Guest guest Posted April 13, 2005 Report Share Posted April 13, 2005 Welcome. Love, Steve D. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I have a problem with my mom. There is so much to it so > i > > > don´t > > > > > > know > > > > > > > where to start. All I hear in my head is Help!!! My > > > > grandmother, > > > > > 92 > > > > > > > years old, has an apartment filled with all of her old > > > antique > > > > > > > things. Since a couple of years back she lives with a > man > > > she > > > > > met > > > > > > > after my granfather passed away. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Two months ago my mother and her husband decided to move > > > into > > > > > > > grandma´s apartment. They took over the apartment and > all > > of > > > > her > > > > > > > things. At first It seemed like they had an agreement > and > > > > > > everything > > > > > > > was fine. But then I talked to grandma. She cried. She > said > > > she > > > > > > > didn´t wanted to do this but she was to old and sick and > > > tired > > > > > to > > > > > > > fight it. She said she just waited to die now. She was > > > > > devastated > > > > > > > over what they had done to her things. Some they had > thrown > > > > > away, > > > > > > > others the had thrown in a storage in a mess. To my > sister > > > my > > > > > mom > > > > > > > said: oh, when mom dies and we finally get some money, > then > > > we > > > > > are > > > > > > > going to celebrate and by ourselfs some really expensive > > > jeans " . > > > > > > > When I grew up my mom was mentally ill so grandma raised > > us. > > > I > > > > > see > > > > > > > her more as my mom than my real mom and she sees us > > > > > grandchildren > > > > > > as > > > > > > > her own children. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I haven´t been able to talk to my mom since i got all > > > > > information > > > > > > > about this. It´s not that I am furious at my mom. It`s > more > > > > that > > > > > my > > > > > > > heart is bleeding for grandma. And that I have this > really > > > > > strong > > > > > > > feeling that i should stay away from my mom. She is not > a > > > good > > > > > > > person, not for me to be around. I don´t believe she´s > > doing > > > > > this > > > > > > > out of evilness. I think she´s doing it out of craving. > She > > > has > > > > > > been > > > > > > > that way for as long as i can remember. If it was one > piece > > > of > > > > > > > chocolate left, she took it. And we could watch. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Mom shouldn´t have moved into grandma´s apartment and > taken > > > all > > > > > her > > > > > > > things. Is it true? No, she did that. Whose business are > > you > > > > in? > > > > > > > mom´s. Does this thought bring stress or peace into your > > > life? > > > > A > > > > > > lot > > > > > > > of stress. Can you see a peaceful reason to keep this > > > thought? > > > > I > > > > > > see > > > > > > > I want to keep it because it is so wrong, but no, I see > no > > > > > peaceful > > > > > > > reason to keep it. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > How do you feel when you attach to this story? I get > angry > > > at > > > > > mom > > > > > > > for being so greedy. She could at least have waited > until > > > > > grandma > > > > > > is > > > > > > > dead! I dislike her and don´t want to have anything to > do > > > with > > > > > > her. > > > > > > > I feel I can´t trust her one bit. She is a lying, > > > selfoccupied, > > > > > > > pathetic person. I feel so sorry for grandma. I wish i > > could > > > > > help > > > > > > > her. My heart breaks when i hear her so depressed and > just > > > > > longing > > > > > > > for death. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Who would you be without that thought? Living in > reality. > > > Being > > > > > in > > > > > > > my business. Maybe seing my mothers joy of having a nice > > > > > apartment > > > > > > > with beautiful things. Being better able to comfort > grandma > > > > > without > > > > > > > all of my own upsetness. But this is just guessing, > because > > > I > > > > > can´t > > > > > > > really feel who i would be without the story. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > TA: Mom should have moved into grandma´s apartment and > > taken > > > > all > > > > > > her > > > > > > > things. Truer. That was what happened. My thinking > > shouldn´t > > > > > have > > > > > > > moved into grandma´s apartment and taken all her things. > > > True. > > > > > My > > > > > > > thinking was there, doing it, instead of here with me. > And > > > so > > > > > pain > > > > > > > is born. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I should see my mothers joy of having fun in grandmas > > > > apartment. > > > > > Is > > > > > > > it true? No, because I certainly don´t. How do you react > > > when > > > > > you > > > > > > > think that thought? I feel that I try to force myself > > beyond > > > my > > > > > > > evolution. It feels uncomfortable. I feel untrue. I feel > I > > > am > > > > > > trying > > > > > > > to be nice when I don´t feel nice. I feel a lie. It > feels > > > wrong. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Who would you be without that thought? True to myself. > > Still > > > > > angry, > > > > > > > but not lying. In it lies some kind of peace even though > > > angry > > > > > > isn´t > > > > > > > so peaceful. But rather angry and true than angry and > lying. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > TA:I shouldn´t see my mothers joy of having fun in > grandmas > > > > > > > apartment. No, not until I do. > > > > > > > I should see my own joy of having fun in God´s garden. I > > > don´t > > > > > know > > > > > > > where that tA came from, but i like it! And it sounds > true > > > > > too... I > > > > > > > interpret it as as long as i am in others business i´m > > blind > > > > for > > > > > > all > > > > > > > the fun there is in God´s garden. But as soon as i > return > > > back > > > > > home > > > > > > > again I can have all the joy i want. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > If you have any comments or any suggestions on how to > get > > > > > futher, > > > > > > > they are very welcome. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Love, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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