feelings of lost and depression

[Guest guest]

Group,

to make a long story short, i had decompression on sept 6th, 2 months

ago, it took me most of these last 2 months to find a pain mngmnt dr,

who WOULD take on a brain surgery pt, i went to the appt, after we

talked he said i needed to see a shrink, b/c all i do is cry it

seems, but the resaon i cry is i dont know how i feel about what has

just happened to me and my life, it's changed, period.. you know what

i mean don't you? i dont understand alot of the reasons - well i am

not stupid i know i just had surgery, but why is it so darn hard to

find a dr who cares and WANTS to UNDERSTAND chiari, they are putting

me thru some pretty heavy stuff i mean a shrink b/c i cry b/c THEY

dont understand, i mean i am at a loss in my life where i am ready to

throw in the towel and let them

win and belive that i am the CRAZY one and sign myself into a mental

hospital.. why do i feel like this... ? I know i must be depressed,

but its b/c of the docs not undestanding the surgery i just went

thru, i mean isnt BRAIN surgery something serious, or am i like i

have been told making too much out of it, i mean it was just a

surgery, well to me i want to know - understand the pain i still am

having, why i am wetting the bed, why i have electric shocks going to

my left eye and making it feel like i am getting a shot in it, it

hurts, my arms and shoulders are going numb, i feel like a walking

zombie, i am on 1 med oxycotin i take one a day 40 mg, it does help

some but not the electric shocks and the pain in my neck, where i had

the surgery, i fall asleep on the toilet, and i have had 2 drop

attacks, since surgery, i have e mailed my docs, no help , i

mean i love them for validating me for the chiari, but what about

now?

who do i/we have to turn to in order to get someone to listen, reason

i am ready to throw in the towel i am not a suicidal person never had

been , all i want to do is live what normal life i can and i just

cant seem to find out what that word is/means.. anyone who can help

me understand , yes i went to the shrinks, but they want to know what

kind of abuse i have went thru since childhood , not about my surgery

and the chronic pain i live with and the effect it has had on my

life, i feel so lost and i'm tired of crying,

my husband is a doll he is a ironworker , comes home from a 10 hour

day , cooks cleans , does laundry, and then has to put up with me

crying and bickering , what are my options here, i actually feel so

darned lost .... and i didnt want this to be long , will there ever

be somethig someone can do , why do i feel this way, i just cant cope

after this surgery, why ? why?

Annette in Mesa AZ,