without teachinng that pain is valid~ Tami

[Guest guest]

beautiful indeed.

Is it the same nne who wrote the other post?

Love

Tami

-- Re: without teachinng that pain is valid~ Tami

Dear Tami,

This reminds me of when my first child was born and he died at birth.

Of course my family, in their loving way, supported me in my grief by

crying and *feeling my pain*. And I understand that.

But the most loving person who visited me in the hospital was a woman

who had also lost a child at birth. She did NOT go into fits of

crying and feeling sorry for me. She did not pat me on the back and

tell me I was going through the most horrible thing in the world.

Instead, she just sat with me and listened TO me and what I was

feeling and thinking instead of acting out grief. It was very

intimate with her, as she sat and listened to me....without the

crying for me, my baby, and for herself. It was entirely intimate and

the most supportive thing anyone did for me at that time. I felt

incredible love flowing from her.

Huge difference.

Love, nne

> Hi

>

> I havn't been here for a while...

> I am listening to katie's tapes

> and I want to share with you

> things she said that weren't clear to me...

>

> I quote:

>

> " My children hurt, I hurt. We have believed that that is love.

> That is not my expirience.

> I love to sit with my children and there pain.

> Can I do that without teachinng that pain is valid, that suffering

> is valid. Or, can I sit with them and understand, listen. It is

> entirely intimate. "

>

>

> I want a to clairified the part:

> without teachinng that pain is valid...

>

> what did she mean?

>

> Thanks

> Tami

_____