To Wendi: Doing nothing

[Guest guest]

Wendi,

I like to go on overnight trips to get away from it all, during

which I may see a museum or zoo during the day, watch a movie in the

evening, and soak in a tub at night (and I even bring along cleaning

cleanser and a scouring pad to make sure the tub is clean.)

Seeing as you have kids, that might not be an option for you. So

why don't you see if you can convince you husband to take them away

for the weekend? Maybe to his parents house or something.

You ought to pack them off having the mindset that you will do

NOTHING over the weekend that you would usually do (such as laundry

or housework or whatever). Make sure that stuff is done before he

leaves.

Then do what ever you want while they're gone. Surf the net, talk

to friends on the phone, do some crafts. For dinner, get something

to eat from a fast food restaurant or just a plain restaurant.

As evening comes on, watch your favorite video and make popcorn.

Have a hot bath or shower afterwards in which the purpose is not to

get clean but just to enjoy the feeling of hot water flowing over

you like a massage. (Personally, I like to lie in a tub full of

hot, sudsy water AND have the shower running). Then curl up in bed

and gather all the covers around you as comfy as you can and go to

sleep.

Indulge yourself, in other words. Sometimes treating yourself well

can go a long way toward making you feel relaxed moreso than

meditation can.

You can have the perfect marriage and the perfect family, but

everyone needs some alone time, especially Aspies, and you cannot go

through your life denying yourself this pleasure. Just a few

weekends a year ought to make a difference.

Tom

I wish I could just really do NOTHING! Can anyone here just relax

and clear your mind, or is your mind always busy thinking and

analyzing something even if it looks like you are doing nothing? If

so, please let me know HOW??? I took a class on relaxation

techniques in college (believe it or not) and never found a way to

just RELAX.

Wendi

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid I have to agree with Wendi, Tom. Sometimes it's

impossible to find relaxation you're mentioning.

In my situation, I'm an Aspie who is also the single entrepreneur

mom of an Aspie. I have no family. My ex isn't anywhere in the

picture (of his own choosing btw not by my insistence) and his

family has followed suit. We moved to the city we now live 2 years

ago and I haven't been able to 'socialize' because that means making

arrangements with an appropriate sitter and things are such that

this just isn't a possibility. I can't just use the local teenaged

babysitter and I haven't the resources to hire a qualified person.

Undoubtedly a few weekends a year would do me a world of good, but

at last count, I've been sleep deprived for 113 months at this point

and have only been away from my child (with appropriate supervision)

a grand total of 6 days in that same period of time.

Just when I have a chance to sit down and slow down, a million other

things on the " MUST GET DONE " list start screaming for attention

and, truth be told, a lot of those things just can't wait any longer.

Raven " have you ever done speed-meditation " the AS mom raising the

AS son

>

> I wish I could just really do NOTHING! Can anyone here just relax

> and clear your mind, or is your mind always busy thinking and

> analyzing something even if it looks like you are doing nothing?

If

> so, please let me know HOW??? I took a class on relaxation

> techniques in college (believe it or not) and never found a way to

> just RELAX.

>

> Wendi