Worried Mom of Stubborn Child

[Guest guest]

I said " stubborn " in my title as a descriptive term of behavior (not

criticizing my son). I am growing very worried about my 11 yr old son

whom I brought home this year to homeschool because he has Asperger's

Syndrome and the schools just destroyed him. He unfortunately entered

public school from Montessori in the 4th grade and because the

curriculums were so different, he was WAY behind in math when

starting fourth grade in P.S. The other kids and teachers there made

him feel stupid and inadequate and then because of the A.S. issues,

he never quite adapted so basically floundered for two years (4th &

5th grades). One teacher even made him stand and announce his failing

math grades to the class! Can you believe it?

Enter Mom-the-Rescuer with Masters Degree (moi) who has decided out

of love and concern for her child to remediate and " fix " what the

schools have done to him. We started out well enough, getting adapted

to the new environment and routine, adjusting the schedule and

classes as necesary...and then Florida was hit with four hurricanes

back to back which threw everyone off schedule and routine (and as

those of you familiar with A.S. know, this can be disastrous with

these kids).

Ever since the last storm, I have been struggling EVERY DAY to get my

son back on task. Struggle is perhaps too gentle a word....it is all-

out war. He stubbornly refuses to do ANYTHING no matter what the

consequences and nothing phases him (not loss of TV, not loss of

video games, not loss of play time with friends, nothing). Because of

the daily tension around here due to this, everyone's apple cart is

off-kilter (family, pets, extracurriculars, everything). I'm growing

very concerned that I could receive an order from the schools for an

inspection of portfolio (afterall, he DOES have an IEP so they are

aware of him) and I will have shown NOTHING for three weeks and

counting now. While he has not made progress in getting through

typical " curriculum " as a result....he has been spending time

building things, taking care of animals, practicing yoga (he has his

own coach for relaxation), attending his choir, drama classes, and

doing general interest reading but all work in math, grammar, etc has

come to a screeching halt with his refusal to do anything " school

related. " When I try to talk to him about the consequences of this

path (both for him AND for me), he says he doesn't care, that he's

just " stupid " anyway, doesn't plan on ever going to college or

working, and if I get in trouble for not teaching him then so be it.

There's a whole separate issue of complication involving his Dad

(also A.S. and more so, unemployed, home 24/7, depressed, anger-

management problems, not terribly supportive of H.S. efforts). This I

will deal with when I solve the first issue detailed above.

I have spoken with my son's parent advocate at the Univ of Miami

C.A.R.D. Center (center for autism related disabilities) and he has

strongly recommended I get my son in counseling (oh GOOD! ANOTHER

thing to try to fit in somewhere and pay for!).

I desperately need to find a local support group (and I do mean

LOCAL) to get involved with in activities that might jump start the

process of getting him back in his groove. Every group I've located

so far is either too far away, the children are too young, or they

are far more religious than we can comfortabley be around. Anyone

have suggestions on either how to deal with issues detailed above OR

know of a group in the Pembroke Pines/Hollywood Florida area?