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Re: age/wisdom

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I read this with interest.

I especially liked these bits .

Alice said :

> i am now 80 n cn remember 71 yrs ago lying in a field w/a

classmate in

> boardschl in switz n we were talking ab wh we wanted to do wh we

grew up. it

> was a summer's night. i said that i wanted to reconcile science n

religion n

> i was looking up at the stars!!

...................................................

> fr a person who finally has her inside n outside matching! i knew

i was OLD

> wh little n now i know i am still that child

>

> feels good!:}

I hope you are in good physicl health too Alice. It would be great

because I suppose that physical health would be important in getting

the best value from having " inside n outside matching " . I wish you

many more years of happiness on top of your 80.

Would it be OK if I ask a couple of questions?

Here goes:

At what age did you get your inside n outside matching?

Is that the objective of the individuation process as described by

Jung?

Do you think it is possible to get there reasonable early in life so

there is time left to enjoy it and does it lead to being happier?

Lots of love to you.

Joe_infj

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> In a message dated 1/25/2003 7:36:19 AM Central Standard Time,

> joe_infj@y... writes:

> ............

> (I'm 60). What's the point of " getting it all together " if I

don't have any

> time or health to enjoy the results? Then I have to remind myself

that it's

> the journey, not the destination. And I hate it when I hear that

from other

> people, over and over and over, ad infinitum, actually, ad nauseum

is closer.

> Trouble is, it's true and I need to remember that. Life is the

way it is,

> not the way I think it should be. Darn! LOL

>

> Namasté

> Sam in Texas §(ô¿ô)§

Hi Sam,

Well what I am thinking now about that is that I would be satisfied

to get a bit nearer to " getting it all together " without really

expecting ever to get all the way. I hate it too when I am reminded

that it's the journey, not the destination. So I think I will set

out with the objective of not going all the way, but going to some

destination that is a little bit short of a final destination and

stopping there. Some time I think I would like to get to the stage

of saying: " OK that's enough of trying to understand life, you've

spent enough time at it, time to take a bit of a rest now and enjoy

what you learned without always wanting to go on and on even if you

know there is more to learn. "

I like the idea of transition stages in life where we spend a few

years working on progressing. Then there are easy years where we do

other things, kind of coasting on what we did in the transition

years. Then come some transition years again. I think it's important

to let ourself coast sometimes, after all we are not gods but only

mortal men, and if we spend all our time in transition the women

around us will think we are nuts and won't want anything to do with

us and that wouldn't do either!

LOL! that's exactly what you have to do. Laugh at it at the same

time as we attack the great unknown. I have been doing quite a bit

of coasting so I think I'm going to enjoy a couple of transition

years now.

Thanks for your comments.

Joe_infj

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Gee Toni, are you a woman??

I thought you were a man, I don't know why. LOL.

Anyway since I can't see you I suppose it's OK to say I thought you

are a man. Otherwise I would deserve a good whack! WHAM take that

you rotten son of a #*~ " ^ whaddya mean you thought I was a man!

Well you seem to me to be pretty nice to your husband! Hope he

appreciates it. Imagine organising your painting and computer time

around his activities. In a way maybe I can understand that because

there are some things you have to be alone to really enjoy, and I

guess painting and chatting on internet could be two of them.

Have to dash.

Joe_infj

> Hi joe infj,

> I wouldn't think you were nuts.

>

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> Um, joe_infj, I'm afraid I have to disabuse you of a

misunderstanding. In

> spite of my name, I'm female. Sorry 'bout that, the

misunderstanding, I

> mean, not about the being female. LOL .......>

> Namasté

> Sam in Texas §(ô¿ô)§

That's very funny. I had you pictured as a real male type with big

moustache and quite long scraggly hair all in rawhide going around

on a great big horse kicking up dirt behind and speaking with a deep

deep voice and somehow that mysterious wisdom that some people could

see in your eyes but everyone couldn't see it.

Well nice to meet you Sam. Somehow I'm glad really that your a

woman, I don't know why.

ROADSIDEJACK........ARE YOU THERE.....TELL ME YOU'RE A MAN!!!! if

you tell me you're a woman I think I'll go back to Harry Potter and

give up on Jung. LOL

Joe_infj

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Congratulations Toni on your 46 years of marriage. Do you have a

photo of your 9 grandchildren all together? My parents have 10

grandchildren and have a photo of them in the kitchen taken at their

50th anniversary. It's quite a funny photo because some of them have

that bored indulgent look on their face that says " I'm being on my

best behavior you know, but don't make this last too long " . All of

us parents are very proud of our offspring of course. Before that my

mother used to quickly shuffle around the photos before one of her

children visited so that the right offspring were in prominent

position, so now she doesn't have to do that any more.

Anyway I think 46 years or 50 years of marriage is a great example

for young people to be able to see. It makes a change from the

divorces and separations. As my new friend roadhousejack

says... " it's not what they hear you say, but what they see you do " .

So maybe your grandchildren will see from your example that it is

possible to have just one long lifetime relationship.

About love, I have just been reading what Jung had to say about that

in the chapter " Late Thoughts " of the book " Memories, Dreams,

Reflections " . I found it a very difficult chapter. But this was easy

enough to understand :

" I falter before the task of finding the language which might

adequately express the incaclulable paradoxes of love..........In my

medical experience as well as in my own life I have again and again

been faced with the mystery of love, and have never been able to

explain what it is. "

Ah well, it seemed too good to be true that there might be an

explaination. And anyway, what good would love be if there was no

mystery in it!

Congrats again on your 46 years together, sounds like a great

relationship. Next time he talks about how he finnest it try

something like this " Well dearest, it seems to me that you're going

for a lot of finesses lately which is quite a beginners way to play

really, don't you think you should try for the squeeze more often

and you might come home with some tops " . Lol! tell me what he says!

But watch out for the divorce courts.....I'm not single you know,

and neither is roadhousejack, and Sam's a woman....so better hold on

to the one you have. LOL!

Joe_infj

> Dear joe infj

>

> Yep, I am a woman. And married for 46 years, the mother of two

natural born

> and two adopted children now all in their 40's and 9 grandchildren

from

> 9-20.

>

> ;As I am also 71 years old, I was brought up differently than

modern women,

> though my daughters taught me about " feminism "

> I am " nice " to my husband not only because he is " nice " , but

because I adore

> him.We both worked, except when I had small children.( he retired

3 times)

> Love does wonders for 2 retired people living " togetherness " We

also have

> different interests.His eyes glaze over when I go on and on on

Jung or

> philosophy. My eyes glaze over when he tells me about a bridge

convention or

> rule and how they " finnest it. We agree on politics, and mostly on

religions

> and our separate spiritual approaches.so it is hard to start an

argument..

> He plays bridge and is a life master. My bridge playing was a joke

so I

> quit. He enjoys a fraternal organization (Lions) I hate those kind

of things

> . I do most of my serious reading and studying while he is buried

with his

> anacrostics, which he does by the hour. He now cooks every other

night

> since I convinced him we were both retired (took some doing) I do

most of my

> serious reading and studying while he is buried with his

anacrostics He

> could never be a snob about anything, I find it hard not to be

one.He is

> calm and quiet, there was never anything " quiet " about me the

calmness is a

> relatively recent sometime attribute of mine..He is much

friendlier than I

> am, and quiet, ,

>

> . We have had a good life together and are at peace with each

other and the

> world. Haven't had a good fight in years...could be boring, but it

isn't.

> (Well. I seem to remember going upstairs to lie on the bed crying

in the

> last year once....haven't the foggiest clue why, but he came up

and we made

> up within a few minutes.) We are blessed is so many ways.

> So yes, I am a woman and happy about it.( my name is actually

> Antoinette...but I never use it,it never suited me, I thought

Isn't it

> true the older we get, the more traits of the other sex become

ours?

>

> S3ee what you get as a penance...almost my life history.

>

> Toni

>

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