Guest guest Posted September 9, 2004 Report Share Posted September 9, 2004 Hi came across something I wrote a while back in my diary. I like to keep diaries, because I like to keep my own record of events to look back on; rather than rely on memory alone. About Christmas time 2003 I'd wrote; 'I'd rather be alone and lonely, than in a relationship and lonely' and I was actually going out with someone at the time (still am actually), was just missing them. Just wondered what other people felt? Would you rather be alone than be with someone for the sake of it? I do know of people who feel they have to be in a relationship, despite the quality of the relationship. I personally stand by my above statement Bye 4 now, Greebo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2004 Report Share Posted September 9, 2004 Whoops, subject box was meant to say 'Alone', typing error and I do not know how to edit it? Greebo > Hi > > came across something I wrote a while back in my diary. I like to > keep diaries, because I like to keep my own record of events to look > back on; rather than rely on memory alone. > > About Christmas time 2003 I'd wrote; 'I'd rather be alone and lonely, > than in a relationship and lonely' and I was actually going out with > someone at the time (still am actually), was just missing them. > > Just wondered what other people felt? Would you rather be alone than > be with someone for the sake of it? I do know of people who feel they > have to be in a relationship, despite the quality of the > relationship. I personally stand by my above statement > > Bye 4 now, > Greebo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2004 Report Share Posted September 9, 2004 Couple things: 1) Unfortunately, Yahoo does not permit us to go back and edit our posts, which I also find limiting and annoying. We can only delete them and retype. 2) In answer to your question, some of the times I feel the most alone are when I am in relationships or friendships with other people and they simply do not undertand me as a person. Disagreeing or not understanding viewpoints I can clearly understand and accept. My problem is that after a relationship or a friendship goes on in time, one would think that the other COULD and would come to " know " me as a person as I have come to " know " them. Granted, there is no way that anyone can know everything there is to know about someone else, and a person can only " know " another person by what they see and hear and experience together, and yet, each new fact ought to be able to help others form impressions or ideas about who I am. After being in a relationship or a friendship for a while, I often find it an utter shock that the person I have spent months or even years with really doesn't know me beyond the surface level. My feelings after this revelation tend to range from shock -as I have said earlier- to indignation, to anger, to disappointment. But the worst of all these feelings is lonliness. The idea that I am misunderstood by someone I have spent so much time with, or the idea that someone else hasn't made the effort to understand me makes it seem almost as though I have been used. Whereas it seems to me sometimes that the person I am with has made continuing and desparate efforts to get to know other people. Why I should take a back seat in terms of " getting to know you " priority, I cannot say. Perhaps my differences as an Aspie may account for someone not wanting to get to know me on a deep level. It hurts terribly. And so, in answer to your question, I would rather be alone than with someone for the sake of it. Being with someone who does not really care that you are there -even though that person can provide companionship and valuable insights into life and its experiences- is just not worth it to me. On the other hand, this is me. other people seem to be able to maintain various levels of friendship and be satisfied with it. I am not saying either my view or theirs is right or wrong. All I can say is what I feel holds true for me. Tom > Hi > > came across something I wrote a while back in my diary. I like to > keep diaries, because I like to keep my own record of events to look > back on; rather than rely on memory alone. > > About Christmas time 2003 I'd wrote; 'I'd rather be alone and lonely, > than in a relationship and lonely' and I was actually going out with > someone at the time (still am actually), was just missing them. > > Just wondered what other people felt? Would you rather be alone than > be with someone for the sake of it? I do know of people who feel they > have to be in a relationship, despite the quality of the > relationship. I personally stand by my above statement > > Bye 4 now, > Greebo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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