Re: Update on my knee (OT)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/3/00 1:04:08 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

Honeybear3899@... writes:

<< Well everyone, my knee is getting worse. The growth is getting bigger. I

had an ultrasound last Wed. I go back for the results on this Wed. I went

walking last night, and just to see if it would hurt, I jogged a couple of

steps...YEP it sure did hurt! After I was done (I was with some friends who

were running), I sat down, and my knee locked in a bent position...it hurt

so

badly. I probably should have gone to the hospital, but I sucked it up and

went home cuz I knew that they couldn't do anything for me there. So please

wish me luck on my test results, and please keep me in your thoughts and

prayers if you could! Thanks.

>>

heather your in my prayers i sure hope they can help with the pain. Its no

fun hurting.

ROMIE

[Guest guest]

Honeybear3899@... wrote:

>

> Well everyone, my knee is getting worse. The growth is getting bigger. I

> had an ultrasound last Wed. I go back for the results on this Wed. I went

> walking last night, and just to see if it would hurt, I jogged a couple of

> steps...YEP it sure did hurt! After I was done (I was with some friends who

> were running), I sat down, and my knee locked in a bent position...it hurt so

> badly. I probably should have gone to the hospital, but I sucked it up and

> went home cuz I knew that they couldn't do anything for me there. So please

> wish me luck on my test results, and please keep me in your thoughts and

> prayers if you could! Thanks.

>

> , you got it. I will be thinking about you. I wish you didn't have to

weight until Wed. for the results. It sounds so painful.

Elena

[Guest guest]

At 03:50 PM 07/03/2000 EDT, you wrote:

>Well everyone, my knee is getting worse.

Oh ...I am so sorry it is getting worse. Having had a lot of knee

problems and surgery, I know it is not easy and it is terribly frustrating

and painful. I wish you the best,

Joya

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/3/00 10:43:49 AM Hawaiian Standard Time,

FRCHYFREY@... writes:

<< heather your in my prayers i sure hope they can help with the pain. Its no

fun hurting.

ROMIE >>

Thanks so much for your prayers Romie. I need as many as I can get. I am

really scared about this. I don't know what my family history is

and...::gulp:: I am afraid that I might have cancer. I know that this is

probably the worst case scenario, but I can't help but be worried about it.

Thanks.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/3/00 11:35:53 AM Hawaiian Standard Time,

etcarroll@... writes:

<< , you got it. I will be thinking about you. I wish you didn't

have to weight until Wed. for the results. It sounds so painful.

Elena >>

It is VERY painful. I actually had to fight the guy I am dating about going

to the ER the other night. He is so worried about me, and he could see how

much pain that I was in, and he tried to carry me to his car and take me

there, but I wouldn't let him cuz I know that they couldn't do anything for

me anyway, so it would just be a HUGE waste of time. SO he is sort of angry

at me...esp when I told him that I had ran a few steps...he knows that I am

not supposed to do that...although I had to know for sure if it was going to

hurt...so I tried. And it hurt, and I found out that I can't even walk

without pain...I odn't knwo what to do. I am so scared...terrified,

honestly...

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/3/00 11:32:05 PM Hawaiian Standard Time,

j.clappison@... writes:

<< Jill

who knows how hard it is to know the difference between 'working through'

things and resting & getting professional help to recover.

>>

Most people don't understand about testing your limits. I had to see exactly

what I could do. I am allowed to walk, though now I can tell my doc on Wed

that it hurts too much to even do that. I HAD to test my limits...noone

seems to understand that...noone...I wish someone would. I am normally a

very active person, and not being able to run and do Tae Bo is making me feel

like a slug...and I have gained weight, and I am going to be out of standards

again, even though I can't run, I am still expected to stay within military

standards, and I am not. No offense to many of you, but you don't know what

it is like to be FAT in the military...people call you names...they single

you out for crap duty...you don't get good assignments cuz you are considered

a S**ITBAG if you know what I mean. And so I have to try to do something.

And it isn't working. I am sorry if I offended anyone. But I had to get

that off of my chest. I am laughed at at work...I am called names...men

don't ask me out...they laugh at me. You all don't understand....

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 07/04/2000 8:01:43 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Honeybear3899@... writes:

<< And so I have to try to do something.

And it isn't working. I am sorry if I offended anyone. But I had to get

that off of my chest. I am laughed at at work...I am called names...men

don't ask me out...they laugh at me. You all don't understand.... >>

sounds like the military is the worse place for a female with low

self-esteem. Perhaps for your own well-being, you may want to reconsider your

professional options?

Making money is not worth being miserable 24/7

Barb

who worked for the FBI for a year but quit cuz it was very male-oriented in

the early 70s

[Guest guest]

<<Well everyone, my knee is getting worse. The growth is getting bigger. I

had an ultrasound last Wed. I go back for the results on this Wed. I went

walking last night, and just to see if it would hurt, I jogged a couple of

steps...YEP it sure did hurt! After I was done (I was with some friends who

were running), I sat down, and my knee locked in a bent position...it hurt

so badly. I probably should have gone to the hospital, but I sucked it up

and went home cuz I knew that they couldn't do anything for me there. So

please wish me luck on my test results, and please keep me in your thoughts

and

prayers if you could! Thanks.>>

I certainly wish you luck with the results and truly hope that it's nothing

serious.

Now I'm sorry to be so blunt, but what's the point of our thoughts and

prayers if you're going to re-injure yourself by doing things you've been

told not to - that's like sticking you hand in the fire after you've just

been scalded!! At least help yourself by doing what you are advised and

look after yourself properly please, and most obviously this is a case of

NOT pushing yourself because it would appear to be something you cannot

'work through', you must be patient and put yourself under the guidance of

you healthcare professional. Take good care of yourself *HUG*

Jill

who knows how hard it is to know the difference between 'working through'

things and resting & getting professional help to recover.

[Guest guest]

Yo ...

I just noticed that you " sucked it up " in your message about your

knee.

I know the " suck it up and drive on " ... I lived it in the Army

(sometimes by choice and sometimes not) and NOW I pay. Paratrooping

kills your knees and I never " took care " of myself, cauz I was tough

and all that.

Now, my knees always hurt (4 yrs later)...and it impinges on my life

in everyway--especially working out and I HATE it.

PLEASE!!!!!! Take care of yourself hon...

AND make sure to use your military heath care that you oh soooo much

deserve and pay for!

love,

mixmasta_heather

PS...Happy 4th to all, way over here for me..

my 2nd 4th i´ve missed. you all celebrate for me!

[Guest guest]

> I am laughed at at work...I am called names...men

> don't ask me out...they laugh at me. You all don't understand....

,

I am sorry that your knee is hurting more now than before! I hope

that it is not as serious as you imagine (cancer) and that it is

something that can be taken care of with rest and not surgery! I

will keep you in my thoughts and hope that you hear good news on

Wednesday at the Doctor's!

I have to respond to you statement that we don't understand what you

are going through. I would have to disagree with that because there

are many people here who have been laughed at because of their weight

or who have been sidelined with an injury and felt helpless because

they were limited as to what they could/could not do. You are right

in saying that most of us have no idea what it's like to be in the

military (although, there are a few on this list who can relate to

that aspect), but that doesn't mean we don't know what it's like to

be laughed at, or called names or discriminated against in many

ways. There are cruel people in the world, no matter where you go.

You cannot give them power over you. When you let them make you feel

bad....then they have won. You must believe in yourself and what you

are doing and know that for now....you are doing all that you are

capable of doing. , you are more than your weight. I know

it's frustrating to not be able to run or do tae-bo or do many of the

things you are used to being able to do. But, this will pass.

Hopefully, your knee will get better and you will one day be able to

get back into the activities you love to do. I understand about

testing your limits. I would be the same way. Now, you know what

you can/can't do! And you know that you have to take it easy and let

your knee heal. I'm sure you will feel better on Wednesday once you

know what you are dealing with. Please, take it easy! You will get

through this. We all have hardships in our lives. We all struggle

with many of the same things you are struggling with. So, we

definitely understand how you feel. You are not alone.

[Guest guest]

I'm coming in late on this cuz I've been so busy.

, we're all thinking about you and sending cybervibes your way in

hopes that your knee will be fine.

I understand about testing your limits. I've done it with my back

situation. Gotta see what, and how much, I can do before the pain gets too

back. Thankfully the chiropractor is helping my back.

I'm sure you will get the treatment you need for your knee. Just don't

push it, OK? AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THE " C " WORD!

-- Sandy

[Guest guest]

,

I am out of the military now.. but I was stationed at Ft. Bragg,NC

and then spent 4 years at Cherry Point Marine Corps Airstation..we

obviously had the Naval Hospital there...

Not all the time I was pleased with military doctors.. but hopefully

you can find an " ok " one..

just keep pressing.

and as for the " fat " in the military, I DO understand. And most of

my female collegues at the time DID TOO. I spent my whole four years

dealing with it. Not that I was " fat " I was not in the Army´s

limits

for my age (at the time).. I am 5ft 3in. and have always been

muscular as hell, so I weighed in a lot at like 141, etc.. which was

over the limit.. THen of course I had to go through the humiliation

of the " tape test " (body fat test) and that was horrible..

Even though in the Army (for my unit) we ran/pt'td 5 days a week, of

course before the dreaded bi-annual pt test, it would be, starve, run

like hell, then back to normal.. horrible for some of us-

My military experience was great for the most part, never worked so

hard in my life.. but I can say (in regards to Barb´s message)

that

it was not until I got out into the " civilian world " that I

experienced problems with gender bias and all that sort. I found that

no matter where you are, if you have low self esteem, it shows..

if you want to vent about the military or whatever... feel free to

email me...

heather " at " i-k-c.net

mixmasta_heather

[Guest guest]

<<Perhaps for your own well-being, you may want to reconsider your

professional options?

Making money is not worth being miserable 24/7

Barb

who worked for the FBI for a year but quit cuz it was very male-oriented in

the early 70s>>

Totally agree with you Barb, no job is worth being miserable in long term.

I had to 'vote with my feet' from my previous job, and I'm so grateful that

I have been given enough understanding and tolerance in my current job to be

able to work at recovering from my injuries and depression, and getting fit

and my life back in order.

Jill

who only wished last night that I could pass on my experience to a friend in

trouble to ease her road ahead, but knows we all have to learn our own way

in our own time.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/00 3:08:27 AM Hawaiian Standard Time,

Horsemom2@... writes:

<< sounds like the military is the worse place for a female with low

self-esteem. Perhaps for your own well-being, you may want to reconsider

your

professional options?

Making money is not worth being miserable 24/7

Barb

who worked for the FBI for a year but quit cuz it was very male-oriented in

the early 70s >>

I can't just get out. I am getting out after my initial enlistment is up. I

started a business so that I can stay at home with my son when I get out an

home school. The military is not a good place for anyone who isn't a

" perfect person " ...which I am not. You are expected to be perfect, and for

those of us who are not, it is not easy. though I PT more than most people

at my command, that doesn't matter unless I am rail thin. And I am not.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/00 3:13:23 AM Hawaiian Standard Time,

diamonique@... writes:

<< I'm sure you will get the treatment you need for your knee. Just don't

push it, OK? AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THE " C " WORD!

-- Sandy

>>

Theanks Sandy!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/00 3:30:25 AM Hawaiian Standard Time,

j.clappison@... writes:

<< Totally agree with you Barb, no job is worth being miserable in long term.

I had to 'vote with my feet' from my previous job, and I'm so grateful that

I have been given enough understanding and tolerance in my current job to be

able to work at recovering from my injuries and depression, and getting fit

and my life back in order. >>

I CAN'T JUST QUIT MY JOB! I really wish that I could, but I have three more

years in the military. This is not like the civilian world where you can put

in your two week notice and that is it...I have to ride out my enlistment,

unless because of my knee I get a med board and disability...

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/00 2:22:06 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

Honeybear3899@... writes:

<< I don't know what my family history is

and...::gulp:: I am afraid that I might have cancer. I know that this is

probably the worst case scenario, but I can't help but be worried about it.

Thanks.

>>

, please dont worry to much about it. And try not to think to much

into the cancer scenario it may be something so simple. dont scare yourself

more then you have to. i know that pain has a way of pushing you into the

unknown, you just have to stand your ground and say " i will get through this

too " you will get through this i know you will. just take a deep breath and

relax as much as you can . I am a person who always looks at worse case

scenarios and I think I have learned taking a deep breath and relaxing does

help alot. I am here for you.

ROMIE

[Guest guest]

Most people don't understand about testing your limits. I had to see

exactly

what I could do. I am allowed to walk, though now I can tell my doc on

Wed

that it hurts too much to even do that. I HAD to test my limits...noone

seems to understand that...noone...I wish someone would.

,

I think most of us DO understand about testing our limits - that's what

we do with Tae-bo, and so many other things every day. I think everyone

is just concerned. Noone wants to see you damage your knee even more.

About the knot perhaps being cancer...I really don't think that would be

the case, or even the suspicion of it. When they suspected I had

cancer, the radiology people had my ultrasounds rushed over immediately

- like within 2 hours, and I was called by my doctor to come in the next

day. I had laparascopy, and prepared mentally to expect a complete

hysterectomy, with an oncologist present during the surgery so that he

could look at it about 3 days after that. Doctors do not take chances

with cancer. I was lucky and it was not cancer.

About testing the limits. I have chronic pain (bad, only under control

with meds) and fibro from a car accident in 1994 when I was 29 - I have

to test my limits every single day. Sometimes I have to push too much,

because of things that HAVE to be done, and I DO pay for it.

Unfortunately, that is part of my life, and will be from now on. You're

still very young, and you are doing great for all that you have been

through and are going through. But don't make the mistake of thinking

that you are the only one that has to push through something hard. It's

easy to get into that self-pitying phase and hard to get out of it!! I

KNOW!!! Sometimes I think about my ILs or some of my other friends,

but, you know, they have things that they are going through, or have

gone through, that wouldn't be easy either!! They made it through the

fire, I have made it part-way, and you can do it too!!! You have

already gone through alot, you are strong, and you will make it through

this too!!

Regards,

K in Texas

(I don't want this to sound like I am mean or mad at you, it's sooo hard

to write like I want it to sound!! I hope that you can read it in the

way that I mean it!! Hugs and good luck with your appointment

tomorrow!! Let us know as soon as you find out anything!!!)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/00 8:19:14 AM Hawaiian Standard Time,

FRCHYFREY@... writes:

<< I am a person who always looks at worse case

scenarios and I think I have learned taking a deep breath and relaxing does

help alot. I am here for you.

ROMIE >>

I have been taking lots of deep breaths lately...thanks!

[Guest guest]

So please wish me luck on my test results, and please keep me in your

thoughts and prayers if you could! Thanks.

>

>

{{{}}}

I am wishing you luck and sending healing thoughts your way!

;-)

F

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/00 10:50:43 PM Hawaiian Standard Time,

j.clappison@... writes:

<<

I wasn't talking about you, it was about me and what happened to me.

>>

I know that you were not talking about me, but I hear that maybe I should not

put so much stock in my work, but right now, if I odn't have the military, I

have nothing.

Remember that a lot of people have been through their own traumas, tragedies

and adversity in their lives and very often if you met them you would have

absolutely no idea about any of it.

I know that all people have their own problems, and I don't mean to sound

like such an ungrateful b**ch, I just have to vent once in a while....I am

not meaning to take anything out on anyone...I am sorry if I offended you...

[Guest guest]

<< I CAN'T JUST QUIT MY JOB! I really wish that I could, but I have three

more years in the military.>>

I wasn't talking about you, it was about me and what happened to me.

<<This is not like the civilian world where you can put in your two week

notice and that is it..>>

The 'civilian world' I live in isn't like that either (unless the US is

drastically different from England which I doubt) - it isn't that 'rosy' out

here or as easy as you think it is!

Remember that a lot of people have been through their own traumas, tragedies

and adversity in their lives and very often if you met them you would have

absolutely no idea about any of it.

I hope things go well for you today when you get your results.

Jill

[Guest guest]

I'm not offended, more the opposite, I'm concerned and feel very deeply for

you, but the 'tone' of you venting seems to indicate you have a lot more

issues to deal with than just your knee, and I hope that you're continuing

to get real help with your state of mind as well as your knee.

I've said this to you before if you're in pain (and most likely depressed)

the whole world goes out of perspective.. For me it was the worst

combination I've ever had to deal with (injury, pain depression etc..) and 3

years on I'm still working hard on overcoming all the damage done both

physically and mentally.

IMHO I think that you have proved that you need to allow yourself time to

get sorted out/heal/recover, try to learn to control the things you can

control and not waste precious energy on worrying about the things you

can't, that energy could be better used for healing.

Take Care *HUG*

Jill

who knows she's very blunt sometimes (which it is a trait of being a

Yorkshire woman), but doesn't mean any harm.

Re: Update on my knee (OT)

In a message dated 7/4/00 10:50:43 PM Hawaiian Standard Time,

j.clappison@... writes:

<<

I wasn't talking about you, it was about me and what happened to me.

>>

I know that you were not talking about me, but I hear that maybe I should

not

put so much stock in my work, but right now, if I odn't have the military, I

have nothing.

Remember that a lot of people have been through their own traumas, tragedies

and adversity in their lives and very often if you met them you would have

absolutely no idea about any of it.

I know that all people have their own problems, and I don't mean to sound

like such an ungrateful b**ch, I just have to vent once in a while....I am

not meaning to take anything out on anyone...I am sorry if I offended you...

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/00 10:41:19 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

Honeybear3899@... writes:

<< in your two week notice and that is it...I have to ride out my enlistment,

unless because of my knee I get a med board and disability...

>>

heather if your knee is that bad you just might be getting a med. discharge,

free your mind of worry girl and relax.

ROMIE

[Guest guest]

> Can I put in my two cents?

Talia,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with (and us)! Your post

was beautifully written and very inspirational! I am sure that it

helped many people