Guest guest Posted January 3, 2010 Report Share Posted January 3, 2010 > Yeah, I've been suicidal again for two weeks now due to a verbally > abusive boss. Hi Terri, As my SSDI lawyer said to a friend of mine, If you commit suicide, you let the bastards win! I was suicidal, too, as I seemed to be losing everything I believed made life doable, bearable. That was 11-1/2 years ago. Your boss' opinion of you is none of YOUR business. His or her behaviour is all about him/her, nothing to do with you at all, no matter s/he uses you for target practice. People who behave badly act out of their own sense of inadequacy, their own enormous frustrations, their own lack of skills for holding their temper, lack of skills for handling stress and their own personal overflowing emotions and worries. Bad behaviour is the result of those behaving badly no matter what slight you may have incurred. You may be experiencing his or her abuse as if you deserve it but you do not in any way shape or form deserve to be abused. Abuse happens, so, you may wonder why this is happening to you in particular. We all wonder when it happens to us. And it happens to everyone of us at some time or another. Everyone. All of us have experienced abuse at the hands of others to various degrees over varying amounts of time. Maybe you are hearing old audio from your childhood, as I do? Maybe you and I were too young to experience abuse by a loved one as a behaviour looking for a target, a loved one who was completely unable to contain their own personal, outsized rage allowing the overflow to slam into you and me? When we are young, we take various amounts of time to discover we are not the center of the universe, not the cause of all things happy, sad, painful, in between. I was in my mid-30s when I realized I was living my daily work life as if I was responsible for, as if I was the cause of my boss' every mood to which I was extremely sensitive. Your illness may be producing new levels of frustration in those around you but that is still no fault of your own. Bad behaviour is always about the one behaving badly, the problem of another unable to withstand the frustrations of living and being in the presence of other people with all our many and various idiosyncracies. Sometimes we are those who behave badly. Not to worry. It'll pass. Bad behaviour passes. If it is your boss who cannot contain themselves, picture them as emotionally vulnerable as they actually are by, for instance, picturing them wearing holes in their underpants. With time to collect whatever patience we have left after difficult times, we may learn from our experience of losing our own tempers. We may remap the path that lead to our own bad behaviours. We may develop compassion for ourselves for having lost our tempers or otherwise behaving badly. Developing compassion for ourselves, we may find compassion for those who have lost their tempers onto us to. Hang in there. You are not alone. toni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 4, 2010 Report Share Posted January 4, 2010 Because you are good enough, you are smart enough, and doggone it people like you. Your boss is an insecure idiot as you know. I had one for 6 yrs. I won! Mindy who is trying to kick carbs n sugar today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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