Re: Saying Goodbye

[Guest guest]

Good luck with your job search. Stinks that a person gets better and is just

going to " leave " us instead of potentially helping us!

I know I do what I can, and will if I am ever " cured " ! Just seems selfish and

uncaring! But hey, that is just the way some people roll!! Hope there is not

such a thing as Karma!

>

> I have been dealing with chronic illness for three years and I thought that it

just had to be CFS/ME. My Dr was even convinced. I've been extremely

determined to not give up. Through a series of events, and many prayers, I was

given the courage to go off all my medications, including the Levothyroid. The

very same day I stopped the Levothryoid, I felt like my old (much better) self.

I checked in with my Dr. via email since I still don't have health insurance and

she said that was great news and to have my levels checked in 2 months.

> That's my story. I pray that others might be helped by this. I never gave

up, and trusted God, He completely healed me and gave me my life back. I'm busy

telling all my friends and looking for a job. Now that I don't have to fight to

stay awake, it's amazing how much energy I have to live life again. My Spirit

has returned and I feel alive!

> My prayers and best wishes are with all of you, and thank you all for your

support all these months. With much love,

>

>

[Guest guest]

You are mistaken. I love all of you very much and I am thankful to everyone who

helped me through the past year (that I've been on the post). I am incredibly

humble and grateful. I don't want to make some unhappy people even less unhappy

by sticking around telling them all about my great and wonderful Healing. For

those of us who have really suffered incredible losses because of our illness,

it is almost too much to bear. Your comment for example, is indicative of the

kind of envy and jealously I once had. But, no more. I commit myself to being

healthy on the inside and the outside. I hop you will find some peace in your

life and someday, when the cure comes, you will be grateful, as I am.

With much love and compassion,

:-)

[Guest guest]

Why do you need to be so mean. Aren't we here to support each other?

>

> Good luck with your job search. Stinks that a person gets better and is just

going to " leave " us instead of potentially helping us!

>

> I know I do what I can, and will if I am ever " cured " ! Just seems selfish and

uncaring! But hey, that is just the way some people roll!! Hope there is not

such a thing as Karma!

[Guest guest]

I am so happy for your healing and I wish you all good things in the

future.

Have a great holiday and wishing you the best!

Debbie Breehl

[Guest guest]

,

Your compassion, love and humility are most admirable. I, for one, was

concerned about that message and hopeful that you had left the group before you

could read it. I did not want you to be hurt by it and it is uplifting to find

that you did read it and were able to see through it to the hurt of the writer

and so not take offense. Few would do so. The fact that you did is, in my

opinion, both a testament to your growth as a Christian and indicative of the

ways in which God has used your suffering " for good " . I am sure that He will

put you to good use in the future!

As to the envy and bitterness that many with chronic illness feel, I also felt

it at times, especially early on in my illness. I do think, though, that most

of us realize (fairly soon, I hope) that there are many people out there with

many types of problems that are " invisible " and who receive no more support than

we do. We need to learn from our own condition and be kind, patient, and

compassionate toward others, giving them the benefit of the doubt when they do

something that might give us offense if we wanted to interpret it that way. If,

for instance, a check-out person seems unfriendly or even downright rude, it may

be that they are in pain or feeling ill and have been working for 6 or 7 hours

and can barely keep going. They aren't meaning any offense to us, just trying

to survive. Or they may have lost a close loved one, had their spouse be laid

off or be experiencing some other life crisis. The fact is that MOST people we

see are in pain of some kind and we are truly not " special " nor any more or less

deserving of help and support than those people. Life is hard. We can choose

to make it easier for ourselves and others by practicing kindness and patience,

or we can make it harder for all by reacting with meanness, anger, envy, spite,

etc. Such responses never do any good and are nearly always harmful to the

person reacting as well as the unfortunate receiver of their lashing out. I do

my best to ask myself whenever I start to feel a negative emotion like those

whether it will help the situation in any way and I've never seen a way that it

will! Always, the answer is that it will just make me as well as others feel

worse. It is possible, if one will just stop and think first, to quit having

those kinds of reactions and cultivate compassion instead.

I've written a lot of words and I hope they make people think and consider

whether they need to make changes, however, your example speaks far more loudly

and clearly.

Bless you and know that there are many of us who are very happy for you and wish

you all good things,

Margie

>

> You are mistaken. I love all of you very much and I am thankful to everyone

who helped me through the past year (that I've been on the post). I am

incredibly humble and grateful. I don't want to make some unhappy people even

less unhappy by sticking around telling them all about my great and wonderful

Healing. For those of us who have really suffered incredible losses because of

our illness, it is almost too much to bear. Your comment for example, is

indicative of the kind of envy and jealously I once had. But, no more. I

commit myself to being healthy on the inside and the outside. I hop you will

find some peace in your life and someday, when the cure comes, you will be

grateful, as I am.

> With much love and compassion,

> :-)

>

[Guest guest]

I am so very happy for you. Best Wishes!!

>

> I have been dealing with chronic illness for three years and I thought that it

just had to be CFS/ME. My Dr was even convinced. I've been extremely

determined to not give up. Through a series of events, and many prayers, I was

given the courage to go off all my medications, including the Levothyroid. The

very same day I stopped the Levothryoid, I felt like my old (much better) self.

I checked in with my Dr. via email since I still don't have health insurance and

she said that was great news and to have my levels checked in 2 months.

> That's my story.

[Guest guest]

,

I'm so happy for you that you are feeling well. I don't want to crush your

happiness or anything. I just want to warn you that you could be in

remission. It's a complete break from all of your symptoms sometimes for

days, weeks, months and rarely but even years. I hope you are healed and

stay symptom free. I just want you to remember to not try to go overboard

too soon and bring it all back.

Good Luck and don't go away just yet. We would all love for you to keep us

updated on how you're feeling occasionally.

Hugs,

[Guest guest]

Was there any one thing that helped the most?

>

> Debbie,

>

> I was diagnosed with Fibro in 1988 and with CFS a few years later. I also

have several other health problems that complicate my situation. Needless to

say, I have tried a great many things for treatment, to varying levels of

success and failure. I would like to respond to you fully but it would take a

long time and bore you to death. Could you give me a better idea of what you

want to know so that I can respond more effectively?

[Guest guest]

Biggest help overall: changing my mind. These things are not " in your head "

but how you think has a huge impact. Thinking catastrophically (I can't take

this any more, nobody else hurts like I do, etc) makes your body tense up and

releases chemicals that get your systems going crazy. Learning how to not get

caught up in that, to control negative emotions by how you think, to slow down,

to prioritize, to listen to the body, etc. makes a huge difference. Then to

incorporate anti-stress measures - deep breathing and relaxation techniques -

which do the opposite in calming everything down in your body takes it to the

next level.

For muscle tightness and pain: hot tub, tennis ball massage

For sleep problems: good habits in the 2 hours before bed, deep breathing in

bed

For everything: cultivating a lightness of heart, laughing every day, having

patience and compassion

Studies have shown that we silly human beings have very strong tendencies to let

comparisons of ourselves to others have a huge impact on our satisfaction with

our lives and thus our happiness. So our satisfaction with our income is based

on comparing ourselves to those around us - friends and family. We would see

ourselves as rich if those people have less than us, poor if they have more.

It's all relative. So when we are sick and think " everyone else " has it better

than we do, we have all kinds of negative emotions associated with that

perception. HOWEVER, there are lots of challenges and difficulties in this life

and realizing that others do have their fair share (but they may be different

than ours and invisible to us) opens up new ways to be happy with our lives no

matter how bad we feel (up to a point of course).

Hope something out of all that helps LOL!

Margie

> >

> > Debbie,

> >

> > I was diagnosed with Fibro in 1988 and with CFS a few years later. I also

have several other health problems that complicate my situation. Needless to

say, I have tried a great many things for treatment, to varying levels of

success and failure. I would like to respond to you fully but it would take a

long time and bore you to death. Could you give me a better idea of what you

want to know so that I can respond more effectively?

>

[Guest guest]

Margaret that is so true I do some of what you talked about, and will begin

doing the others. Thanks

Debbie

________________________________

Biggest help overall: changing my mind. These things are not " in your head " but

how you think has a huge impact. Thinking catastrophically (I can't take this

any more, nobody else hurts like I do, etc) makes your body tense up and

releases chemicals that get your systems going crazy. Learning how to not get

caught up in that, to control negative emotions by how you think, to slow down,

to prioritize, to listen to the body, etc. makes a huge difference. Then to

incorporate anti-stress measures - deep breathing and relaxation techniques -

which do the opposite in calming everything down in your body takes it to the

next level.

[Guest guest]

Me too, Margie. In fact, I was thinking today that I should write a post about

how doing affirmations during my twice-daily 'aggressive rest period' had calmed

my mind and body, and really helped control my tendency to catastrophic

thinking. Whenever I catch myself thinking how horrible something is, or how

horrible I feel, I do fifteen repetitions of an affirmation that I am letting go

of worry about all the parts of -whatever- that I can't control, and replacing

them with a sense of peace. Sounds totally silly but a lot of things that used

to send me into a flare just a few months ago, now don't.

regards,

Jayne

>

> Biggest help overall: changing my mind. These things are not " in your head "

but how you think has a huge impact. Thinking catastrophically (I can't take

this any more, nobody else hurts like I do, etc) makes your body tense up and

releases chemicals that get your systems going crazy. Learning how to not get

caught up in that, to control negative emotions by how you think, to slow down,

to prioritize, to listen to the body, etc. makes a huge difference. Then to

incorporate anti-stress measures - deep breathing and relaxation techniques -

which do the opposite in calming everything down in your body takes it to the

next level.

[Guest guest]

Jayne I do this too. My Psychiatrist called it changing the tapes I replay in

my mind. It definately helps

Debbie Breehl

________________________________

Me too, Margie. In fact, I was thinking today that I should write a post about

how doing affirmations during my twice-daily 'aggressive rest period' had calmed

my mind and body, and really helped control my tendency to catastrophic

thinking. Whenever I catch myself thinking how horrible something is, or how

horrible I feel, I do fifteen repetitions of an affirmation that I am letting go

of worry about all the parts of -whatever- that I can't control, and replacing

them with a sense of peace. Sounds totally silly but a lot of things that used

to send me into a flare just a few months ago, now don't.

[Guest guest]

I'm so glad it was helpful to you!

>

> Margaret that is so true I do some of what you talked about, and will begin

doing the others. Thanks

[Guest guest]

Hi Jayne,

Affirmations are far from silly! We are creatures of habit and breaking habits

of thought is very difficult. It takes time and repetition and persistence and

and and. We can have an " aha! " moment that we think is so important it will

change our lives, just incredible insight, and then forget about it completely

in a few days or a week. It has happened to me more times than I can count!

The insight has to be implemented in a persistent way or it is useless.

A key point in my life was when I had to quit working and went into a deep

depression for quite a while because I felt useless and worthless. Eventually

it occurred to me that one of the very few things that I could do for my husband

and sons was to " be happy. " NOT to fake health, but to have a cheerful

disposition and a willingness to laugh and enjoy life whether home-bound or not.

It really just comes down to " making the best of things " and not letting the

health problems take more from you life than it must.

My husband, who I met in 2001 and married in 2004, has taught me a great deal.

He has RA and has to keep moving to control his pain. So he works all of the

time, usually until about 9 at night, but he also almost never hurries. He is

most definitely a turtle lol! I was a hare, through and through, always moving

fast, thinking fast, doing fast until and unless my body forced me to stop.

would say " take your time " to me constantly when my impulse was to hurry.

It really taught me that 99% of that rushing wasn't necessary and was damaging

my health but it took a looonnnngggg time to become my natural way of doing

things on good days! I still overdo when I start feeling better after an

extended flare but he and I both understand why and that I'll probably always

overdo some at such times. It isn't about perfection, just doing a little

better today than I did yesterday.

I would love to hear about the " aha " moments, insights that helped people change

behavior patterns, affirmations that were helpful, and other ways or means by

which people changed their minds about aspects of living with these health

problems. Anybody care to jump in?

Oh, one more! I think the most common catastrophic thought that we have is " I

can't take this anymore. " Well, one day I realized that I don't have any

choice. I CAN take it and I WILL take it because I don't have any choice. I

CAN and WILL do what I can to make it better but when the hard flares hit, I

know they won't last forever and I just wait it out.

I'll also say that it has been much easier to be more " zen " since I had to quit

working! I thought it was the end of my life when that happened but it really

was the beginning of a much more peaceful and less stressful life. It took a

long time to get here but it was worth it.

Can't wait to hear from others!

Margie

>

> Me too, Margie. In fact, I was thinking today that I should write a post about

how doing affirmations during my twice-daily 'aggressive rest period' had calmed

my mind and body, and really helped control my tendency to catastrophic

thinking. Whenever I catch myself thinking how horrible something is, or how

horrible I feel, I do fifteen repetitions of an affirmation that I am letting go

of worry about all the parts of -whatever- that I can't control, and replacing

them with a sense of peace. Sounds totally silly but a lot of things that used

to send me into a flare just a few months ago, now don't.