Finances

[Guest guest]

I think it is so great people are being approved for SSI/SSD. I worry

sometimes about all this. I don't have enough credits for SSD and DH

makes too much money for me to qualify for SSI (even though our house

pmt is almost 50% of his take home pay!).

We have a small internet business that helps a little...but we are

really stuck in what to do. We have thought about making me an

employee and earn credits to one day claim SSD. BUT, if I do that, I

will have to start paying back the massive amt of student loans I owe

(I have a deferment b/c I am unemployed and have zero income).

rock-and-a-hard-place!

I sometimes really worry about what will happen in the future. It is

not like I will have any SS money. I have worked for years, but I

didn't realize that while I was in school and working for " work study "

or my graduate teaching fellowship, it was paid for by federal money.

So, for some reason that meant they didn't take our SS or count it as

credits.

I know there is enough to worry about in the present and I shouldn't

" borrow trouble " from the future...but I still worry about it sometimes.

DonnaL --> who seems to be on a posting binge today :-)

[Guest guest]

You need to make some contacts on your student loans and also look at the

promisory note you signed.  These loans can be forgiven by the government if you

go through the right steps.

[Guest guest]

Hi Donna and others,

I am in a similar position with regards to student loans. When I first finished

college, I began working in consulting and I was physically unable to keep up

and my health deteriorated and I felt awful. I took some time off, returned to

work p/t and then decided to go back to school. Academics has always been

easier for me because it is a different sort of stress, which is definitely more

intense at times, yet it is not so constant as every morning and all day long

every day. I was always aware that my CFS put me at a place where I was more

limited. I let my school know about it, but I didn't request any accomodations.

Anyway, I struggled with my health and feeling well-- yet I kept on pace with my

peers and finished in June with a doctorate in clinical psychology. My

dissertation took me a little longer, but I finished on time. However, because

I worked P/T for a bit and then only had a small job in addition to my 20 hour

non-paid externships and my full time courseload, I took out loans for the 7

years I was in graduate school. I guess in my social and familial circles it

was not ok not to work at all and because I have a high level of ability and

intellectual curiosity, I thought grad school was a good fit. Yet, know I am

finished and I feel great that I am Dr. Meghan, Psychologist....blah blah blah,

but I have such a large amount of loans and Credit card debt because I didn't

have income for so long and I had expenses and vitamins and meds and food. I

have the potential to make income, but it is not that much and I am finding that

working full time (I have to!) is just really wearing me down. I have

absolutely no energy to take care of myself, to even call someone or do anything

other than get to work and back.

I know that many people are not able to work at all, so I am quite grateful that

I am even able to work. Please do not misunderstand that because I am working I

do not have CFS. I have taken off months and years at a time before with this

illness. I just can't afford to anymore because it causes me to incur debt and

I don't have anyone else to pay for me. I am able to work but I can't even wash

my hair more than once per week on the weekend, I am socially isolated because I

am too tired to do anything outside of work or to even make phone calls and have

a conversation, I sleep all weekend just so that I can get back to work on

Monday, and I have been eating horribly because I am too tired to prepare food--

which contributes to the inflammatory response and makes me feel worse.

I don't mean to complain either, but I am worried for my future as well. I am

so terrified to move forward with my boyfriend of 4 years because I don't want

him to see what it is like to live with me because I don't do anything! I am

frightened that I won't be a good spouse or have energy to nurture the

relationship. And children? Oh my, I don't know how anyone does it. They

require so much and if I have to work... I just don't know how I would even make

dinner. Anyway, I just feel that if this is my quality of life...it is so poor.

All I do is work, I am barely making it financially and I have more loans that

come due in 2 months (the federal ones kick in 6 months after you graduate) and

I don't know how I will do it. I also worry that my boyfriend or any potential

mate would never want to take this on in a spouse. I know others have posted

about this concern as well. I don't want to project fear about the future and I

try to stay positive and hope it will have a way of working out. I just know

that I don't want to live my life like this...

Anyway, I just realized there is not much anyone else can say. Thanks for

bringing up this issue and allowing a place to let some feelings out.

M. Brasley, Psy.D.

hrpsmcb@...

[Guest guest]

Meghan,

I also work full time since I have no other option (my husband is laid

off and I currently carry our health insurance) and I can totally

empathize with sleeping all weekend to recharge in order to be able to

get to work on Monday and eating crappy food because I'm too tired to

cook (my hubby is limited in that area, lol)

I had the same concerns as you when my husband wanted to move in

together, but we found a way to make it work! Every day is still a

challenge, but having someone there to support you at the end of the

day makes it a little easier!! You've been with your boyfriend for 4

years so he obviously wants to be with you and if you are unsure and

anxious about moving on talk to him about about your concerns, all

relationships take work, but with sickies like us it takes a little

more and you may find he's willing to put in the extra effort

I hope everything works out for you!!!

>

> Hi Donna and others,

>

> I am in a similar position with regards to student loans. When I

first finished college, I began working in consulting and I was

physically unable to keep up and my health deteriorated and I felt

awful. I took some time off, returned to work p/t and then decided to

go back to school. Academics has always been easier for me because it

is a different sort of stress, which is definitely more intense at

times, yet it is not so constant as every morning and all day long

every day.

[Guest guest]

Hi Meghan, It is so hard sometimes, when the future is unknown and the very

realistic fears take hold. One day at a time does help a bit, but still, I

too, as so many here, know what financial difficulties (let alone personal)

can do to one’s sense of security and well being.

You just might want to consider the idea that if your work is absolutely all

that you can do, then perhaps you are going to have to face working less,

before you drive yourself into the ground again, where you can’t work at

all. It sounds like an easy equation, better pay, less hours, but bringing

that about is a feat of creativity, that we often need just to navigate our

way through the day.

Hard realities that you already know, so I am just reminding you. I too know

from many years’ experience that one pays the piper in the end, for

overdoing it in any way. You TC, and I hope that you find some solutions and

time for rest AND washing your hair very soon. Aylwin xox