RE: USE OF PROFANITY

[Guest guest]

Thank you!

Wendi

USE OF

PROFANITY

,

I understand what you are saying, but there is a

history here that

you are not aware of because you came in late.

Do you know why this board even exists? Two

reasons:

1) It's because the board I and some others

originally came from

shut down due to foul language, abusiveness, and

trolling that got

out of control. The administrator of that

board got so frustrated

with patrolling that board -because it took up so

much of his time-

that he shut it down.

2) One of the new boards that was to be THE main

board for those

from the old board is now following the path of

the original. There

is foul language, abusiveness, and the admin of

that board enjoys

it. They have even gone so far as to pick on their

own members and

pick on FAM members who post to their board.

I had to ban the

entire administration of that board for that

reason among others.

Thus the more quiet, peaceful, and even timid

posters who have NEVER

been given a voice have been quelled on those

boards because they

are afraid to post. These are people that

may just have found out

about AS and want to learn more, or they are

people who simply want

to communicate with other Aspies, but they may not

feel comfortable

doing so because of the caustic and antagonistic nature

of those

sites.

I will not allow the same to happen here. I

want people to know

that they have a place to speak freely without

feeling threatened.

You might say I am a lone holdout, but I am not.

Greg and Debbie have also gotten fed up with abusiveness

and run

their own message boards as well.

And so you see what's happened don't you?

Rather than a unification of Aspies, we have

factionalization -all

because of a select few individuals that cannot

hold thier tongues.

I will not allow the continued degeneration of the

Aspie community

on my boards. Everyone here has freedom of speech,

but within the

confines of decent English grammar and

diction. That should be good

enough for everyone.

Tom

>

> >

Yes, as I said, I know of boards degenerating for

that very reason.

I do not want people quitting here because of

profanity. So let's

stop the nasty language, shall we?

> >

Tom,

As admin. of this group, you have every right to

legislate

guidelines for usage and I will respect them.

Having said that, I

would respectfully submit that the use of

so-called " profanity " is

rather subjective. One of the major DIS-advantages

of communicating

via E-mail is the lack of vital cues which can

greatly diminish the

possibility of misinterpretation. Facial

expression, body english,

and vocal inflection all communicate a great deal

in addition to the

actual words that are spoken. To that point, I can

understand how

some folks might needlessly get their

" knickers in a knot " over what

was otherwise an innocent attempt at humor. Personally,

I tend to

have the same perspective as Inger on this topic.

In the proper

context, the use of " profanity " simply

serves to convey emotion or

emphasize a point. I have always subscribed to the

" sticks and

stones " theory. I feel that people who let

mere words traumatize

them are severely handicapping themselves in

dealing with the

realities of everyday life. Hyper-sensitivities of

ANY kind are

stumbling blocks which will most certainly impede

your " pursuit of

happiness " . Only YOU can overcome them,

nobody else has that power.

We ALL have more than our share of obstacles that

are beyond our

control in this life.

Why not at least TRY to deal with those things

that ARE in your

control? The Twelve Step program has something

known as

the " Serenity Prayer " which I have found

quite useful. Allow me to

para-phrase:

" Help me to accept the things I cannot

change, give me courage to

change the things I can, but most important, grant

me the WISDOM to

know the difference. " One of the primary principles

that this

country was founded on is " free speech " ,

and short of yelling " fire "

in a crowded building, we all have the right (at

least for now) to

speak as we wish to. Nobody (lame attempts by the

FCC

notwithstanding) can control what another person

says, so why bother

getting upset about it? On a somewhat lighter

note, I suggest that

people who are so hung up on " language "

refer to the classic

Carlin bit: " The 7 'dirty words' you can't

say on television " .

FAM Secret

Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and acceptance.

Everyone is valued.

[Guest guest]

Ok, i don't know all thats going because i have not been reading all

the posts that come along, but apparently the use of profanity was

worse then i thought, earlier i was making light of it, but if its

that bad then let me say this, i used to run a server my self with

many games and websites on it, it DOES affect the quality of the

forum and the server that runs it and how people perceive it when

they first come too it. i know some of you may like the attention it

brings you good or bad, but on this forum you will see the people

will give you as much attention if not more so talking about other

things even personal issues that in a way would be much more

fulfilling with information then just a few giggles, and if you will

please take note the name of this forum, the key word being " family "

this is a family forum for all ages, please remember that, and some

of you have a tendency to hyperfocus on issues that irritate you so

when you see someone posting negative things you tend to want to

respond and in a way that can be just as bad, it gives the agitator

the attention they are seeking, its best simply not to respond too

them and let the administrator take care of it, and i know some of

you may come here from a long day of who knows, to where you feel the

need to talk about such things as people calling you negative names,

thats ok if its made out in the right context of explaining what your

going through and how you feel about it but at the same time you can

curb your own toung and yet still explain since many of us have

experianced much of the same things.

Administrator, i am sorry i had taken much too lightly to the

problems and issues here, your doing a good job.

Tim

[Guest guest]

environmental1st2003 <no_reply > wrote:

,I understand what you are saying, but there is a history here that you are not aware of because you came in late.

True enough, I am still in "new guy" mode.

Do you know why this board even exists? Two reasons:1) It's because the board I and some others originally came from shut down due to foul language, abusiveness, and trolling that got out of control. The administrator of that board got so frustrated with patrolling that board -because it took up so much of his time- that he shut it down.

It's a sad fact of life that there will always be cowards who feel the need to pump themselves up by tearing others down. This happens regardless of whether you are on a message board or in the real world. The most noticable distinction is that these cretins have a whole lot more courage with a screen name to hide behind. This type of fake bravery always seems to evaporate in a face to face meeting. My point is that when you let the actions of others control your life, THEY WIN! Granted, if there are rules and regs established for participation in this (or any other) group, they should be observed. However, I have never seen the logic in relinquishing my sense of purpose and self-determination in deference to the misdeeds of others. Is reality perception, or is perception reality?

These are people that may just have found out about AS and want to learn more, or they are people who simply want to communicate with other Aspies, but they may not feel comfortable doing so because of the caustic and antagonistic nature of those sites.

I probably fall into that catagory as well. Although my research is not limited to this site exclusively, I find that some of the threads here provide valuable insight.

I will not allow the same to happen here. I want people to know that they have a place to speak freely without feeling threatened.

A noble aspiration. One of my favorite Latin adages (more of that Catholic education) seems to apply here:

"ILLEGITIMUS NON CARBORUNDUM"

Keep on fighting the good fight, Tom. Surely it's an uphill battle.

__________________________________________________