Moronic warnings

[Guest guest]

Moronic warnings

Of late, I have seen a dangerous trend on TV Advertisements. They assume

that all of us viewers are idiots. Okay! Okay! I need to change that. The

fact that we are watching their ads means that we are idiots, but I am

insulted by the fact that they think that we are more idiotic than we

actually are.

What do they mean by adding a sub text stating that all actions are

performed by experts, and we should not attempt them at home? Only a moron

of the highest (or lowest, depending on your perspective) order would even

think of jumping from an eight storey building, pole vaulting over tall

walls and dodging hurtling traffic to grab a bottle of cola from a passing

truck. Everyone knows that you can get killed while doing that. Yes, the

truck driver is going to pummel you to death for trying to steal a free

bottle of cola!

This trend of jumping about in fast traffic or down steep mountain slopes is

common in soft drinks ads, leading me to believe that some of the contents

of these drinks may be injurious to mental health. My grouse is that we all

know that these actions are performed by experts.......expert animators,

that is! But there are some more dangerous ads which need a warning, but are

passed off as normal everyday things. I think that these dangerous ads

should be banned or at least carry a fair warning.

For example, we could have a short caution telling us before the ad that the

child shown throwing sauce on the man's shirt and then nodding her head

wisely is under psychiatric treatment, and her action should not be emulated

by any sane person. The sauce thrower could get a thorough dressing down, or

what is popularly known in Hindi as " Dhulai " , for acting so recklessly.

A terse message could be flashed that any husband who expects his wife to

jump with joy and strew flowers when he hands over a new dishwashing liquid

or a new perfumed detergent is in for a sore disappointment. The wife is

going to smash that bottle on his head for not getting a new housemaid

instead!

We could have a disclaimer that the company is not responsible for any

criminal charges against anyone who imitates the guy who insults and

torments his boss on the strength of a simple email from a job site. And, of

course, any lowly worker who shows off his new shiny red car in front of his

boss can expect all wage increments to stop with immediate effect, making

all further EMIs of the same car impossible to meet.

A simple message is needed stating that anyone who thinks that using a

fairness cream or a toothpaste or some deodorant, which smells like

chocolate, will make all girls follow him like a Pied Piper should first get

his head examined thoroughly and purged of all such delusions.

And, of course, the greatest offenders are the ads out to grab your money

for investments. They should have clear and curt warnings stating that all

the investment avenues shown are recommended by experts who think that they

are experts, and the portions showing the investor suicides have been

deleted due to their graphic nature!

Kishore Shah 1974