Inspiration and Transformation Newsletter for February 20, 2012

[Guest guest]

Inspiration and Transformation Newsletter Lynne Namka, Ed. D. Quote for the week: "A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws." Anonymous <:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<::<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:: Technology, the Social Media and Narcissistic Behavior Lynne Namka, Ed. D. © 2012 Is modern technology making us more involved with ourselves? Certainly starting decades ago, the media and advertising have increased the “ME generation.†“Have it your way,†the fast food commercial said and that’s become the entitlement thinking of a segment of our population. Indeed our society is going through a (hopefully) phase where some people, mostly young, feel the need to relate minute details of their lives via Twitter or texting: “I’m eating a Twinkie right now. I’m standing in line at the mall, etc.†Most of us think, but politely refrain from saying, “Who cares?†A recent research study showed that the more Facebook pictures of self, the more pages and the more posts of details about themselves indicates more narcissism as in “It’s about me and I can post it to the world!†There is a vast error in thinking in those who think that others care about the mundane details of their lives. They are caught in the TMI Syndrome—Too Much Information About ME! As Agnes Repplier said, "It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere." When someone you care about who rarely gets angry goes on a tirade at you, take this as an opportunity to learn something about yourself, them and the relationship that the two of you have created. There can be vital information for you underneath another person’s anger if you have the courage to look for it. There can be a kernel of truth in outbursts of anger. Preoccupation with any addictive or compulsive behavior can render a person more selfish as they need more and more of the pleasurable activity to gain the same level of fix. So gamblers and video game addicts become less interested in the needs of others and can become more involved in getting their own needs met. Addictive habits when done repeatedly can bring the user little or no pleasures and can exploit the reward pathways of the brain according to Linden. His book, Compass of Pleasure, explains the role of the dopamine system in addictive activities. Having these self-absorbed traits is a normal stage of development in two-year olds and then later in the teen years. Fortunately most people naturally outgrow the need to be the center of attention. Trauma in families and horrific events that happen with wars can cause more narcissistic behaviors. Although men have been shown to be more narcissistic than women, they usually are not as verbally expressive but are more demanding in getting their own way and making most of the decisions for the family. Narcissistic women have more emotional need for drama and power. The Desperate Housewives and other reality television shows are dripping with narcissism. People who anxiously describe every detail of their lives have the erroneous belief that others are interested because their life is seen as being sooooo special. Monologue talking and refusing to hear other people’s boundaries because of the need to anxiously discharge verbal energy is overwhelming to the listener. Some people are blind to their own faults and the more severely disturbed know what they are doing and are proud of it. My son made a brilliant observation when he worked in a nursing home during his high school days. He noted that selfish old people didn’t get visitors and ended up alone unless they had money! People who are demanding or those who fight with others can end up alone and bitter, always believing that others are at fault. The denial defenses of knowing one’s own part of a problem in self-involved people can be powerful. To bravely observe and confront one’s narcissistic traits whether small or large again and again are acts of courage that will bring great satisfaction. Perhaps examining our own narcissistic traits is to go boldly where man often dares not to tread—that last frontier of the ego. Peace and joy, Lynne <:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<::<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<:::>><<: “I am not the victim of the world that I see.†A Course in Miracles “Let’s put it this way, if your present lifestyle is not taking you where you want to go it is time for a change …You need to learn a new way to achieve the lifestyle that you want.†Casiano Get your FREE copy of Lynne Namka’s e-book Your Quick Anger Makeover! Sign up for our mailing list today and get a copy at www.timetoloveyourself.com. Packed with the newest ideas about how to understand and liberate anger and other unwanted, raw emotions, this e-book is a practical, light-hearted guide to take you through your wildest and wooliest feelings. Subscribe |