GOL GAPPA DRIVE (A TRUE INCIDENCE)

[Guest guest]

GOL GAPPA DRIVE

My eight months pregnant wife woke me up one afternoon,

" Suno, uttoh, uttoh NA! "

" Kya hai re, bol na… Soon raha hu. "

Up

from my beauty queen and hers dream, I tried not to sound irritated by

that dhai kilo ka haath which was shaking me up…… Usse adami soota nahi

uttah jata hai bistar se!

" Mujhe Golgappe khana hai, abhi, chalo na. "

" Dopahar me? Lets go in evening yaara. "

" Abhi maan hai, Your Baby wants it too. Kick kar raha hai! "

This

mother and baby combination has been driving me nuts since many months!

Every other day they crave for something unique to eat….. right from Chilli

Chicken to Dhokla to Naspati…… Mera nash kar rakha hai…. I have to run

around at odd hours looking for the shops which are open to feed the

ever increasing demands of mother and soon to be born baby. Wish they

kept their demands simple ….. Where do we find Paav Bhaaji at 2 in the

morning?

Like

a well trained husband I reluctantly agreed to take the two of my

companions in search of the snacks of their cravings. Debating on which

Vahaan to take them for their joy ride, I decided to take my long

ignored scooter for that much needed short drive. Soon the mother and

the baby occupied the back seat and half of the front seat while I

balanced my self on the remaining half. Of course my position was

awkward coz my spine was curved as I tried to drive and balance the

centre of gravity. All my efforts to avoid those holes on the road had

failed…my wife kept screaming at me in pain

" Ache se chalao……. Got this pain in abdomen….baby will come out….. aee

aee ooji "

" Kya karoo….i brought the wrong way…this road has too many potholes! "

Finally

we reached our destination. My fully pregnant wife feasted on equally

pregnant gol gappas. I had to just control my urges to stop that gol

gappa man from impregnating too many gol gappas. My wife and yet to be

born child had their satiety satisfied and we took another route back

home. But to my dismay this road had two sets of six speed breakers

each. I could hear my wife screaming her lung out so I drove at snails

pace over the roller coaster. I did hear her shout my name but I was

too afraid to face her wrath. So I kept driving on. At the corner of

the road I saw a unique scene…a young man was driving a bike but with

hands off it.He was busy combing his hairs with one hand and holding

the mirror in another. I let down a huge laugh and started to show my

wife this scene of road scary monster. The road safety lessons he took

in grade 1 needs to be revised each time a young boy decides to ride a

bike.

" Dheek , dheek kaisa hero ban raha hai. Abhi geerega aur batisi bahar ajayege! "

NO ANSWER. Must be very angry!

" Devi, shama kare! Devi? "

NO ANSWER

" Maharani Sahiba? "

NO ANSWER

" Graha Laxmi? "

NO ANSWER

" Preyapalani? "

NO ANSWER

I

too got worried and decided to palpate the back of my seat. MY WIFE WAS

MISSING. My both bums were occupying whole of the front seat. It must

had been at that first bump when I got lifted in the air with the

impact …my bums had since then landed squarely on the front seat. Yes I

was sitting on the full front seat. Oh God…my wife and yet to be born

child were missing. I took a immediate U- Turn

and looked to right and left and then straight again…repeating the

process till I reached the site of speed breakers.

My

Wife was walking on the road….One hand on her abdomen and another one

wiping her tears. I saw the devi Durga with belan in all her hands…I

knew it was time to be blue back again. There were these small small

children of the neighbourhood clapping their hands as my wife kept on

walking. I soon stood by her side. She was laughing and wiping those

saline streams from her face while the children enjoyed the madness of

my Pagali. I too joined her in the laughter.

" Poore

Pagal Ho…….Ketne Awaz de……Bhage Chaale Ja Rahe Ho……I tried telling

you

that I got off at the time you slowed your scooter at the speed

breaker. "

After

the maha milaap between me and my lost wife and soon to be born kid…We

returned home safety. My daughter too is now as Chatori as my Biwi!

(VARSHA 92)

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GrAFE