New to group

[Guest guest]

I am now on my 6th week of tx for hep c; taking Pegasus and Copegus;

It's been rough, but I'm getting through it. It's amazing how all

the little things that used to bug me(i.e. my husband's dirty socks

left on the couch, stupid people, my teenager's loud music, and many

others), no longer seem worth nagging about and wasting my energy

on. I don't think about " competing with the Jone's " anymore. I

could care less about buying a new car or having the " perfect "

home. I just want simplicity. It's sad it took me starting tx to

put my life in perspective. I've had this disease since I was 12,

but have never had tx until now. I had ITP as a child requiring

numerous platelet transfusions, of course, this was before they

tested blood and blood products. I'm a psych nurse. Nurses

generally don't go to the doctor often. I had always thought I was

healthy and this disease was not active. I would have the

occaisional labs done for various minor medical problems over the

last several years. Had always noticed a slight elevation in my

liver enzymes, but never thought anything about it. This past year I

began experiencing a variety of somatic c/o and as they persisted

and worsened, started asking some of doc's I work with about this.

A truly good friend of mine who is a psychiatrist went far and

beyond to try to figure out what was going on and did. It's been

like tornado has hit me: finding a doctor that I thought was good,

likable and caring, more lab work done, awful liver bx, finding out

that I'm a stage 3 w/ level 1 inflamation; not to mention having my

family tested. They all tested negative. I felt things were out of

control. At first I was angry. Of course, then the Depression set

in. Thank God for anti-depressants!! I used to be a workaholic,

sometimes working 80+ hours/wk. I'm not now. This has been a

humbling experience as I now know I can't be " wonder woman "

anymore. I have learned the art of " delegation " and am slowly

giving up control of the things I perceived were strictly my

duties. It's been tough. People just don't do things the way I

would, but have learned their way is fine. Perfection is stress. I

now go to the grocery store in PJ's and no make up. I laugh out loud

until my belly hurts. I turn my ringer off, pager off and all cell

phones at times, to read a book, spend time with kids, and to just

have some peace. I'm not as addicted to TV now. I prefer to sit

out on the patio in the evening reading or looking at the stars. My

relationships with others have improved. My husband and I hold hands

now and actually want to spend time with one another. My teenage son

hugs me now and offers assistance when I'm hugging the toilet. This

is the son I almost forgot I had. My teenage daughter and I go to

lunch and talk for hours. Teaching my daughter to drive has been an

experience. You know those little handles inside your truck,located

on the passesnger side? Well I fiqured out what purpose they

provide: They're like those stress balls you squeeze when you are

nervous. I call them " Oh Shit! handles " as that is what I'm

clenching to and saying out loud as my teenage daughter is driving.

I eat more chocolate(it's one of the few things that don't make me

nauseated). I've lost 70 pounds without having to drink those nasty

weight loss shakes. By the time tx is over, I'll be the size I was

in highschool. I'm new to this group and I don't know anybody else

who has went through tx, but would like to chat with someone who

has.

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