MORNING COFFEE

[Guest guest]

Get Toxic People Out of Your Life

by Jane

“You’re at your best in a supportive environment.†A significant part of your environment is the people you spend time with. These people have a huge impact on you and your decisions. That is precisely why you need to be sure you surround yourself with those who support you and your ambitions. Do your best to avoid people who belittle your enthusiasm, put you down or try to squash your dreams. Do your best to seek out those that support your goals and share your infectious energy. Surround yourself with positive people. When you combine that with both positive energy and attitude, you can’t help but soar.

FULLY PRESENT

Do you remember the story of Bentham of London, England? He died in 1832 and left his estate to University College London. But he also stipulated that his body be embalmed, dressed up and brought in to preside over the annual meeting of university administrators. His preserved body is still there today, displayed in a glass cabinet. And it is apparently still wheeled into the annual meetings. For years, the secretary of the board added to the minutes of each session, " Bentham, present but not voting."

I've KNOWN people like that -- present but not voting. Too often, I am one of them. These people are alive, but they are not really living. As lin may have put it, they died around 25 but won't be buried until they are 75. They live without passion. They seem to have forgotten what thrill and wonder life can hold. They get through each day, but seldom experience anything like deep joy. They're alive, but barely.

Bentham, who every year is present but not voting, reminds me of a story from Jewish humor. A widow spoke to friends about her departed husband. "Sidney thought of everything," she said. "Just before he died, he called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes,' he said. 'After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then I can rest in peace.'"

She explained the contents of the envelopes. "The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note: 'Use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with a soft lining. The second envelope contained $10,000 and a note: 'Use this for a nice funeral.' So I used it for flowers, food and music. I know it would have made him happy.' The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note: 'Use this to buy a nice stone.'"

At that point, the widow held up her hand and pointed to her finger, adorned with a lovely diamond ring. "So, do you like my stone?"

It WAS a nice stone. She knew that life was for the living.

Diamonds are not exactly my idea of living fully, but the story makes a good point. I want to do my best to enjoy life while I have it.

I think actor Maurice Chevalier had the right idea. He once said, "I never eat when I can dine." Do you know the difference? Eating is doing the necessary. Getting it done. I eat because I am hungry, then I can get on with what I was doing. Or I eat WHILE I'm doing something else - like writing or driving or watching television. If there is any pleasure to be found in the meal, I likely don't notice it. My attention is on something else.

But dining is different. Dining is the ENJOYMENT of eating. When I dine, I pay attention to what I am doing. I taste the foods - I savor them. I notice the differences between flavors and I eat more slowly. I also pay more attention to the people who are sharing my meal. I interact with them. I am fully present during the meal and I may even reflect back on it later in the day. I admit, I eat often, but I don't dine nearly enough.

I want to dine more and eat less. I don't want to just show up for life; I want to be part of it. I want to worry less about such things as where I live, and more about living where I am. And at the end of my life, I want to say that I always tried to be fully present.

Steve Goodier

Feel the possibilities Feel the energy of life as it fills your awareness. Feel the ever-expanding universe of possibilities that stretches out in every direction. Feel the possibilities, for they are your possibilities. Because you do feel them, you are in the amazingly fortunate position of being able to bring them to life. Choose to focus on an objective, and you will indeed focus the unique power of your awareness on that objective. Decide to take action, and just as soon as the decision is made you can be taking action. You can perceive, you can evaluate, you can prioritize, you can plan and strategize and get the results you intend. And now is when you can make full use of your powerful capabilities. Feel your purpose, feel your vision, and act on the possibilities that will share the goodness of that unique vision with all of life. Understand that every single moment is a spectacular opportunity. What is most meaningfully possible for you is ready for you to make it real. Feel the beautiful, life-enriching possibilities as they come to life through you. Ralph Marston

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