition. i noticed draw backs of excessive anxiety, and tremors which would

occur if i would stop. i would always get severely angry, everything would piss

me off. i think part of it was taking excessive dosages, and not taking it with

choline (which is a must apparently, since it gobbles up your choline) with that

said it's crazy how profound the effect was. but it's not without its drawbacks

>

> Well, hello everyone. I am new to the group.

> I am 4 months into recovery from abuse of ecstasy, a powerful serotonin agent.

Although my drug of choice was foolish compared to following a doctor's advice

on taking an SSRI, it turns out that my reaction to MDMA is rare.

>

> But not unheard of, as there are plenty of others suffering as I do for months

or years after discontinuing usage of the drug.

> Most of us describe similar symptoms, including depression, anxiety,

schizophrenia-like psychosis, difficulty digesting food (especially carbs), as

well as general and sexual anehdonia.

>

> In regards to sexual dysfunction, I can say that I often feel no sexual

feelings at all. The normally arousing images of naked women seem no more

exciting than looking at a piece of cardboard. When I have sex with my wife, i

can still achieve erections, and I feel enough sensation to maintain the

erection, but when I climax, all sensation disappears. My ejaculatory anedhonia

is often 100%. My mind goes completely blank and I feel no pleasure at all.

>

> Here is the part where I share advice on what has worked for me. A medication

known by the name Piracetam.

> This medication is thought to work by increasing the permeability of cellular

membranes. It increases bloodflow between the hemispheres of the brain, and it

is shown to increase communication between a number of brain regions.

>

> When I take piracetam, I have a profound change in symptoms. My mouth waters

like crazy and my intestines smooth out and feel much better. I experience

increased tactile sensation all over my body, which is very noticeable on the

bottoms of my feet. My vision becomes sharper and I often experience feelings of

well-being, sometimes leading to weeping tears of joy!

>

> Then, after most of the other changes have occurred, I feel a stirring below

the belt. Sometimes these changes take several days of taking the medication to

surface. But each time, I experience sexual thoughts and feelings, along with

increased sensitivity of the penis and testicles. When I climax - my sense of

pleasure is at least 50% of what it used to be.

>

> Here's the best part. In the hours AFTER sex, I find myself having more and

more sexual thoughts - something that didn't happen before.

> I really want to look at naked women... and I have a drastic increase in semen

production! The next day, I have to have sex again. And then the next! Each

night, my orgasm gets better and better...by day 5 or 6 I am shocked at how good

it feels! Close to 90%....maybe.

>

> When I stop taking the Piracetam after a few weeks, my anehdonia comes

back....along with the depression. But each time I begin the next cycle of

piracetam, the same cascade of positive changes occur.

> Note: when I take piracetam, I take VERY small doses - because it tends to be

a mind-bending experience including a temporary increase in anxiety. However,

this medication is VERY safe, even in higher doses. It is given to stroke

victims, elderly people with depression, as well as children with traumatic

brain injury. It is well tolerated and no instances of toxicity have been found.

Also, the molecule is a derivative of GABA, but it is not an agonist or

antagonist of any of the receptors (gaba, dopamine, serotonin) in the brain!

>

> They don't really know how it works, but they have shown that it increases the

concentration of serotonin in the intestines, so it likely does the same in the

brain. It has been shown to speed the healing of ulcers, as well.

>

> I HIGHLY recommend this medicine to all here! It can be purchased online

without a prescription in the US. It is affordable and safe. And if you take

tiny doses like i do, it will last you forever. I take about 100mg, twice a day.

I take it with fish oil every time, as the two seem to work together. After

several weeks I get used to feeling normal again, then I begin to feel a little

overstimulated by it. That's when I cycle off of it. It takes almost a week for

the depression to really return.

>

> I hope this helps. Of course, I practice good diet and exercise, too, but this

medication has saved my life. Nothing has made the impact it has.

>

> Good luck to all.

>

> Mark

>

Posted March 16, 2011 · March 16, 2011

Sounds very interesting, thanks guys. Did it helps with erections too?

> >

> > Well, hello everyone. I am new to the group.

> > I am 4 months into recovery from abuse of ecstasy, a powerful serotonin

agent. Although my drug of choice was foolish compared to following a doctor's

advice on taking an SSRI, it turns out that my reaction to MDMA is rare.

> >

> > But not unheard of, as there are plenty of others suffering as I do for

months or years after discontinuing usage of the drug.

> > Most of us describe similar symptoms, including depression, anxiety,

schizophrenia-like psychosis, difficulty digesting food (especially carbs), as

well as general and sexual anehdonia.

> >

> > In regards to sexual dysfunction, I can say that I often feel no sexual

feelings at all. The normally arousing images of naked women seem no more

exciting than looking at a piece of cardboard. When I have sex with my wife, i

can still achieve erections, and I feel enough sensation to maintain the

erection, but when I climax, all sensation disappears. My ejaculatory anedhonia

is often 100%. My mind goes completely blank and I feel no pleasure at all.

> >

> > Here is the part where I share advice on what has worked for me. A

medication known by the name Piracetam.

> > This medication is thought to work by increasing the permeability of

cellular membranes. It increases bloodflow between the hemispheres of the brain,

and it is shown to increase communication between a number of brain regions.

> >

> > When I take piracetam, I have a profound change in symptoms. My mouth waters

like crazy and my intestines smooth out and feel much better. I experience

increased tactile sensation all over my body, which is very noticeable on the

bottoms of my feet. My vision becomes sharper and I often experience feelings of

well-being, sometimes leading to weeping tears of joy!

> >

> > Then, after most of the other changes have occurred, I feel a stirring below

the belt. Sometimes these changes take several days of taking the medication to

surface. But each time, I experience sexual thoughts and feelings, along with

increased sensitivity of the penis and testicles. When I climax - my sense of

pleasure is at least 50% of what it used to be.

> >

> > Here's the best part. In the hours AFTER sex, I find myself having more and

more sexual thoughts - something that didn't happen before.

> > I really want to look at naked women... and I have a drastic increase in

semen production! The next day, I have to have sex again. And then the next!

Each night, my orgasm gets better and better...by day 5 or 6 I am shocked at how

good it feels! Close to 90%....maybe.

> >

> > When I stop taking the Piracetam after a few weeks, my anehdonia comes

back....along with the depression. But each time I begin the next cycle of

piracetam, the same cascade of positive changes occur.

> > Note: when I take piracetam, I take VERY small doses - because it tends to

be a mind-bending experience including a temporary increase in anxiety. However,

this medication is VERY safe, even in higher doses. It is given to stroke

victims, elderly people with depression, as well as children with traumatic

brain injury. It is well tolerated and no instances of toxicity have been found.

Also, the molecule is a derivative of GABA, but it is not an agonist or

antagonist of any of the receptors (gaba, dopamine, serotonin) in the brain!

> >

> > They don't really know how it works, but they have shown that it increases

the concentration of serotonin in the intestines, so it likely does the same in

the brain. It has been shown to speed the healing of ulcers, as well.

> >

> > I HIGHLY recommend this medicine to all here! It can be purchased online

without a prescription in the US. It is affordable and safe. And if you take

tiny doses like i do, it will last you forever. I take about 100mg, twice a day.

I take it with fish oil every time, as the two seem to work together. After

several weeks I get used to feeling normal again, then I begin to feel a little

overstimulated by it. That's when I cycle off of it. It takes almost a week for

the depression to really return.

> >

> > I hope this helps. Of course, I practice good diet and exercise, too, but

this medication has saved my life. Nothing has made the impact it has.

> >

> > Good luck to all.

> >

> > Mark

> >

>

Posted March 16, 2011 · March 16, 2011

Jack can i ask your drug history and how long u r med free? thx.

> >

> > Well, hello everyone. I am new to the group.

> > I am 4 months into recovery from abuse of ecstasy, a powerful serotonin

agent. Although my drug of choice was foolish compared to following a doctor's

advice on taking an SSRI, it turns out that my reaction to MDMA is rare.

> >

> > But not unheard of, as there are plenty of others suffering as I do for

months or years after discontinuing usage of the drug.

> > Most of us describe similar symptoms, including depression, anxiety,

schizophrenia-like psychosis, difficulty digesting food (especially carbs), as

well as general and sexual anehdonia.

> >

> > In regards to sexual dysfunction, I can say that I often feel no sexual

feelings at all. The normally arousing images of naked women seem no more

exciting than looking at a piece of cardboard. When I have sex with my wife, i

can still achieve erections, and I feel enough sensation to maintain the

erection, but when I climax, all sensation disappears. My ejaculatory anedhonia

is often 100%. My mind goes completely blank and I feel no pleasure at all.

> >

> > Here is the part where I share advice on what has worked for me. A

medication known by the name Piracetam.

> > This medication is thought to work by increasing the permeability of

cellular membranes. It increases bloodflow between the hemispheres of the brain,

and it is shown to increase communication between a number of brain regions.

> >

> > When I take piracetam, I have a profound change in symptoms. My mouth waters

like crazy and my intestines smooth out and feel much better. I experience

increased tactile sensation all over my body, which is very noticeable on the

bottoms of my feet. My vision becomes sharper and I often experience feelings of

well-being, sometimes leading to weeping tears of joy!

> >

> > Then, after most of the other changes have occurred, I feel a stirring below

the belt. Sometimes these changes take several days of taking the medication to

surface. But each time, I experience sexual thoughts and feelings, along with

increased sensitivity of the penis and testicles. When I climax - my sense of

pleasure is at least 50% of what it used to be.

> >

> > Here's the best part. In the hours AFTER sex, I find myself having more and

more sexual thoughts - something that didn't happen before.

> > I really want to look at naked women... and I have a drastic increase in

semen production! The next day, I have to have sex again. And then the next!

Each night, my orgasm gets better and better...by day 5 or 6 I am shocked at how

good it feels! Close to 90%....maybe.

> >

> > When I stop taking the Piracetam after a few weeks, my anehdonia comes

back....along with the depression. But each time I begin the next cycle of

piracetam, the same cascade of positive changes occur.

> > Note: when I take piracetam, I take VERY small doses - because it tends to

be a mind-bending experience including a temporary increase in anxiety. However,

this medication is VERY safe, even in higher doses. It is given to stroke

victims, elderly people with depression, as well as children with traumatic

brain injury. It is well tolerated and no instances of toxicity have been found.

Also, the molecule is a derivative of GABA, but it is not an agonist or

antagonist of any of the receptors (gaba, dopamine, serotonin) in the brain!

> >

> > They don't really know how it works, but they have shown that it increases

the concentration of serotonin in the intestines, so it likely does the same in

the brain. It has been shown to speed the healing of ulcers, as well.

> >

> > I HIGHLY recommend this medicine to all here! It can be purchased online

without a prescription in the US. It is affordable and safe. And if you take

tiny doses like i do, it will last you forever. I take about 100mg, twice a day.

I take it with fish oil every time, as the two seem to work together. After

several weeks I get used to feeling normal again, then I begin to feel a little

overstimulated by it. That's when I cycle off of it. It takes almost a week for

the depression to really return.

> >

> > I hope this helps. Of course, I practice good diet and exercise, too, but

this medication has saved my life. Nothing has made the impact it has.

> >

> > Good luck to all.

> >

> > Mark

> >

>

Posted March 16, 2011 · March 16, 2011

Yes. Piracetam leads directly to erections, for me. Sometimes, these are raging hard-ons, too.Let me be clear. It completely transitions me from feeling numb and detached to being reconnected. After a few hours, I feel a wash of sensation. I can feel where the prostate attaches to the large intestine (it uses the gastric nerve). I can feel it starting to swell with fluid. My testicles start tingling. And yes, the penis wakes up like it hasn't in a long time. The penis is attached to the rectal nerve, so it makes complete sense that a lack of genital sensation correlates to a lack in anal sensation. I am a straight man who is not afraid to admit he shoves a finger up there every now and then. Sometimes for stimulation, sometimes for cleaning. Go

ahead, laugh all you want. Then, consider trying it... :-)But it is interesting to note that during my first month of recovery when I had complete sexual anehdonia, when my body couldn't even perceive that my penis had any mass to it - that I also had zero rectal sensation. I'd shove a finger up there and be shocked that it produced no pleasure or discomfort whatsoever. None. It was like a 90 yr old's rectum! Er, um....what?The lesson? Your sexual organs are attached to the brain via your digestive system. Of course, you all know that 95% of your serotonin and serotonin receptors exist in your intestinal tract, right?I have said this on many ex-drug user boards, and I will say it here. The process of recovery from MDMA, and likely the SSRIs, is a process in which the intestines are 're-wiring' themselves into the brain. The endocrine system

causes these new connections to occur, but it takes a long time. I can ALWAYS tell that the tingling in my head is directly caused by weight and movement against the villi in my intestines. I experience relief from the anxiety when my small intestine begins to empty into my large intestine. The illeum is probably involved here. If I starve myself for two or more days, the tingling and anxiety stop completely. I am certain that what is going on with all of us, is the food in your intestines is tickling the villi. This used to result in mild stimulation in the brain which would respond by causing a release of bile and subsequent muscle contractions (peristalsis). Now, with several branches of the serotonin system in the brain collapsed, the 'stimulation' from digestion is no longer mild. Instead, a mind-bending cortisol releasing interrogation of brain tissue is happening. The intestines are insulting the brain on an on-going basis! I believe that the constant release of cortisol is responsible for the deadening of the sexual nerves. Cortisol also causes the release of prolactin and oxytocin, which are responsible for prolonging or preventing ejaculation. Eventually the brain adapts by up-regulating the serotonin receptors. Over time, with enough new receptors for this interrogation, digestion becomes more and more effective. As the intestines are re-wired into the brain, serotonin is able to reach lower and lower nerve endings in the intestines, including the large intestines....the prostate....the rectum! Say "YAY!" boys and girls!The brain does not count in days like we do, it counts in months, at the minimum. Most former drug abusers that I have read about experience recovery periods

that last one to two years. Some of them go up to four, but the majority fall into the 1-2 yr. or 12-24 months category.Think about infants that are first digesting milk. Some of them cry quite a bit in the first few months, too. Kinda like their intestines are doing the initial wiring....hmmm. And don't most babies take at least two years to exhibit mental development? Hmmm....maybe that is why this process takes so long for most of us!Also, the 90 yr. old I mentioned....consider how many elderly people have problems digesting food. In fact, it seems nearly universal that older people develop problems with their intestines, if nothing else gets them first. My grandma always said, "I'll be fine as long as I can keep my bowels moving."My great-grandma recently said, "I get something that I call my 'crazy head'. I feel sort of dizzy." Now she is starting to refuse food, a sign that her brain no longer wants to be responsible for

digestion. She does not have Alzheimer's, but those that do....they ALWAYS refuse food at the end. Think I'm crazy? Just look up a few centenarians that describe how they lived so long...I have seen several men over 100 claim that their key to a long life was simple, "I'd always push away from the table before I was full."Your intestines are remarkable. Doctors call it the 'second brain'. They struggle to understand them. Several intestinal disorders have been linked to severe mental psychosis, and they don't know why. And your intestines are one of the FEW organs that cannot be transplanted! Your heart, liver, and kidneys? No problem. But the intestines are more highly innervated and surrounded by blood vessels, that other organs seem unimportant by comparison. I no longer think of my intestines as an 'organ' like the rest of them, but rather an extension

of the brain itself!I hope you all have found my contribution amusing yet informative! You can thank the piracetam for fueling my endless research and desire to ramble on.I do have a question, though.Can I assume that all of you have actually had anxiety? You are not simply detached from your genitals, I assume. You feel detached from your whole body, right? Or at least, you did in the beginning, right?I am trying to determine the similarity between SSRI sexual dysfunction and MDMA neurotoxicity. Please respond and let me know if you indeed have gone through months of mind-bending anxiety and depersonalization. You know, where the whole world seems unreal and you are no longer connected to your physical body...Yes, by now, the world is starting to come back to me, and my body is feeling more human. But that took more than two months to achieve. This has been an amazing and horrifying experience for me.So

chime in please, and let me know if your issues were always JUST sexual in nature....or did you have other body/brain issues?Thanks!

Posted March 17, 2011 · March 17, 2011

Wow! Thanks for the massive insight into your understanding of the situation."Please respond and let me know if you indeed have gone through months of

mind-bending anxiety and depersonalization. You know, where the whole world seems unreal and you are no longer connected to your physical body..."Yes, I suffer anxiety (from before ssri use) and depersonalisation (post).Do you think taking Piracetam would impede the natural recovery you describe?Do you find it increases anxiety?CheersHenryTo: SSRIsex Sent: Thu, 17 March, 2011 5:48:06Subject: Re: Former MDMA user offers medication advice!

Yes. Piracetam leads directly to erections, for me. Sometimes, these are raging hard-ons, too.Let me be clear. It completely transitions me from feeling numb and detached to being reconnected. After a few hours, I feel a wash of sensation. I can feel where the prostate attaches to the large intestine (it uses the gastric nerve). I can feel it starting to swell with fluid. My testicles start tingling. And yes, the penis wakes up like it hasn't in a long time. The penis is attached to the rectal nerve, so it makes complete sense that a lack of genital sensation correlates to a lack in anal sensation. I am a straight man who is not afraid to admit he shoves a finger up there every now and then. Sometimes for stimulation, sometimes for cleaning. Go

ahead, laugh all you want. Then, consider trying it... :-)But it is interesting to note that during my first month of recovery when I had complete sexual anehdonia, when my body couldn't even perceive that my penis had any mass to it - that I also had zero rectal sensation. I'd shove a finger up there and be shocked that it produced no pleasure or discomfort whatsoever. None. It was like a 90 yr old's rectum! Er, um....what?The lesson? Your sexual organs are attached to the brain via your digestive system. Of course, you all know that 95% of your serotonin and serotonin receptors exist in your intestinal tract, right?I have said this on many ex-drug user boards, and I will say it here. The process of recovery from MDMA, and likely the SSRIs, is a process in which the intestines are 're-wiring' themselves into the brain. The endocrine system

causes these new connections to occur, but it takes a long time. I can ALWAYS tell that the tingling in my head is directly caused by weight and movement against the villi in my intestines. I experience relief from the anxiety when my small intestine begins to empty into my large intestine. The illeum is probably involved here. If I starve myself for two or more days, the tingling and anxiety stop completely. I am certain that what is going on with all of us, is the food in your intestines is tickling the villi. This used to result in mild stimulation in the brain which would respond by causing a release of bile and subsequent muscle contractions (peristalsis). Now, with several branches of the serotonin system in the brain collapsed, the 'stimulation' from digestion is no longer mild. Instead, a mind-bending cortisol releasing interrogation of brain tissue is happening. The intestines are insulting the brain on an on-going basis! I believe that the constant release of cortisol is responsible for the deadening of the sexual nerves. Cortisol also causes the release of prolactin and oxytocin, which are responsible for prolonging or preventing ejaculation. Eventually the brain adapts by up-regulating the serotonin receptors. Over time, with enough new receptors for this interrogation, digestion becomes more and more effective. As the intestines are re-wired into the brain, serotonin is able to reach lower and lower nerve endings in the intestines, including the large intestines....the prostate....the rectum! Say "YAY!" boys and girls!The brain does not count in days like we do, it counts in months, at the minimum. Most former drug abusers that I have read about experience recovery periods

that last one to two years. Some of them go up to four, but the majority fall into the 1-2 yr. or 12-24 months category.Think about infants that are first digesting milk. Some of them cry quite a bit in the first few months, too. Kinda like their intestines are doing the initial wiring....hmmm. And don't most babies take at least two years to exhibit mental development? Hmmm....maybe that is why this process takes so long for most of us!Also, the 90 yr. old I mentioned....consider how many elderly people have problems digesting food. In fact, it seems nearly universal that older people develop problems with their intestines, if nothing else gets them first. My grandma always said, "I'll be fine as long as I can keep my bowels moving."My great-grandma recently said, "I get something that I call my 'crazy head'. I feel sort of dizzy." Now she is starting to refuse food, a sign that her brain no longer wants to be responsible for

digestion. She does not have Alzheimer's, but those that do....they ALWAYS refuse food at the end. Think I'm crazy? Just look up a few centenarians that describe how they lived so long...I have seen several men over 100 claim that their key to a long life was simple, "I'd always push away from the table before I was full."Your intestines are remarkable. Doctors call it the 'second brain'. They struggle to understand them. Several intestinal disorders have been linked to severe mental psychosis, and they don't know why. And your intestines are one of the FEW organs that cannot be transplanted! Your heart, liver, and kidneys? No problem. But the intestines are more highly innervated and surrounded by blood vessels, that other organs seem unimportant by comparison. I no longer think of my intestines as an 'organ' like the rest of them, but rather an extension

of the brain itself!I hope you all have found my contribution amusing yet informative! You can thank the piracetam for fueling my endless research and desire to ramble on.I do have a question, though.Can I assume that all of you have actually had anxiety? You are not simply detached from your genitals, I assume. You feel detached from your whole body, right? Or at least, you did in the beginning, right?I am trying to determine the similarity between SSRI sexual dysfunction and MDMA neurotoxicity. Please respond and let me know if you indeed have gone through months of mind-bending anxiety and depersonalization. You know, where the whole world seems unreal and you are no longer connected to your physical body...Yes, by now, the world is starting to come back to me, and my body is feeling more human. But that took more than two months to achieve. This has been an amazing and horrifying experience for me.So

chime in please, and let me know if your issues were always JUST sexual in nature....or did you have other body/brain issues?Thanks!

Posted March 17, 2011 · March 17, 2011

So it is interesting. I am one year out and through taking Zinc supplements and

just plain ole time i have got more maintable erections back, good orgasms,

morning erections and the first hint of sexual response (libido) coming back.

However the bottom half of my body, including the penis is very deadened and

numb. its not just the penis. Its the inner things, the rectum everything you

guys talked about.

Do you think this numbness heals? I have heard of it healing in women, but not

men. Do you think Piracetam is turning the proverbial switch on? How do we get

it to STAY on?

>

> Yes. Piracetam leads directly to erections, for me. Sometimes, these are

raging

> hard-ons, too.

>

> Let me be clear. It completely transitions me from feeling numb and detached

to

> being reconnected. After a few hours, I feel a wash of sensation. I can feel

> where the prostate attaches to the large intestine (it uses the gastric

nerve).

> I can feel it starting to swell with fluid. My testicles start tingling. And

> yes, the penis wakes up like it hasn't in a long time. The penis is attached

to

> the rectal nerve, so it makes complete sense that a lack of genital sensation

> correlates to a lack in anal sensation. I am a straight man who is not afraid

to

> admit he shoves a finger up there every now and then. Sometimes for

stimulation,

> sometimes for cleaning. Go ahead, laugh all you want. Then, consider trying

> it... :-)

>

> But it is interesting to note that during my first month of recovery when I

had

> complete sexual anehdonia, when my body couldn't even perceive that my penis

had

> any mass to it - that I also had zero rectal sensation. I'd shove a finger up

> there and be shocked that it produced no pleasure or discomfort whatsoever.

> None.

>

> It was like a 90 yr old's rectum! Er, um....what?

>

> The lesson? Your sexual organs are attached to the brain via your digestive

> system. Of course, you all know that 95% of your serotonin and serotonin

> receptors exist in your intestinal tract, right?

>

> I have said this on many ex-drug user boards, and I will say it here. The

> process of recovery from MDMA, and likely the SSRIs, is a process in which the

> intestines are 're-wiring' themselves into the brain. The endocrine system

> causes these new connections to occur, but it takes a long time. I can ALWAYS

> tell that the tingling in my head is directly caused by weight and movement

> against the villi in my intestines. I experience relief from the anxiety when

my

> small intestine begins to empty into my large intestine. The illeum is

probably

> involved here. If I starve myself for two or more days, the tingling and

anxiety

> stop completely. I am certain that what is going on with all of us, is the

food

> in your intestines is tickling the villi. This used to result in mild

> stimulation in the brain which would respond by causing a release of bile and

> subsequent muscle contractions (peristalsis). Now, with several branches of

the

> serotonin system in the brain collapsed, the 'stimulation' from digestion is

no

> longer mild. Instead, a mind-bending cortisol releasing interrogation of brain

> tissue is happening. The intestines are insulting the brain on an on-going

> basis! I believe that the constant release of cortisol is responsible for the

> deadening of the sexual nerves. Cortisol also causes the release of prolactin

> and oxytocin, which are responsible for prolonging or preventing ejaculation.

> Eventually the brain adapts by up-regulating the serotonin receptors. Over

time,

> with enough new receptors for this interrogation, digestion becomes more and

> more effective. As the intestines are re-wired into the brain, serotonin is

able

> to reach lower and lower nerve endings in the intestines, including the large

> intestines....the prostate....the rectum! Say " YAY! " boys and girls!

>

> The brain does not count in days like we do, it counts in months, at the

> minimum.

>

> Most former drug abusers that I have read about experience recovery periods

that

> last one to two years. Some of them go up to four, but the majority fall into

> the 1-2 yr. or 12-24 months category.

>

> Think about infants that are first digesting milk. Some of them cry quite a

bit

> in the first few months, too. Kinda like their intestines are doing the

initial

> wiring....hmmm. And don't most babies take at least two years to exhibit

mental

> development? Hmmm....maybe that is why this process takes so long for most of

> us!

>

> Also, the 90 yr. old I mentioned....consider how many elderly people have

> problems digesting food. In fact, it seems nearly universal that older people

> develop problems with their intestines, if nothing else gets them first.

>

> My grandma always said, " I'll be fine as long as I can keep my bowels moving. "

> My great-grandma recently said, " I get something that I call my 'crazy head'.

I

> feel sort of dizzy. " Now she is starting to refuse food, a sign that her brain

> no longer wants to be responsible for digestion. She does not have

Alzheimer's,

> but those that do....they ALWAYS refuse food at the end.

>

> Think I'm crazy? Just look up a few centenarians that describe how they lived

so

> long...I have seen several men over 100 claim that their key to a long life

was

> simple, " I'd always push away from the table before I was full. "

> Your intestines are remarkable. Doctors call it the 'second brain'. They

> struggle to understand them. Several intestinal disorders have been linked to

> severe mental psychosis, and they don't know why. And your intestines are one

of

> the FEW organs that cannot be transplanted! Your heart, liver, and kidneys? No

> problem. But the intestines are more highly innervated and surrounded by blood

> vessels, that other organs seem unimportant by comparison. I no longer think

of

> my intestines as an 'organ' like the rest of them, but rather an extension of

> the brain itself!

>

> I hope you all have found my contribution amusing yet informative!

> You can thank the piracetam for fueling my endless research and desire to

ramble

> on.

> I do have a question, though.

> Can I assume that all of you have actually had anxiety? You are not simply

> detached from your genitals, I assume. You feel detached from your whole body,

> right? Or at least, you did in the beginning, right?

>

> I am trying to determine the similarity between SSRI sexual dysfunction and

MDMA

> neurotoxicity.

>

> Please respond and let me know if you indeed have gone through months of

> mind-bending anxiety and depersonalization. You know, where the whole world

> seems unreal and you are no longer connected to your physical body...

>

> Yes, by now, the world is starting to come back to me, and my body is feeling

> more human. But that took more than two months to achieve. This has been an

> amazing and horrifying experience for me.

>

> So chime in please, and let me know if your issues were always JUST sexual in

> nature....or did you have other body/brain issues?

>

> Thanks!

>

Posted March 17, 2011 · March 17, 2011

Btw one more thing. What brand did you use? I wanna try it out. Thanks!

>

> Yes. Piracetam leads directly to erections, for me. Sometimes, these are

raging

> hard-ons, too.

>

> Let me be clear. It completely transitions me from feeling numb and detached

to

> being reconnected. After a few hours, I feel a wash of sensation. I can feel

> where the prostate attaches to the large intestine (it uses the gastric

nerve).

> I can feel it starting to swell with fluid. My testicles start tingling. And

> yes, the penis wakes up like it hasn't in a long time. The penis is attached

to

> the rectal nerve, so it makes complete sense that a lack of genital sensation

> correlates to a lack in anal sensation. I am a straight man who is not afraid

to

> admit he shoves a finger up there every now and then. Sometimes for

stimulation,

> sometimes for cleaning. Go ahead, laugh all you want. Then, consider trying

> it... :-)

>

> But it is interesting to note that during my first month of recovery when I

had

> complete sexual anehdonia, when my body couldn't even perceive that my penis

had

> any mass to it - that I also had zero rectal sensation. I'd shove a finger up

> there and be shocked that it produced no pleasure or discomfort whatsoever.

> None.

>

> It was like a 90 yr old's rectum! Er, um....what?

>

> The lesson? Your sexual organs are attached to the brain via your digestive

> system. Of course, you all know that 95% of your serotonin and serotonin

> receptors exist in your intestinal tract, right?

>

> I have said this on many ex-drug user boards, and I will say it here. The

> process of recovery from MDMA, and likely the SSRIs, is a process in which the

> intestines are 're-wiring' themselves into the brain. The endocrine system

> causes these new connections to occur, but it takes a long time. I can ALWAYS

> tell that the tingling in my head is directly caused by weight and movement

> against the villi in my intestines. I experience relief from the anxiety when

my

> small intestine begins to empty into my large intestine. The illeum is

probably

> involved here. If I starve myself for two or more days, the tingling and

anxiety

> stop completely. I am certain that what is going on with all of us, is the

food

> in your intestines is tickling the villi. This used to result in mild

> stimulation in the brain which would respond by causing a release of bile and

> subsequent muscle contractions (peristalsis). Now, with several branches of

the

> serotonin system in the brain collapsed, the 'stimulation' from digestion is

no

> longer mild. Instead, a mind-bending cortisol releasing interrogation of brain

> tissue is happening. The intestines are insulting the brain on an on-going

> basis! I believe that the constant release of cortisol is responsible for the

> deadening of the sexual nerves. Cortisol also causes the release of prolactin

> and oxytocin, which are responsible for prolonging or preventing ejaculation.

> Eventually the brain adapts by up-regulating the serotonin receptors. Over

time,

> with enough new receptors for this interrogation, digestion becomes more and

> more effective. As the intestines are re-wired into the brain, serotonin is

able

> to reach lower and lower nerve endings in the intestines, including the large

> intestines....the prostate....the rectum! Say " YAY! " boys and girls!

>

> The brain does not count in days like we do, it counts in months, at the

> minimum.

>

> Most former drug abusers that I have read about experience recovery periods

that

> last one to two years. Some of them go up to four, but the majority fall into

> the 1-2 yr. or 12-24 months category.

>

> Think about infants that are first digesting milk. Some of them cry quite a

bit

> in the first few months, too. Kinda like their intestines are doing the

initial

> wiring....hmmm. And don't most babies take at least two years to exhibit

mental

> development? Hmmm....maybe that is why this process takes so long for most of

> us!

>

> Also, the 90 yr. old I mentioned....consider how many elderly people have

> problems digesting food. In fact, it seems nearly universal that older people

> develop problems with their intestines, if nothing else gets them first.

>

> My grandma always said, " I'll be fine as long as I can keep my bowels moving. "

> My great-grandma recently said, " I get something that I call my 'crazy head'.

I

> feel sort of dizzy. " Now she is starting to refuse food, a sign that her brain

> no longer wants to be responsible for digestion. She does not have

Alzheimer's,

> but those that do....they ALWAYS refuse food at the end.

>

> Think I'm crazy? Just look up a few centenarians that describe how they lived

so

> long...I have seen several men over 100 claim that their key to a long life

was

> simple, " I'd always push away from the table before I was full. "

> Your intestines are remarkable. Doctors call it the 'second brain'. They

> struggle to understand them. Several intestinal disorders have been linked to

> severe mental psychosis, and they don't know why. And your intestines are one

of

> the FEW organs that cannot be transplanted! Your heart, liver, and kidneys? No

> problem. But the intestines are more highly innervated and surrounded by blood

> vessels, that other organs seem unimportant by comparison. I no longer think

of

> my intestines as an 'organ' like the rest of them, but rather an extension of

> the brain itself!

>

> I hope you all have found my contribution amusing yet informative!

> You can thank the piracetam for fueling my endless research and desire to

ramble

> on.

> I do have a question, though.

> Can I assume that all of you have actually had anxiety? You are not simply

> detached from your genitals, I assume. You feel detached from your whole body,

> right? Or at least, you did in the beginning, right?

>

> I am trying to determine the similarity between SSRI sexual dysfunction and

MDMA

> neurotoxicity.

>

> Please respond and let me know if you indeed have gone through months of

> mind-bending anxiety and depersonalization. You know, where the whole world

> seems unreal and you are no longer connected to your physical body...

>

> Yes, by now, the world is starting to come back to me, and my body is feeling

> more human. But that took more than two months to achieve. This has been an

> amazing and horrifying experience for me.

>

> So chime in please, and let me know if your issues were always JUST sexual in

> nature....or did you have other body/brain issues?

>

> Thanks!

>

Posted March 17, 2011 · March 17, 2011

I bought the cheapest one I could find on Google. It's called "Nooracetam".It was $20 with shipping for 90 pills. One pill lasts me at least 3 days!I HIGHLY recommend taking small doses with 2 fish oil pills. The fish oil makes a big difference. I have heard many people say that they get headaches, especially after several days...because their choline supply is used up. I feel fine for two to three weeks because I am taking tiny doses. I will try it with choline supplements on my next round.Yes, in my first two months I felt numbness in many parts of my body. The lower on the body, the worse it seemed. The bottoms of my feet were numb, and yes my thighs too. BUT the most noticeable was the penis, testicles, and anus which, in contrast to their

normal status, were obviously numb. I was surprised that my penis seemed completely weightless. The ligaments that suspend the organ from the body are used to feeling the gentle tugging downward caused by gravity. But suddenly the organ had zero mass to it. Make sense?Yes, the piracetam can cause its own type of anxiety, but I find this is completely avoided by taking very small doses. I literally open the capsule, pour about 15% of the powder out, then lick it off a plate! It tastes bitter, but dissolves much quicker on the tongue than other medications. I take this dose normally twice a day. By day two or three, you should notice a big change. When I was at my worst, I noticed the change within hours of the first dose.IF you chose to take a whole capsule, don't worry too much about the anxiety, because it is not nearly as bad as what you have already been

through! It feels different. Mainly, I feel irritated and argumentative for a couple of hours - but not too much physical tension. This unpleasant part will go away after a few hours. You will feel the increased blood-flow right behind your forehead! It tickles for several hours.....much better than the constant 'head pressure' I had before. You can really feel the brain juices flowing!Now the BIG question: Does the piracetam halt the normal healing process?My answer: maybe, but I doubt it.Bigger question: does it 'undo' the healing process?My answer: I am nearly certain that it doesn't!I have cycled on and off this medication 3 times already. I am about to go for number 4.Each time I discontinue usage, my feeling of numbness and anxiety return, but not NEARLY as badly as before. In other words, after 3-4 weeks of taking the piracetam I do NOT slide all the way back to where I was before the cycle. It takes several

days to a week to notice feelings of sadness. It really sneaks up on me, though. I have to remind myself that it is supposed to happen.In schizophrenia, piracetam DOES alleviate symptoms, but it does not "alter their diseased state". I believe we are suffering from a type of schizophrenia. That is why so many of us are frantic or constantly obsessed with our horrid symptoms. Schizophrenia is associated with an overabundance of dopamine. I think a lack of serotonin receptors is causing our dopamine pathways to remain disconnected. The body's response is to push on your fight/flight reflex, which releases adrenaline and cortisol all day. After days or weeks of that crap, you freak out, causing the built-up dopamine to 'spill over' into the nearby pathways. You have just made some new connections every time you freak out! That is another great reason to exercise people! Maybe the piracetam is simply

allowing the dopamine to get where it wants to go...I have also noticed that with each cycle - my orgasms continue to get stronger!This is a sign that the brain adaptations are still happening!Either the healing process starts up again between cycles OR it never stops during the cycles!This is the bottom line to me. I haven't noticed a halting in my progress. It is a continuous forward march!Also, at the end of my first cycle, the 'over-stimulation' I felt from the piracetam was more severe than the last two cycles. I was taking 2 whole pills per day. One day early on I was so excited by the changes I took 5 pills in one day. I felt so stimulated by it I stayed up reading all night! I even did my resume at 6 AM! But the next

day really sucked. I was freezing cold, tremors all over, and had a terrible headache. I learned my lesson and reduced my dose. Then I was fine.By the end of the month, I was starting to have weird 'eye jerks'. The muscles under my right eyelid would twitch ever so slightly, but lightening fast. Sometimes 10-15 twitches in a row, up to 20 times a day! This is called a myoclonic seisure. It was not painful or scary, but it was irritating enough to tell me to stop taking it. After a week off the drug, my eye jerks went away for good. They have not yet returned. Please keep in mind that my first cycle was my most intense, because of the higher dose and the proximity to my MDMA abuse.The break after my first cycle lasted a month. Within a week I started to cry and feel empty again, but the head-pressure and tingling in my brain came back too. By 10 days, I was having my first anxiety attack, and I realized that the healing process was STILL

going on! The next day, I felt great! I didn't need the piracetam to 'break through' these attacks. It was all too similar to the way I 'broke through' them before the first cycle.Then my second cycle was much smaller doses. I had little or NO anxiety while on it. After another month on it, I felt very mild headaches and slight stimulation. It feels like the drug starts to build up in my system after taking it for a while. The stimulation is wonderful in the first three weeks! Then, it starts to increase ever so slightly towards unpleasantness. When I stopped taking it in week four, I noticed that the stimulation tapered down over several days. During this 'tapering off' period, I actually felt BETTER. My brain began thinking faster and processing thoughts and feelings like I was in week one again! It seems to me there is a sweet spot with this medication.My third cycle was unusual, because I didn't wait a whole month in between. This

time it was my wife's anxiety that caused me to start up again. She was having a hard time dealing with me going back and forth, and frankly she wanted sex. :-) So I started my dosing again after only a 10 day break. Once again, all the positive changes occurred - my penis felt great....my orgasms were even BETTER than the second cycle. BUT I have found that only 2 weeks back on the piracetam is necessary to feel over-stimulated again.I am now 4 days off the medication again. I am just now starting to feel down, again. But it feels like this time will be easier than the last. After all, I am sitting here typing like mad, so I can't be that bad yet! I won't be so sure until another week has passed. I will keep all of you posted. I am considering doing two week long cycles instead of 30 days. If the next cycle on the piracetam sees yet ANOTHER improvement in

sexual function, I will consider it absolute PROOF that I am NOT reversing the progress I have made!NOTE: the strangest thing I have noticed during my on/off cycles has to do with my shit.When I am off the drug, my poop comes out a much lighter color - an indication that bile production has gone down. It also is less 'formed' - meaning that muscle contractions in the intestines are lessened. When I go back ON the drug, my poop becomes immediately darker and more formed. Obviously so.I am not crazy, just a little obsessive. And comfortable with my anus!I have looked at every bowel movement since this began, and I can safely say this correlation holds up EVERY time.Piracetam helps me poop better, too!I hope I have managed to bring a smile and some hope to each of you today.I will keep the group updated. I will let you know when I hit my anxiety and sadness again. Then I will come back and tell you when I start

my next cycle.If the improvements continue for me - I will issue a strong edict that everyone jump on the piracetam train!Good luck. Good night.

Posted March 18, 2011 · March 18, 2011

Are u experiencing blunting of emotions and severe memory problems from your

reaction?

>

> I bought the cheapest one I could find on Google. It's called " Nooracetam " .

> It was $20 with shipping for 90 pills. One pill lasts me at least 3 days!

> I HIGHLY recommend taking small doses with 2 fish oil pills. The fish oil

makes

> a big difference.

>

> I have heard many people say that they get headaches, especially after several

> days...because their choline supply is used up. I feel fine for two to three

> weeks because I am taking tiny doses. I will try it with choline supplements

on

> my next round.

>

> Yes, in my first two months I felt numbness in many parts of my body. The

lower

> on the body, the worse it seemed. The bottoms of my feet were numb, and yes my

> thighs too. BUT the most noticeable was the penis, testicles, and anus which,

in

> contrast to their normal status, were obviously numb. I was surprised that my

> penis seemed completely weightless. The ligaments that suspend the organ from

> the body are used to feeling the gentle tugging downward caused by gravity.

But

> suddenly the organ had zero mass to it. Make sense?

>

> Yes, the piracetam can cause its own type of anxiety, but I find this is

> completely avoided by taking very small doses. I literally open the capsule,

> pour about 15% of the powder out, then lick it off a plate! It tastes bitter,

> but dissolves much quicker on the tongue than other medications. I take this

> dose normally twice a day. By day two or three, you should notice a big

change.

> When I was at my worst, I noticed the change within hours of the first dose.

>

> IF you chose to take a whole capsule, don't worry too much about the anxiety,

> because it is not nearly as bad as what you have already been through! It

feels

> different. Mainly, I feel irritated and argumentative for a couple of hours -

> but not too much physical tension. This unpleasant part will go away after a

few

> hours. You will feel the increased blood-flow right behind your forehead! It

> tickles for several hours.....much better than the constant 'head pressure' I

> had before. You can really feel the brain juices flowing!

>

> Now the BIG question: Does the piracetam halt the normal healing process?

> My answer: maybe, but I doubt it.

>

> Bigger question: does it 'undo' the healing process?

> My answer: I am nearly certain that it doesn't!

>

> I have cycled on and off this medication 3 times already. I am about to go for

> number 4.

> Each time I discontinue usage, my feeling of numbness and anxiety return, but

> not NEARLY as badly as before. In other words, after 3-4 weeks of taking the

> piracetam I do NOT slide all the way back to where I was before the cycle. It

> takes several days to a week to notice feelings of sadness. It really sneaks

up

> on me, though. I have to remind myself that it is supposed to happen.

>

> In schizophrenia, piracetam DOES alleviate symptoms, but it does not " alter

> their diseased state " .

>

> I believe we are suffering from a type of schizophrenia. That is why so many

of

> us are frantic or constantly obsessed with our horrid symptoms. Schizophrenia

is

> associated with an overabundance of dopamine. I think a lack of serotonin

> receptors is causing our dopamine pathways to remain disconnected. The body's

> response is to push on your fight/flight reflex, which releases adrenaline and

> cortisol all day. After days or weeks of that crap, you freak out, causing the

> built-up dopamine to 'spill over' into the nearby pathways. You have just made

> some new connections every time you freak out! That is another great reason to

> exercise people! Maybe the piracetam is simply allowing the dopamine to get

> where it wants to go...

>

> I have also noticed that with each cycle - my orgasms continue to get

stronger!

> This is a sign that the brain adaptations are still happening!

> Either the healing process starts up again between cycles OR it never stops

> during the cycles!

> This is the bottom line to me. I haven't noticed a halting in my progress. It

is

> a continuous forward march!

>

> Also, at the end of my first cycle, the 'over-stimulation' I felt from the

> piracetam was more severe than the last two cycles. I was taking 2 whole pills

> per day. One day early on I was so excited by the changes I took 5 pills in

one

> day. I felt so stimulated by it I stayed up reading all night! I even did my

> resume at 6 AM! But the next day really sucked. I was freezing cold, tremors

all

> over, and had a terrible headache. I learned my lesson and reduced my dose.

Then

> I was fine.

>

> By the end of the month, I was starting to have weird 'eye jerks'. The muscles

> under my right eyelid would twitch ever so slightly, but lightening fast.

> Sometimes 10-15 twitches in a row, up to 20 times a day! This is called a

> myoclonic seisure. It was not painful or scary, but it was irritating enough

to

> tell me to stop taking it. After a week off the drug, my eye jerks went away

for

> good. They have not yet returned. Please keep in mind that my first cycle was

my

> most intense, because of the higher dose and the proximity to my MDMA abuse.

>

> The break after my first cycle lasted a month. Within a week I started to cry

> and feel empty again, but the head-pressure and tingling in my brain came back

> too. By 10 days, I was having my first anxiety attack, and I realized that the

> healing process was STILL going on! The next day, I felt great! I didn't need

> the piracetam to 'break through' these attacks. It was all too similar to the

> way I 'broke through' them before the first cycle.

>

> Then my second cycle was much smaller doses. I had little or NO anxiety while

on

> it. After another month on it, I felt very mild headaches and slight

> stimulation. It feels like the drug starts to build up in my system after

taking

> it for a while. The stimulation is wonderful in the first three weeks! Then,

it

> starts to increase ever so slightly towards unpleasantness. When I stopped

> taking it in week four, I noticed that the stimulation tapered down over

several

> days. During this 'tapering off' period, I actually felt BETTER. My brain

began

> thinking faster and processing thoughts and feelings like I was in week one

> again! It seems to me there is a sweet spot with this medication.

>

> My third cycle was unusual, because I didn't wait a whole month in between.

This

> time it was my wife's anxiety that caused me to start up again. She was having

a

> hard time dealing with me going back and forth, and frankly she wanted sex.

:-)

> So I started my dosing again after only a 10 day break. Once again, all the

> positive changes occurred - my penis felt great....my orgasms were even BETTER

> than the second cycle. BUT I have found that only 2 weeks back on the

piracetam

> is necessary to feel over-stimulated again.

>

> I am now 4 days off the medication again. I am just now starting to feel down,

> again. But it feels like this time will be easier than the last. After all, I

am

> sitting here typing like mad, so I can't be that bad yet! I won't be so sure

> until another week has passed. I will keep all of you posted. I am considering

> doing two week long cycles instead of 30 days.

> If the next cycle on the piracetam sees yet ANOTHER improvement in sexual

> function, I will consider it absolute PROOF that I am NOT reversing the

progress

> I have made!

>

> NOTE: the strangest thing I have noticed during my on/off cycles has to do

with

> my shit.

> When I am off the drug, my poop comes out a much lighter color - an indication

> that bile production has gone down. It also is less 'formed' - meaning that

> muscle contractions in the intestines are lessened.

>

> When I go back ON the drug, my poop becomes immediately darker and more

formed.

> Obviously so.

> I am not crazy, just a little obsessive. And comfortable with my anus!

> I have looked at every bowel movement since this began, and I can safely say

> this correlation holds up EVERY time.

> Piracetam helps me poop better, too!

>

> I hope I have managed to bring a smile and some hope to each of you today.

> I will keep the group updated. I will let you know when I hit my anxiety and

> sadness again.

>

> Then I will come back and tell you when I start my next cycle.

> If the improvements continue for me - I will issue a strong edict that

everyone

> jump on the piracetam train!

>

> Good luck. Good night.

>

Posted March 18, 2011 · March 18, 2011

Well I must say I am very very intrigued so I ordered some. If what you say is

true, then we can at least have a long window into what it used to feel like.

Then we could take it on a regular basis and lead a somewhat normal life.

Then we if are really REALLY lucky this may actually induce recovery and we wont

have to take it forever. That would be just amazing.

>

> I bought the cheapest one I could find on Google. It's called " Nooracetam " .

> It was $20 with shipping for 90 pills. One pill lasts me at least 3 days!

> I HIGHLY recommend taking small doses with 2 fish oil pills. The fish oil

makes

> a big difference.

>

> I have heard many people say that they get headaches, especially after several

> days...because their choline supply is used up. I feel fine for two to three

> weeks because I am taking tiny doses. I will try it with choline supplements

on

> my next round.

>

> Yes, in my first two months I felt numbness in many parts of my body. The

lower

> on the body, the worse it seemed. The bottoms of my feet were numb, and yes my

> thighs too. BUT the most noticeable was the penis, testicles, and anus which,

in

> contrast to their normal status, were obviously numb. I was surprised that my

> penis seemed completely weightless. The ligaments that suspend the organ from

> the body are used to feeling the gentle tugging downward caused by gravity.

But

> suddenly the organ had zero mass to it. Make sense?

>

> Yes, the piracetam can cause its own type of anxiety, but I find this is

> completely avoided by taking very small doses. I literally open the capsule,

> pour about 15% of the powder out, then lick it off a plate! It tastes bitter,

> but dissolves much quicker on the tongue than other medications. I take this

> dose normally twice a day. By day two or three, you should notice a big

change.

> When I was at my worst, I noticed the change within hours of the first dose.

>

> IF you chose to take a whole capsule, don't worry too much about the anxiety,

> because it is not nearly as bad as what you have already been through! It

feels

> different. Mainly, I feel irritated and argumentative for a couple of hours -

> but not too much physical tension. This unpleasant part will go away after a

few

> hours. You will feel the increased blood-flow right behind your forehead! It

> tickles for several hours.....much better than the constant 'head pressure' I

> had before. You can really feel the brain juices flowing!

>

> Now the BIG question: Does the piracetam halt the normal healing process?

> My answer: maybe, but I doubt it.

>

> Bigger question: does it 'undo' the healing process?

> My answer: I am nearly certain that it doesn't!

>

> I have cycled on and off this medication 3 times already. I am about to go for

> number 4.

> Each time I discontinue usage, my feeling of numbness and anxiety return, but

> not NEARLY as badly as before. In other words, after 3-4 weeks of taking the

> piracetam I do NOT slide all the way back to where I was before the cycle. It

> takes several days to a week to notice feelings of sadness. It really sneaks

up

> on me, though. I have to remind myself that it is supposed to happen.

>

> In schizophrenia, piracetam DOES alleviate symptoms, but it does not " alter

> their diseased state " .

>

> I believe we are suffering from a type of schizophrenia. That is why so many

of

> us are frantic or constantly obsessed with our horrid symptoms. Schizophrenia

is

> associated with an overabundance of dopamine. I think a lack of serotonin

> receptors is causing our dopamine pathways to remain disconnected. The body's

> response is to push on your fight/flight reflex, which releases adrenaline and

> cortisol all day. After days or weeks of that crap, you freak out, causing the

> built-up dopamine to 'spill over' into the nearby pathways. You have just made

> some new connections every time you freak out! That is another great reason to

> exercise people! Maybe the piracetam is simply allowing the dopamine to get

> where it wants to go...

>

> I have also noticed that with each cycle - my orgasms continue to get

stronger!

> This is a sign that the brain adaptations are still happening!

> Either the healing process starts up again between cycles OR it never stops

> during the cycles!

> This is the bottom line to me. I haven't noticed a halting in my progress. It

is

> a continuous forward march!

>

> Also, at the end of my first cycle, the 'over-stimulation' I felt from the

> piracetam was more severe than the last two cycles. I was taking 2 whole pills

> per day. One day early on I was so excited by the changes I took 5 pills in

one

> day. I felt so stimulated by it I stayed up reading all night! I even did my

> resume at 6 AM! But the next day really sucked. I was freezing cold, tremors

all

> over, and had a terrible headache. I learned my lesson and reduced my dose.

Then

> I was fine.

>

> By the end of the month, I was starting to have weird 'eye jerks'. The muscles

> under my right eyelid would twitch ever so slightly, but lightening fast.

> Sometimes 10-15 twitches in a row, up to 20 times a day! This is called a

> myoclonic seisure. It was not painful or scary, but it was irritating enough

to

> tell me to stop taking it. After a week off the drug, my eye jerks went away

for

> good. They have not yet returned. Please keep in mind that my first cycle was

my

> most intense, because of the higher dose and the proximity to my MDMA abuse.

>

> The break after my first cycle lasted a month. Within a week I started to cry

> and feel empty again, but the head-pressure and tingling in my brain came back

> too. By 10 days, I was having my first anxiety attack, and I realized that the

> healing process was STILL going on! The next day, I felt great! I didn't need

> the piracetam to 'break through' these attacks. It was all too similar to the

> way I 'broke through' them before the first cycle.

>

> Then my second cycle was much smaller doses. I had little or NO anxiety while

on

> it. After another month on it, I felt very mild headaches and slight

> stimulation. It feels like the drug starts to build up in my system after

taking

> it for a while. The stimulation is wonderful in the first three weeks! Then,

it

> starts to increase ever so slightly towards unpleasantness. When I stopped

> taking it in week four, I noticed that the stimulation tapered down over

several

> days. During this 'tapering off' period, I actually felt BETTER. My brain

began

> thinking faster and processing thoughts and feelings like I was in week one

> again! It seems to me there is a sweet spot with this medication.

>

> My third cycle was unusual, because I didn't wait a whole month in between.

This

> time it was my wife's anxiety that caused me to start up again. She was having

a

> hard time dealing with me going back and forth, and frankly she wanted sex.

:-)

> So I started my dosing again after only a 10 day break. Once again, all the

> positive changes occurred - my penis felt great....my orgasms were even BETTER

> than the second cycle. BUT I have found that only 2 weeks back on the

piracetam

> is necessary to feel over-stimulated again.

>

> I am now 4 days off the medication again. I am just now starting to feel down,

> again. But it feels like this time will be easier than the last. After all, I

am

> sitting here typing like mad, so I can't be that bad yet! I won't be so sure

> until another week has passed. I will keep all of you posted. I am considering

> doing two week long cycles instead of 30 days.

> If the next cycle on the piracetam sees yet ANOTHER improvement in sexual

> function, I will consider it absolute PROOF that I am NOT reversing the

progress

> I have made!

>

> NOTE: the strangest thing I have noticed during my on/off cycles has to do

with

> my shit.

> When I am off the drug, my poop comes out a much lighter color - an indication

> that bile production has gone down. It also is less 'formed' - meaning that

> muscle contractions in the intestines are lessened.

>

> When I go back ON the drug, my poop becomes immediately darker and more

formed.

> Obviously so.

> I am not crazy, just a little obsessive. And comfortable with my anus!

> I have looked at every bowel movement since this began, and I can safely say

> this correlation holds up EVERY time.

> Piracetam helps me poop better, too!

>

> I hope I have managed to bring a smile and some hope to each of you today.

> I will keep the group updated. I will let you know when I hit my anxiety and

> sadness again.

>

> Then I will come back and tell you when I start my next cycle.

> If the improvements continue for me - I will issue a strong edict that

everyone

> jump on the piracetam train!

>

> Good luck. Good night.

>

Posted March 18, 2011 · March 18, 2011

The short answer is Yes.The longer answer would be: not so much anymore, but very much so in the beginning.In the first two months of my recovery, I would say 'unhuman' is the best term to describe myself.I told my wife I was never going to be the same person again, and how sorry I was for that.I told her and others that I wasn't even a human being!I felt like a 90 yr. old man! And not just because of my intestines, either.Emotionally I felt detached and blunted. The only emotions I had were SEVERE anxiety, depression, overwhelming sadness and grief, and on good days - complete flatness. The absence of emotion.I felt like my physical body was no longer attached to my emotions. I could have cut

off a limb and hardly felt regret!My brain was able to operate my physical body only in a mechanical sense. There was no meaning to any sensation or bodily function. The closest I came to feeling human during this period was sitting in the shower in scalding hot water for 2 hours everyday. Even that brought little relief.Memory? I laugh at this one....because the fear and grief were SO extreme that memory seemed of little importance.My analogy was this: every single day i was attending my own funeral. I got to relive my own death over and over again! All I could do was grieve the loss of myself.Why would I have any decent memory during such a period?If your spouse or parents or child were to die today, and the funeral were tomorrow....and you spent the next few weeks in disbelief and grief....wouldn't you EXPECT to have a memory problems?If I put such a person through a series of

memory tests, like word recall....I doubt they would be able to concentrate at all!So, my Italian friend, do not expect your memory to return to normal until the grief is past. Do not beat yourself up more than you already are. Understand that you are fighting through one of the hardest circumstances a person can survive.You are attending your own funeral everyday. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to rage! My guess is you can still feel these negative feelings, even if all the positive ones are gone.If you are truly flat and blunted all the time....I encourage you to embrace your darker emotions. Fear and sadness and rage have helped me more than I ever imagined they would. They made me 'human' again.To: SSRIsex Sent: Fri, March 18, 2011 2:52:45 PMSubject: Re: Former MDMA user offers medication advice!

Are u experiencing blunting of emotions and severe memory problems from your reaction?

Posted March 19, 2011 · March 19, 2011

Hey mate I want to thank you for your contributions so far. I think of all

people on this group you have made the most effort to theorize about what our

problem is attributable to.

In any case I would like to hear more about your theory.

You think this has a lot to do with the stomach and I think you are right. When

i started my lexapro back in 06 (off in march 2010) I remember having horrible

stomach and IBS symptoms, food sensitivities you name it. This still continues,

especially the food sensitivities part. When i eat a full meal, any libido I had

turns off.

The only thing, right now, that gives me libido is coffee. I wonder...

In any case. Right after CTing my lexapro i did have genital numbness but not

the full lower body numbness that developed several months later. I lost all

morning erections, which eventually came back and now erections are better but I

couldnt have sex right now. I simply wouldnt be turned on enough to maintain an

erection or climax. As is its hard to climax with porn, and I couldnt do it

without porn.

I ordered some piracetam and am hoping that has the same effect on me as it had

with you. A month back I trialed with dostinex a bit and that had some great

effects.

So are you theorizing that this numbness isnt so much damage (irreversible) as a

switch that has been turned off.

And you really think each time youve cycled off and then back on piracetem that

you have gotten better?

-Ben

>

> The short answer is Yes.

> The longer answer would be: not so much anymore, but very much so in the

> beginning.

>

> In the first two months of my recovery, I would say 'unhuman' is the best term

> to describe myself.

> I told my wife I was never going to be the same person again, and how sorry I

> was for that.

> I told her and others that I wasn't even a human being!

> I felt like a 90 yr. old man! And not just because of my intestines, either.

>

> Emotionally I felt detached and blunted.

> The only emotions I had were SEVERE anxiety, depression, overwhelming sadness

> and grief, and on good days - complete flatness. The absence of emotion.

>

> I felt like my physical body was no longer attached to my emotions. I could

have

> cut off a limb and hardly felt regret!

> My brain was able to operate my physical body only in a mechanical sense.

There

> was no meaning to any sensation or bodily function. The closest I came to

> feeling human during this period was sitting in the shower in scalding hot

water

> for 2 hours everyday. Even that brought little relief.

>

> Memory? I laugh at this one....because the fear and grief were SO extreme that

> memory seemed of little importance.

> My analogy was this: every single day i was attending my own funeral. I got to

> relive my own death over and over again! All I could do was grieve the loss of

> myself.

>

> Why would I have any decent memory during such a period?

> If your spouse or parents or child were to die today, and the funeral were

> tomorrow....and you spent the next few weeks in disbelief and

grief....wouldn't

> you EXPECT to have a memory problems?

> If I put such a person through a series of memory tests, like word recall....I

> doubt they would be able to concentrate at all!

>

> So, my Italian friend, do not expect your memory to return to normal until the

> grief is past. Do not beat yourself up more than you already are. Understand

> that you are fighting through one of the hardest circumstances a person can

> survive.

>

> You are attending your own funeral everyday.

> Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to rage!

> My guess is you can still feel these negative feelings, even if all the

positive

> ones are gone.

> If you are truly flat and blunted all the time....I encourage you to embrace

> your darker emotions.

>

> Fear and sadness and rage have helped me more than I ever imagined they would.

> They made me 'human' again.

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: SSRIsex

> Sent: Fri, March 18, 2011 2:52:45 PM

> Subject: Re: Former MDMA user offers medication advice!

>

> Are u experiencing blunting of emotions and severe memory problems from your

> reaction?

>

Posted March 19, 2011 · March 19, 2011

I've taken piracetam in both low and high doses and recieved zero benefit. Amongst all the sups I've tried it rates pretty poorly. So, for those trying it, your mileage may vary.Subject: Re: Former MDMA user offers medication advice!To: SSRIsex Received: Friday, 18 March, 2011, 3:13 AM