Re: Brain damage - Really worried

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Thank you all for replying. Sam Sam, I think I understand (I knew this stuff

before, but i've forgot it all..). The more damage it did (motivation and more

lethargic in specific still didn't recovered, think it will take a long time).

I will try the exercizing, but it will be hard cause I'm consantly low on

energy..

To kavey: Yes on the MDMA (XTC) I could be more 'horney' or wanting to cuddle or

have sex with my girlfriend. 6 hours post-MDMA I even was more active 'smarter'

then before. The MDMA 'magic' was totally gone, but it left me somehow

energised.

When I slept the next day with my girlfriend I was more into cuddling and

kissing.

But that went away 2 days later, leaving me even more empty. But from my

experience, I think it could help with the sexual stuff.

Cocaine is for me a total killer. It makes me self centered, anxious, paranoid,

apathic, and it shrinks your dick. Hate that stuff.....

Ever since I've started on Seroquel XR + Cymbalta, I've became more apathic,

emotionless,

but way less anxious and stressed. Yesterday I went out with my girlfriend, saw

all of her really hot girlfriends (one of her gf was even in porn buisiness )

and normally I would be anxious, but I wasn't, I was apathic and didn't talk

much, but was able to be there without stressing, and I left a good impression.

After this, we went to her place, slept in a huge bed, and we DID have sex.

The first 30min didn't go so well. I just couldn't get 'm hard as I wanted, and

didn't feel much either. The penitration wasn't deep. After 30 min I gave up.

Then we slept naked close together, and after an hour lying there, I got a

harder erection.

I penetrated her, didn't feel much (my dick is as numb as somebody's elbow I

think), but I fucked her. Then she got on top, and fucked me till I came. The

whole thing was totally pleasureless, but I did have sex

The best thing was she was really understanding and open with it, told me I

could do whatever I want to her, and if it didn't work out, it would be fine.

In general, now, on the seroquel + cymbalta, i'm less depressed. I hate the side

effects,

but without it, i'm under a huge amount off stress, can't do what I want, sit

there and feel horrible.. Allmost psychotic. Which is killing my brain in a

faster rate then the meds I think.

My memory gets worse, I 'dissociate' from my feelings more often.. Have no idea

what I'm doing or saying.. Now I feel like it's getting better.

I guess I'm going to be on these meds for a long time, I just have too.

Good luck to you all.

> >

> > I think I can help.

> >

> > First, 200 mg is NOT an overdose, my friend.

> > Most tabs weigh easily over that amount, some go over 400mg.

> > However, it is common for these pills to contain only 100-150 mg of

> MDMA.

> > The rest can be harmless fillers, or nasty adulterants.

> > The only way to know if adulterants are present is to test for them.

> >

> > Even IF your dose was ALL MDMA, 200 mg is NOT overdoing it.

> > The 'active' dose normally used in clinical settings is 150mg.

> > Quite a few recreational users will take 300-500mg.

> >

> > The real problem was re-dosing.

> > Most of the 'damage' you did was from taking the extra doses.

> > Even in healthy people, this is recognized as a VERY bad idea.

> > Experienced users will tell others to NEVER roll two days in a row.

> >

> > Scientific research proves that re-dosing increases the damage done by

> the drug.

> > Re-dosing should ONLY be done in small quantities and before 3 hours

> have passed

> > since the first dose.

> > Really high doses of Vit C may offer anti-oxidant protection. Feeling

> hot is

> > also very bad, as increases in core body temperature have also been

> proven to

> > increase toxicity. You should have removed clothing and applied cold,

> wet rags

> > to your face and neck.

> >

> > Many people experience a 'loss of magic' from MDMA.

> > Abstinence from the drug is the only SURE way to regain the

> experience, but some

> > users will take Piracetam for a day beforehand. They claim this

> restores a LOT

> > of the original experience AND it makes the recovery much easier.

> >

> > It is possible that your serotonin network was simply incapable of

> processing

> > the drug, which is why you experienced no euphoria. The fever was also

> a sign of

> > a problem. Most people do NOT experience more than moderate skin

> flushing on

> > MDMA.

> >

> > Many users experience a week of severe depression following a 'binge'

> like

> > yours.

> > This is not uncommon, at all.

> > However, you were less well-equipped for it due to your pre-existing

> condition.

> > Perhaps you did set yourself back, but you didn't take enough to do as

> much harm

> > as you fear.

> >

> > It will take lots of time to recover to your previous point.

> > Probably a few months.

> > The seroquel is an anti-psychotic medication and it is probably making

> your lack

> > of emotion worse.

> > Stopping it may increase your anxiety, so you should mention it to

> your doctor

> > and plan a tapering schedule. But you should regain some of your

> emotions...

> >

> > The only thing other than TIME that is shown to cause axonal sprouting

> in the

> > serotonin network is EXERCISE. Working out releases a protein called

> BDNF. This

> > protein stimulates the release of stem cells into several brain

> regions,

> > including the cortex. For some reason, it has a direct and profound

> impact upon

> > serotonin axons. They respond like you wouldn't believe.

> >

> > Not all re-sprouting is permanent, but some of it will be.

> > Exercise every day and get off the seroquel.

> > That is your best bet.

> >

> > By the way, taking MDMA is NOT a good idea for you because your

> prefrontal

> > cortex is no longer attached to the network. You simply cannot

> experience the

> > effects of the drug like other people. At least not for a LONG time. I

> would

> > wait until you have made significant progress in recovery before

> trying it

> > again.

> >

> > Serotonin itself may not be the key to the magic of MDMA.

> > It is believed that the rush of serotonin causes a targeted release of

> dopamine

> > down the reward pathway in the Prefrontal Cortex. Other drugs can

> directly

> > increase dopamine, without affecting serotonin.

> >

> > That is why drinking TEA can make you feel so good. Caffeine is a

> dopamine

> > stimulator.

> > Cocaine is too, a rather potent one. Try it again in a few months,

> when you have

> > recovered from the MDMA. It should do something for you.

> >

> > Avoid regular use. Stimulants may work for people like us, but they

> also

> > represent a greater risk if use goes beyond occasional. Meth is WAY

> too

> > powerful, so you should avoid it altogether. Cocaine is probably a

> safer bet,

> > but be aware that long-term use of cocaine is associated with a more

> permanent

> > loss of dopamine activity. It is not understood why, but some cocaine

> users take

> > 5-10 years to approach normal, when other stimulant abusers typically

> recover in

> > 1-2.

> >

> > I recommend Yohimbine bark extract. The erection is gives me is so

> hard it

> > HURTS, even after sex is over. It takes way too long to go away....so

> take a

> > SMALL dose. Make sure it is a liquid extract, not pills.

> >

> > Be careful, and lay off the damn serotonin drugs.

> > They just won't work for you yet.

> >

> > Good luck.

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: Dirkske yarule@

> > To: SSRIsex

> > Sent: Fri, June 10, 2011 12:28:22 PM

> > Subject: Brain damage - Really worried

> >

> >

> > Hi y'all,

> >

> > It's been a while since i've posted here, there has happened a lot....

> >

> > First, I've got a girlfriend now, who'm I've met in a psychiatric

> hospital,

> > she's really hot and sexy, so I should be happy, but i don't feel

> better, or

> > love, I sometimes feel more stress.

> > On ocasions I feel good when I'm with her.

> >

> > But what I'm worried about.. It's like there is nothing in my head

> annymore. I

> > don't understand social situations annymore, I say stupid things, It's

> like i

> > don't know what I'm doing annymore. I can't even think :/

> >

> > It went a bit better with me 3 weeks ago, I felt a bit more energy.

> > But then I fucked up. I went to a party with her (wasn't planning to,

> but I

> > don't know what I'm doing so I just went). First we went to a friend

> of her, who

> > had MDMA powder. I know this stuff is dangerous, but at that time, I

> had

> > terrible anxiety that I couldn't think, so I took some powder. (it

> kind off was

> > some kind of experiment too).

> >

> > What it did to me: It didn't change the way my head was working, I

> still had

> > nothing to say or was interested in saying something. Still didn't

> know what I

> > was doing, but my anxiety went away. I got really hot inside, felt

> some relief,

> > no euphoria or something, but it did gave me some energy and

> motivation.

> > Normally I would be dead tired at 9 PM but I partied till 5. Didn't

> know the

> > time went that fast. I was completely 'zoned out' all the time.

> >

> > I took about 200mg of MDMA I think, wich is a huge overdose. Next

> morning I

> > slept next to her (no sex :/) but felt okay, we cuddled a bit. And

> when we woke

> > up, we took some more MDMA powder.

> > At the evening another hit of 100mg, and then I felt hot again inside,

> went to

> > bed and fell asleep directly.

> >

> > Ever since this experience, it went a bit worse for me. My 'brain

> damage'

> > increased. My memory has gotten worse, my anxiety, my zombie

> beïng.; etc.

> > stupid thing to do.. 300mg of MDMA .. normal people would take 120mg

> or so, and

> > I'm really skinny .. 50kg.

> >

> > In that week, me and her took some cocaine, twice, about half a gram

> (2 x 4 big

> > lines).

> > The first line made me feel better, but still zombie-like, no

> personallity, and

> > the next lines made me paranoïd. This has been a week ago, still

> feel like hell.

> >

> > What i'm worried about is that drugs that release huge amounts of

> chemicals

> > still don't 'fix' my brain damage, they even add up to it. I didn't

> even feel

> > pleasure.

> > Is there annyone that has recovered from this? I have the problems you

> guys are

> > having, but 10 times worse. I even have parkingson like movements

> (hand tremor

> > and wood-like movements of arms).

> >

> > I can't even feel a tiny bit of love for my girlfriend. I'm so apathic

> :/ Can't

> > even talk to her, becouse i don't understand what she's saying, and

> it's like I

> > don't give a damn what she is saying. I have no more internal world.

> >

> > Is there annyone that can give me some hope? I became so stupid, like

> IQ 90 or

> > so.

> >

> > PS. Now I'm on 100mg seroquel XR + 15mg cymbalta (duloxetine, SNRI).

> >

>