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New Year Resolved

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New Year Resolved

If the doomsday prophets of the Mayan Calendar are correct, then these should be

the last New Year's resolutions I will ever have to make in my (or anyone

else's) life. So I have decided to make them good. I have four resolutions:

1. I will lose weight

2. I will stop drinking like a fish

3. I will give more free time to my family

4. I shall stop running only after money

Yes! For too long I have been storing those heavy dumbbells and exercise

weights. The only exercise I get is when I dust them once a year. Now with the

specter of recession and metals at an all time high, my first resolution is to

quickly sell off all those useless weights and get a good price for them from

idiots who have resolved to exercise this New Year.

And that second one about not drinking like a fish, well, what does a fish

drink, after all; River water full of untreated sewage or Sea water with toxic

heavy metals? Yes! I have resolved never to drink like a fish. A nice glass of

mellow whisky would do nicely, thank you!

Ah yes, and this third resolution about giving free time to the family is very

important. I shall stop charging them my consultancy rates for ten minutes for

every hour I spend with them. I hope they appreciate that I am giving them more

free time!

And, of course, money is not everything! So I shall stop running only after

money. Why should I, when so many beauties with looks as well as money combined

are out there? So no more running only after money, and hello New Year.

Hope your New Year is also as full of false optimism as mine is at present!

-Kishore Shah

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