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Re: Friends

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>

> Okay, we've talked about bullies. Anyone care to comment on what

> makes up a true friend and what we can do to establish, keep, and

> maintain better friendships?

>

> Tom

academically i bet we all know how to.

but is it acctually applied?

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A true friend is someone who accepts your querks and dosn't try to

change you. Someone who likes you as is.

On Mon, 22 Nov 2004 18:23:10 -0000, environmental1st2003

<no_reply > wrote:

>

>

> Okay, we've talked about bullies. Anyone care to comment on what

> makes up a true friend and what we can do to establish, keep, and

> maintain better friendships?

>

> Tom

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and

acceptance. Everyone is valued. Always remember that.

>

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That depends on what you think a true friend is.

My version of a true friendship seems to be the opposite of what

neurotypicals would call a true friendship.

I believe that a true friendship is one where you can leave off for

years, and when you come back, nothing has changed between you and

your friend, and there is no anger between you and the other party

for the long absence.

I believe that a true friendship is a meeting of the minds. It's

where you and your friend know what the other is going to say before

you say it, and you love them for it. It's where they think as you

do, for the most part, and you like to spend as much time together as

possible, because you want to get to know them more, but at the same

time, you recognize that they have a life of their own, and you let

them live it so that they can be, and grow into, themselves.

It's love, only on a platonic level.

Friends never tell you anything. They share things with you.

Friends never lie to you to save you from hearing what you don't want

to hear. They share with you what you don't want to hear because you

need to hear it.

A true friendship is one where the friend does what is necessary to

HELP you, not what is necessary to make you feel better in a time of

need.

When the going gets tough, sometimes they will be tougher on you

because that's what's best for you. But such friends are not your

teachers, or your superiors, they are souls like yours that cry for

you because they have suffered aspects of your pain. They do not

know your pain, but they can feel it.

THAT is the epitome of friendship: Souls reaching to souls and

joining and embracing each other in a spiritual bonding of brotherly

love.

Dare anyone become a true friend to one another?

Tom

> >

Okay, we've talked about bullies. Anyone care to comment on what

makes up a true friend and what we can do to establish, keep, and

maintain better friendships?

> >

> > Tom

>

academically i bet we all know how to.

but is it acctually applied?

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Tom,

I agree wholeheartedly with your definition. Popular definitions of

friendship tend not to encompass the unconditional love and the

total acceptance of the other, as-is.

I see so many people lose themselves and their identities in trying

to conform and be copies of one another, calling it a true

profession of friendship. Bah! Not for me, that type.

When you have a soul-level acceptance and (platonic) unconditional

love of someone, I believe you can indeed have a lapse of years and

then come back together as intimately as ever. I have a rare few

friends with whom this is true, so I count myself exceptionally

blessed.

Respecting the other's individual path and being, as much as we want

to be with them because we have experienced a true meeting of the

minds, is so vital. Sometimes the best thing to do for someone is

give them room to find their path or progress along it.

Do we dare? Well, that's up to each of us. Even the best

friendships, according to your/my definition, can cause us pain at

times. Any time we open the door wide enough for love and

friendship, pain can enter. Yet, a true friend tends to be a more

vigilant gatekeeper...

I dare. It's the most audacious, delicious assertion of my being I

can think of. That is not meant to sound egotistical, though; I

just mean that I'm not going to hide my light under a bushel...gonna

let it shine for what it is.

:-)

Peace,

Rosie

> I believe that a true friendship is one where you can leave off

for

> years, and when you come back, nothing has changed between you and

> your friend, and there is no anger between you and the other party

> for the long absence.

>

> I believe that a true friendship is a meeting of the minds. It's

> where you and your friend know what the other is going to say

before

> you say it, and you love them for it. It's where they think as you

> do, for the most part, and you like to spend as much time together

as

> possible, because you want to get to know them more, but at the

same

> time, you recognize that they have a life of their own, and you

let

> them live it so that they can be, and grow into, themselves.

>

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:

> A true friend is someone who accepts your querks and dosn't try to change

> you. Someone who likes you as is.

Very good definition. That's how I see it too.

and the zoo:

> A friend appreciates or accepts your interests and hobbies. They don't

> scold you for having too many pets for example. :-)

LOL! Not even when those " pets " sharpen their horns on my house and eat all

my bushes and trees...? ;-) I guess I'm not a good friend of my assistant's

then. I've TRIED to like his goats, I really have.

*Sigh* (If only he could get some chinchillas instead...)

Inger

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