MORNING COFFEE

[Guest guest]

Rediscover Spontaneity

by Jane

CHECK IT OUTJoan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals recentlyaccused , a local man, of having a drinking problem becauseshe noticed his pickup truck outside the town's only bar onemorning. After all, she reasoned, it was a logical assumption. stared at her for a moment and said nothing. Later thatevening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and leftit there all night.Why is it that so many of our logical assumptions are just plainwrong? And why do we want to act as if they must be true?In an age long before the Internet, a young American at a banquetfound himself seated next to the eminent V. K. Wellington Koo, aChinese diplomat. Completely at a loss as to what to say to someonefrom such a different culture, this young man ventured, "Likeesoupee?" After all, he assumed, don't all Chinese speak in brokenEnglish?Mr. Koo smiled and nodded. Later when called upon to speak,Wellington Koo delivered an eloquent talk in exquisite English, satdown while the applause was still resounding, turned to the youngman and whispered, "Likee speechee?Another assumption that was completely wrong. And I can relate. Iregularly assume things and act as if they must be true.Do you know one of the reasons why red roses are so popular? Menkeep buying them. They ASSUME that all women prefer red roses whenflowers are in order. And when asked their partner's favorite colorof rose, men usually say it's red.But what do the women say? When women are asked what color of roseis their favorite, they are more likely to answer that they preferyellow, white, black, peach or lavender. And when asked what kind offlowers they would prefer to receive from that special person, theanswer is generally not roses at all. Try daisies, tulips orgardenias. The age-old assumption that most women like red rosesbest is simply not true.Sometimes I think it has taken way too long, but I'm learning to askabout these things I always KNEW were absolutely true. At least Iassumed so. When my wife is silent, I've always assumed she wasangry with me. But now I'm learning to ask. And I'm discovering thather aloofness sometimes actually comes from the fact that she isworried about something not related to me at all.Assumptions. We all make them. They're too often wrong and caneasily get us into trouble.So here is what I've learned: when in doubt, check it out. And if I'mnot in doubt, I still check it out. I'm sure I know what she likes?I check it out. I believe I know what the silence is all about? Icheck it out. It's only logical? I still check it out.We may think we know. But what we know may not be so. Best to checkit out.This may sound simplistic, but I am always amazed how often we arein distress over things we assume to be true. Yet nobody has checkedthem out. And I also know that when I check my assumptions out, Ican expect to be surprised.Steve Goodier

Working for fun What if hard work was actually fun? Just imagine how much more of it you would choose to do, and how much additional value you would create. What if tedious work was actually fulfilling? Just think of how many more great things you could accomplish. Imagine that some person or some group wanted to hold you back, to keep you from being your very best. What would be a good way of doing that? One extremely effective way to hold millions of people back would be to spread the assumption that difficult, challenging work is to be avoided. That being the case, is it really an assumption you want to willingly hold on to? What’s fun, and satisfying, and fulfilling for you, is whatever you decide is fun, satisfying and fulfilling. If you so choose, that can include intense, difficult, challenging and even tedious work that creates great value. Are you being held back by your assumptions about what is enjoyable and fulfilling, and what is not? You’re free to change those assumptions any time you choose. Ralph Marston

“Adventure is as near as stepping out your front door…†Too often we think of adventure as this big event that we have to plan way in advance. We think arrangements must be made, schedules coordinated, flights booked, time off secured, etc. With such planning the “adventure†of the adventure is easily lost. Adventure is really a decision to do something that inspires awe, from within. It can be simple, uncomplicated and spontaneous. When you’re out and about, today, try to look at things in a new way. Approach your tasks with a fresh sense of curiosity. See something new, smell something new, touch something new. Dare to explore and enjoy the experience of living. You will discover that adventure is easily found in an otherwise ordinary day.

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