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Re: Mommy-problem

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Welcome.

Love, Steve D.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I have a problem with my mom. There is so much to it so

> i

> > > don´t

> > > > > > know

> > > > > > > where to start. All I hear in my head is Help!!! My

> > > > grandmother,

> > > > > 92

> > > > > > > years old, has an apartment filled with all of her old

> > > antique

> > > > > > > things. Since a couple of years back she lives with a

> man

> > > she

> > > > > met

> > > > > > > after my granfather passed away.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Two months ago my mother and her husband decided to

move

> > > into

> > > > > > > grandma´s apartment. They took over the apartment and

> all

> > of

> > > > her

> > > > > > > things. At first It seemed like they had an agreement

> and

> > > > > > everything

> > > > > > > was fine. But then I talked to grandma. She cried. She

> said

> > > she

> > > > > > > didn´t wanted to do this but she was to old and sick

and

> > > tired

> > > > > to

> > > > > > > fight it. She said she just waited to die now. She was

> > > > > devastated

> > > > > > > over what they had done to her things. Some they had

> thrown

> > > > > away,

> > > > > > > others the had thrown in a storage in a mess. To my

> sister

> > > my

> > > > > mom

> > > > > > > said: oh, when mom dies and we finally get some money,

> then

> > > we

> > > > > are

> > > > > > > going to celebrate and by ourselfs some really

expensive

> > > jeans " .

> > > > > > > When I grew up my mom was mentally ill so grandma

raised

> > us.

> > > I

> > > > > see

> > > > > > > her more as my mom than my real mom and she sees us

> > > > > grandchildren

> > > > > > as

> > > > > > > her own children.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I haven´t been able to talk to my mom since i got all

> > > > > information

> > > > > > > about this. It´s not that I am furious at my mom. It`s

> more

> > > > that

> > > > > my

> > > > > > > heart is bleeding for grandma. And that I have this

> really

> > > > > strong

> > > > > > > feeling that i should stay away from my mom. She is not

> a

> > > good

> > > > > > > person, not for me to be around. I don´t believe she´s

> > doing

> > > > > this

> > > > > > > out of evilness. I think she´s doing it out of craving.

> She

> > > has

> > > > > > been

> > > > > > > that way for as long as i can remember. If it was one

> piece

> > > of

> > > > > > > chocolate left, she took it. And we could watch.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Mom shouldn´t have moved into grandma´s apartment and

> taken

> > > all

> > > > > her

> > > > > > > things. Is it true? No, she did that. Whose business

are

> > you

> > > > in?

> > > > > > > mom´s. Does this thought bring stress or peace into

your

> > > life?

> > > > A

> > > > > > lot

> > > > > > > of stress. Can you see a peaceful reason to keep this

> > > thought?

> > > > I

> > > > > > see

> > > > > > > I want to keep it because it is so wrong, but no, I see

> no

> > > > > peaceful

> > > > > > > reason to keep it.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > How do you feel when you attach to this story? I get

> angry

> > > at

> > > > > mom

> > > > > > > for being so greedy. She could at least have waited

> until

> > > > > grandma

> > > > > > is

> > > > > > > dead! I dislike her and don´t want to have anything to

> do

> > > with

> > > > > > her.

> > > > > > > I feel I can´t trust her one bit. She is a lying,

> > > selfoccupied,

> > > > > > > pathetic person. I feel so sorry for grandma. I wish i

> > could

> > > > > help

> > > > > > > her. My heart breaks when i hear her so depressed and

> just

> > > > > longing

> > > > > > > for death.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Who would you be without that thought? Living in

> reality.

> > > Being

> > > > > in

> > > > > > > my business. Maybe seing my mothers joy of having a

nice

> > > > > apartment

> > > > > > > with beautiful things. Being better able to comfort

> grandma

> > > > > without

> > > > > > > all of my own upsetness. But this is just guessing,

> because

> > > I

> > > > > can´t

> > > > > > > really feel who i would be without the story.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > TA: Mom should have moved into grandma´s apartment and

> > taken

> > > > all

> > > > > > her

> > > > > > > things. Truer. That was what happened. My thinking

> > shouldn´t

> > > > > have

> > > > > > > moved into grandma´s apartment and taken all her

things.

> > > True.

> > > > > My

> > > > > > > thinking was there, doing it, instead of here with me.

> And

> > > so

> > > > > pain

> > > > > > > is born.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I should see my mothers joy of having fun in grandmas

> > > > apartment.

> > > > > Is

> > > > > > > it true? No, because I certainly don´t. How do you

react

> > > when

> > > > > you

> > > > > > > think that thought? I feel that I try to force myself

> > beyond

> > > my

> > > > > > > evolution. It feels uncomfortable. I feel untrue. I

feel

> I

> > > am

> > > > > > trying

> > > > > > > to be nice when I don´t feel nice. I feel a lie. It

> feels

> > > wrong.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Who would you be without that thought? True to myself.

> > Still

> > > > > angry,

> > > > > > > but not lying. In it lies some kind of peace even

though

> > > angry

> > > > > > isn´t

> > > > > > > so peaceful. But rather angry and true than angry and

> lying.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > TA:I shouldn´t see my mothers joy of having fun in

> grandmas

> > > > > > > apartment. No, not until I do.

> > > > > > > I should see my own joy of having fun in God´s garden.

I

> > > don´t

> > > > > know

> > > > > > > where that tA came from, but i like it! And it sounds

> true

> > > > > too... I

> > > > > > > interpret it as as long as i am in others business i´m

> > blind

> > > > for

> > > > > > all

> > > > > > > the fun there is in God´s garden. But as soon as i

> return

> > > back

> > > > > home

> > > > > > > again I can have all the joy i want.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > If you have any comments or any suggestions on how to

> get

> > > > > futher,

> > > > > > > they are very welcome.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Love,

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