Re: Comments on breastfeeding, etc.

[Guest guest]

Thank you Misty.

a

> I've followed this thread with interest, having once been a co-

> sleeping/family bed/eco-breastfeeding mother myself. However, we

> discovered as did that this style of childrearing was not

> serving me, our marriage, or our daughter, which all thrived once we

> went the road less traveled.

>

> The suggestion that we are morally obligated to do what is best

> strikes me as wrong, and I would be very interested in what some of

> the moral theologians (good ones, that is) have to say about this. It

> is my understanding that we are always morally obligated to avoid

> what is evil and to embrace what is good, but not always what is

> BEST. Can we say with certainty we are always morally obligated to

> try give the BEST to our children? Or can we in the interest of the

> family welfare do what is right " only " by doing what is good?

>

> Obviously, God designed women's bodies and breastfeeding is a part of

> His plan for parenting/childrearing, under most circumstances. What

> many of us even pro-nursing folks take umbrage at, however, is the

> not-so-subtle implications among many here that ecological

> breastfeeding/family bed parenting is morally superior to all other

> forms of breastfeeding and childrearing. Someone's comments about it

> being the standard in " more normal " societies than ours struck me as

> incredibly judgmental toward the majority of our culture who do not

> choose to embrace that whole spectrum of parenting.

>

> You are right that even the Church does not put the burden of

> " objectively immoral " on how one chooses to breastfeed. Consequently,

> subtle implications that being " radically available " to one's child

> can only take one form (ecological breastfeeding/attachment

> parenting, family bed, etc.) reek of a holier-than-thou attitude that

> is simply not in accord with the guidance given to us by the Church,

> or the spirit of charitable to which we are all called. God calls

> every family to its own unique " culture " and as long as as the

> parents are striving to do what they believe is pleasing to God and

> good for their children (and yes, one can believe schedules and cribs

> are pleasing to God and good for the kids when they result in harmony

> in the family and strengthen the marriage), I don't think any of us

> can sit in judgment regarding what choices every family " should "

> make. Advocating a certain parenting style as having benefits is one

> thing; making moral judgments about it being " the best " or " God's

> plan " for all families is quite another.

>

> In Christ,

> Misty Mealey

>

>

" Dear young people, in such a world is it hard to believe? Yes! It is

hard. There is no need to hide it. It is hard, but with the help of grace

it can be done. " Pope II, World Youth Day 2000 in Rome

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[Guest guest]

Here is another view of Christian parenting, that puts emphasis on respect for authority, training, favors physical chastisement etc and claims authority from scripture. http://www.foundationsforfreedom.net/Topics/Family/Parenting010_SecularBible.htmlThere is a whole industry of Christian parenting seminars that promote a style and values very different from attachment parenting/ecological breastfeeding. Different parenting styles place different values on the physical intimacy between husband and wife - how much to sacrifice for breast feeding, if there is a conflict.I have had parents that are strong advocates of radically different parenting styles in my medical practice, and have seen many different approaches work well. There can, however, be pitfalls in the extremes. D"Misty M." wrote: I've followed this thread with interest, having once been a co- sleeping/family bed/eco-breastfeeding mother myself. However, we discovered as did that this style of childrearing was not serving me, our marriage, or our daughter, which all thrived once we went the road less traveled. The suggestion that we are morally obligated to do what is best strikes me as wrong, and I would be very interested in what some of the moral theologians (good ones, that is) have to say about this. It is my understanding that we are always morally obligated to avoid what is evil and to embrace what is good, but not always what is

BEST. Can we say with certainty we are always morally obligated to try give the BEST to our children? Or can we in the interest of the family welfare do what is right "only" by doing what is good? Obviously, God designed women's bodies and breastfeeding is a part of His plan for parenting/childrearing, under most circumstances. What many of us even pro-nursing folks take umbrage at, however, is the not-so-subtle implications among many here that ecological breastfeeding/family bed parenting is morally superior to all other forms of breastfeeding and childrearing. Someone's comments about it being the standard in "more normal" societies than ours struck me as incredibly judgmental toward the majority of our culture who do not choose to embrace that whole spectrum of parenting. You are right that even the Church does not put the burden of "objectively immoral" on how one chooses to

breastfeed. Consequently, subtle implications that being "radically available" to one's child can only take one form (ecological breastfeeding/attachment parenting, family bed, etc.) reek of a holier-than-thou attitude that is simply not in accord with the guidance given to us by the Church, or the spirit of charitable to which we are all called. God calls every family to its own unique "culture" and as long as as the parents are striving to do what they believe is pleasing to God and good for their children (and yes, one can believe schedules and cribs are pleasing to God and good for the kids when they result in harmony in the family and strengthen the marriage), I don't think any of us can sit in judgment regarding what choices every family "should" make. Advocating a certain parenting style as having benefits is one thing; making moral judgments about it being "the best" or "God's plan" for

all families is quite another. In Christ, Misty Mealey