Guest guest Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 Hi Ann, Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. Please take rogers advice and hang on I can;t say I know what its like to experiecne effexor but I've heard from many on paxilprogress that it's absolute hell and takes quite a bit of time to get past withdrawal, as there is no doubt the suicidal thoughts and bleak outlook is the symptoms of wd. You have a reason to live and much to look forward to. Think of your kids and watching them grow up and the inevitable return to feeling like your old self once your brain heals. You can't say for definite that you are going to get alzheimers just because of your relatives. Have you thought about going back on a small dose and cutting down really slowly? If you want someone to talk to, I'm here for you. > > > About every 2-3 weeks since I stopped taking Effexor (Oct. 15) I've had > suicidal days. I had suicidal days before getting on antidepressants, > but nothing like this and not anywhere near this frequency. Actually > called the suicide hot line. Since I'm getting old, all I have to look > foward to is failing organs, loneliness, quite possibly Alzheimer's (it > mowed down two very genetically close relatives), and ugliness. I have > no interest in any of those, so my suicidal feelings on this side of the > antidepressant are more likely to end with me killing myself. > > Since I know it's the absence of Effexor that's doing this, I give up. > I went back on it yesterday, just 1/4 of the dose I was taking when I > went off (yes, I did taper). I slept well for the first time in weeks > last night. I still don't feel altogether myself, will wait to see if I > need to increase the dose. > > BTW, someone keeps saying (I forget whether it's here or at the Effexor > withdrawal site) that Effexor is especially difficult because of its > short half life (5 hrs). I talked to a pharmacist, who looked it up & > told me that the half-life of Effexor's active metabolite (meaning it's > the chemical that Effexor breaks down to that does the job) is 21 hrs. > Then I looked it up on line. Same numbers. That makes more sense for me > because I was only taking it once a day but (before trying to get off > it) never felt like my body had run out of it. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 Effexor is notorious for its withdrawal effects. I got off it as soon as I could when I learned how bad it could be. Very slowly, I have felt better until finally the bad sensations/feelings from both the med and the withdrawal diminished to nothing. The meds were indeed what were causing PSSD as well as other "depressive" symptoms. I have greatly improved with CBT. F. Bacon I give up About every 2-3 weeks since I stopped taking Effexor (Oct. 15) I've hadsuicidal days. I had suicidal days before getting on antidepressants,but nothing like this and not anywhere near this frequency. Actuallycalled the suicide hot line. Since I'm getting old, all I have to lookfoward to is failing organs, loneliness, quite possibly Alzheimer's (itmowed down two very genetically close relatives), and ugliness. I haveno interest in any of those, so my suicidal feelings on this side of theantidepressant are more likely to end with me killing myself.Since I know it's the absence of Effexor that's doing this, I give up. I went back on it yesterday, just 1/4 of the dose I was taking when Iwent off (yes, I did taper). I slept well for the first time in weekslast night. I still don't feel altogether myself, will wait to see if Ineed to increase the dose.BTW, someone keeps saying (I forget whether it's here or at the Effexorwithdrawal site) that Effexor is especially difficult because of itsshort half life (5 hrs). I talked to a pharmacist, who looked it up & told me that the half-life of Effexor's active metabolite (meaning it'sthe chemical that Effexor breaks down to that does the job) is 21 hrs. Then I looked it up on line. Same numbers. That makes more sense for mebecause I was only taking it once a day but (before trying to get offit) never felt like my body had run out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 The suicidal persona was showing up too often. I was afraid I might actually do it. I knew it was Effexor & I feel kind of defeated in going back on it but at least I'm alive. I'm really amazed at its power. Ann > > Effexor is notorious for its withdrawal effects. I got off it as soon as I could when I learned how bad it could be. Very slowly, I have felt better until finally the bad sensations/feelings from both the med and the withdrawal diminished to nothing. > > The meds were indeed what were causing PSSD as well as other " depressive " symptoms. I have greatly improved with CBT. > > F. Bacon > > I give up > > > > > About every 2-3 weeks since I stopped taking Effexor (Oct. 15) I've had > suicidal days. I had suicidal days before getting on antidepressants, > but nothing like this and not anywhere near this frequency. Actually > called the suicide hot line. Since I'm getting old, all I have to look > foward to is failing organs, loneliness, quite possibly Alzheimer's (it > mowed down two very genetically close relatives), and ugliness. I have > no interest in any of those, so my suicidal feelings on this side of the > antidepressant are more likely to end with me killing myself. > > Since I know it's the absence of Effexor that's doing this, I give up. > I went back on it yesterday, just 1/4 of the dose I was taking when I > went off (yes, I did taper). I slept well for the first time in weeks > last night. I still don't feel altogether myself, will wait to see if I > need to increase the dose. > > BTW, someone keeps saying (I forget whether it's here or at the Effexor > withdrawal site) that Effexor is especially difficult because of its > short half life (5 hrs). I talked to a pharmacist, who looked it up & > told me that the half-life of Effexor's active metabolite (meaning it's > the chemical that Effexor breaks down to that does the job) is 21 hrs. > Then I looked it up on line. Same numbers. That makes more sense for me > because I was only taking it once a day but (before trying to get off > it) never felt like my body had run out of it. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 That's alright, Ann. Try not to feel too defeated. These things are ridiculously powerful, and some people are affected more than others. Do what you have to do for now, while continuing to look for better long term solutions. > > > > Effexor is notorious for its withdrawal effects. I got off it as soon > as I could when I learned how bad it could be. Very slowly, I have felt > better until finally the bad sensations/feelings from both the med and > the withdrawal diminished to nothing. > > > > The meds were indeed what were causing PSSD as well as other > " depressive " symptoms. I have greatly improved with CBT. > > > > F. Bacon > > > > I give up > > > > > > > > > > About every 2-3 weeks since I stopped taking Effexor (Oct. 15) I've > had > > suicidal days. I had suicidal days before getting on antidepressants, > > but nothing like this and not anywhere near this frequency. Actually > > called the suicide hot line. Since I'm getting old, all I have to look > > foward to is failing organs, loneliness, quite possibly Alzheimer's > (it > > mowed down two very genetically close relatives), and ugliness. I have > > no interest in any of those, so my suicidal feelings on this side of > the > > antidepressant are more likely to end with me killing myself. > > > > Since I know it's the absence of Effexor that's doing this, I give up. > > I went back on it yesterday, just 1/4 of the dose I was taking when I > > went off (yes, I did taper). I slept well for the first time in weeks > > last night. I still don't feel altogether myself, will wait to see if > I > > need to increase the dose. > > > > BTW, someone keeps saying (I forget whether it's here or at the > Effexor > > withdrawal site) that Effexor is especially difficult because of its > > short half life (5 hrs). I talked to a pharmacist, who looked it up & > > told me that the half-life of Effexor's active metabolite (meaning > it's > > the chemical that Effexor breaks down to that does the job) is 21 hrs. > > Then I looked it up on line. Same numbers. That makes more sense for > me > > because I was only taking it once a day but (before trying to get off > > it) never felt like my body had run out of it. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 Ann -- Don't beat yourself up. It's a damn sight better to be alive, on drugs, than to be dead. If you've found that Effexor works -- especially at a reduced dose -- take it as long as it's effective. One problem with studying PSSD (if one wanted to study it) is that its symptoms have much in common with the symptoms of depression. You'd have to listen carefully to patients, and believe them when they said: .. . . " I know what _depression_ feels like -- this is different. " As for " getting old " , I don't have much to offer. My mother and grandmother died with Alzheimer's, and I worry about it as well. Along with joints that are starting to hurt, a body that heals slower than it used to, and so on. I've mostly gotten over gray hair and baldness -- been looking at them too long in the mirror. We weren't built to live " forever " -- just as long as we can. > > > About every 2-3 weeks since I stopped taking Effexor (Oct. 15) I've had > suicidal days. I had suicidal days before getting on antidepressants, > but nothing like this and not anywhere near this frequency. Actually > called the suicide hot line. Since I'm getting old, all I have to look > foward to is failing organs, loneliness, quite possibly Alzheimer's (it > mowed down two very genetically close relatives), and ugliness. I have > no interest in any of those, so my suicidal feelings on this side of the > antidepressant are more likely to end with me killing myself. > > Since I know it's the absence of Effexor that's doing this, I give up. > I went back on it yesterday, just 1/4 of the dose I was taking when I > went off (yes, I did taper). I slept well for the first time in weeks > last night. I still don't feel altogether myself, will wait to see if I > need to increase the dose. > > BTW, someone keeps saying (I forget whether it's here or at the Effexor > withdrawal site) that Effexor is especially difficult because of its > short half life (5 hrs). I talked to a pharmacist, who looked it up & > told me that the half-life of Effexor's active metabolite (meaning it's > the chemical that Effexor breaks down to that does the job) is 21 hrs. > Then I looked it up on line. Same numbers. That makes more sense for me > because I was only taking it once a day but (before trying to get off > it) never felt like my body had run out of it. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 Thanks for your support. Ann > > > > > > Effexor is notorious for its withdrawal effects. I got off it as soon > > as I could when I learned how bad it could be. Very slowly, I have felt > > better until finally the bad sensations/feelings from both the med and > > the withdrawal diminished to nothing. > > > > > > The meds were indeed what were causing PSSD as well as other > > " depressive " symptoms. I have greatly improved with CBT. > > > > > > F. Bacon > > > > > > I give up > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > About every 2-3 weeks since I stopped taking Effexor (Oct. 15) I've > > had > > > suicidal days. I had suicidal days before getting on antidepressants, > > > but nothing like this and not anywhere near this frequency. Actually > > > called the suicide hot line. Since I'm getting old, all I have to look > > > foward to is failing organs, loneliness, quite possibly Alzheimer's > > (it > > > mowed down two very genetically close relatives), and ugliness. I have > > > no interest in any of those, so my suicidal feelings on this side of > > the > > > antidepressant are more likely to end with me killing myself. > > > > > > Since I know it's the absence of Effexor that's doing this, I give up. > > > I went back on it yesterday, just 1/4 of the dose I was taking when I > > > went off (yes, I did taper). I slept well for the first time in weeks > > > last night. I still don't feel altogether myself, will wait to see if > > I > > > need to increase the dose. > > > > > > BTW, someone keeps saying (I forget whether it's here or at the > > Effexor > > > withdrawal site) that Effexor is especially difficult because of its > > > short half life (5 hrs). I talked to a pharmacist, who looked it up & > > > told me that the half-life of Effexor's active metabolite (meaning > > it's > > > the chemical that Effexor breaks down to that does the job) is 21 hrs. > > > Then I looked it up on line. Same numbers. That makes more sense for > > me > > > because I was only taking it once a day but (before trying to get off > > > it) never felt like my body had run out of it. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 -- Thank you for your support. There's no way on earth that these symptoms I've been having are just reappearance of the ones I had before I took meds. They're exaggerated by a huge factor. It's scary. I don't know how other people stayed off their antidepressants. So far, taking 1/4 tab, the main effect is that I sleep better. During the day I feel sorta flat but that sure beats feeling suicidal. Ann > > > > > > About every 2-3 weeks since I stopped taking Effexor (Oct. 15) I've had > > suicidal days. I had suicidal days before getting on antidepressants, > > but nothing like this and not anywhere near this frequency. Actually > > called the suicide hot line. Since I'm getting old, all I have to look > > foward to is failing organs, loneliness, quite possibly Alzheimer's (it > > mowed down two very genetically close relatives), and ugliness. I have > > no interest in any of those, so my suicidal feelings on this side of the > > antidepressant are more likely to end with me killing myself. > > > > Since I know it's the absence of Effexor that's doing this, I give up. > > I went back on it yesterday, just 1/4 of the dose I was taking when I > > went off (yes, I did taper). I slept well for the first time in weeks > > last night. I still don't feel altogether myself, will wait to see if I > > need to increase the dose. > > > > BTW, someone keeps saying (I forget whether it's here or at the Effexor > > withdrawal site) that Effexor is especially difficult because of its > > short half life (5 hrs). I talked to a pharmacist, who looked it up & > > told me that the half-life of Effexor's active metabolite (meaning it's > > the chemical that Effexor breaks down to that does the job) is 21 hrs. > > Then I looked it up on line. Same numbers. That makes more sense for me > > because I was only taking it once a day but (before trying to get off > > it) never felt like my body had run out of it. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 Dear Ann, I am keeping up with the conversation a day light because I am in a different time zone, so I am coming in a day late. Ann, you are stronger than me. I am having suicidal thought too and uncontrollable crying spells and I have already upped the dose back to 75. I wrote an email to my doctor and he recommended (surprise!) that I should up the dosage to 112.5 (one 75 and one 37.5). I am going to do it because I have a rather stressful job - classes begin next week. Maybe over the summer, I will try to reduce the Effexor and substitute for some Wellbutrin as you suggested. Take BLK's advice. I for one REALLY APPRECIATE your thoughtful comments on this board. You clearly do not have Alzheimer's now as your mind is very lucid. I look forward to reading your informative and spirited posts. I know it is not much to live for, but it is something! Let's work on this together! I have been at this point before and then gotten better and wondered why I was so upset previously - and you will too. Whether you go back on or stay off, I am here with you all the way wondering about your progress and what is going on. BLK, Paxil progress talks about Effexor too? What is the specific link to that? Sorry, I am not that wired in and I thought they only talked about Paxil. > > > > > > About every 2-3 weeks since I stopped taking Effexor (Oct. 15) I've had > > suicidal days. I had suicidal days before getting on antidepressants, > > but nothing like this and not anywhere near this frequency. Actually > > called the suicide hot line. Since I'm getting old, all I have to look > > foward to is failing organs, loneliness, quite possibly Alzheimer's (it > > mowed down two very genetically close relatives), and ugliness. I have > > no interest in any of those, so my suicidal feelings on this side of the > > antidepressant are more likely to end with me killing myself. > > > > Since I know it's the absence of Effexor that's doing this, I give up. > > I went back on it yesterday, just 1/4 of the dose I was taking when I > > went off (yes, I did taper). I slept well for the first time in weeks > > last night. I still don't feel altogether myself, will wait to see if I > > need to increase the dose. > > > > BTW, someone keeps saying (I forget whether it's here or at the Effexor > > withdrawal site) that Effexor is especially difficult because of its > > short half life (5 hrs). I talked to a pharmacist, who looked it up & > > told me that the half-life of Effexor's active metabolite (meaning it's > > the chemical that Effexor breaks down to that does the job) is 21 hrs. > > Then I looked it up on line. Same numbers. That makes more sense for me > > because I was only taking it once a day but (before trying to get off > > it) never felt like my body had run out of it. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 I doubt that I'm stronger than you or anyone else here. This drug is a monster that's taken over my psyche and I think it takes over people's psyches in different ways, to different degrees, etc. I have no idea what kind of mood I'll be in at any one time. I've been sitting here all day reading e-mail & other things, and as I sit here, my mood has been going down. I seem to have been set off after watching some YouTube videos about a young man who killed himself after he started taking an SSRI, then seeing some other videos that looked interesting, and ended up watching one or two that were really disturbing. I think I should go use my treadmill and see if that helps. Thank you for your compliments about my comments. For some reason, Vornan has refused to post several of my messages, no explanation. His doing that makes me feel bad about myself and it's really nice to get a compliment once in a while, and I'm grateful to all these people who posted after I posted about having to give in & start taking Effexor again. I'm also very happy to be told that I clearly don't have Alzheimer's. I forget a lot of things, and I'd like to blame that on the drugs. I so much appreciate your encouraging words. Believe it nor not, I actually do feel better just reading them. Also, it was clear the whole day I felt suicidal that it wasn't the real me, because I'd never felt so bad before, at least not at the frequency (every couple of weeks and getting closer together), before I started taking the drugs. What puzzles me is that on Effexor/Wellbutrin/Clonazepam/Trazodone I felt pretty good for 13 yrs, and in the last 2 years even had happy days, which I rarely did before meds, so I thought they were good for me. But the backlash I'm getting after stopping the Effexor is completely unexpected. I guess it's the equivalent of people whose sexual problems didn't start till they got off their drug. I just hope getting back on it will appease the Effexor god & I won't have to increase the dose much in order to feel " normal " again. And I'm also scared that I'll never feel normal again, even on the dose I was taking when I started to taper. Again, thank you and everyone who's written in after my post who were supportive, sympathetic, and caring. It's really meant a lot to me. Ann > > > > > > > > > About every 2-3 weeks since I stopped taking Effexor (Oct. 15) I've had > > > suicidal days. I had suicidal days before getting on antidepressants, > > > but nothing like this and not anywhere near this frequency. Actually > > > called the suicide hot line. Since I'm getting old, all I have to look > > > foward to is failing organs, loneliness, quite possibly Alzheimer's (it > > > mowed down two very genetically close relatives), and ugliness. I have > > > no interest in any of those, so my suicidal feelings on this side of the > > > antidepressant are more likely to end with me killing myself. > > > > > > Since I know it's the absence of Effexor that's doing this, I give up. > > > I went back on it yesterday, just 1/4 of the dose I was taking when I > > > went off (yes, I did taper). I slept well for the first time in weeks > > > last night. I still don't feel altogether myself, will wait to see if I > > > need to increase the dose. > > > > > > BTW, someone keeps saying (I forget whether it's here or at the Effexor > > > withdrawal site) that Effexor is especially difficult because of its > > > short half life (5 hrs). I talked to a pharmacist, who looked it up & > > > told me that the half-life of Effexor's active metabolite (meaning it's > > > the chemical that Effexor breaks down to that does the job) is 21 hrs. > > > Then I looked it up on line. Same numbers. That makes more sense for me > > > because I was only taking it once a day but (before trying to get off > > > it) never felt like my body had run out of it. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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