MORNING COFFEE

[Guest guest]

Criticisms You DON’T Want to Ignore

by Jane “What are your patterns of criticism?â€

Is there repetitive critical feedback that you receive on a regular basis? If so, this feedback is worthy of your attention.

Repeated criticisms are opportunities, to learn about yourself. Perhaps over the years, you have been told you’re an “ice queen,†you’re unapproachable or you’re shy. Though these criticisms may not be true or may reflect another’s misinterpretations, they still deserve your attention.

So, stop being defensive. Instead of resisting, examine the feedback. Perhaps your shyness is coming across to others as aloofness, arrogance or hardheartedness. Though the truth may be the exact opposite, recognize that such impressions may close wonderful doors of opportunity.

If negative feedback repeats itself, give it thoughtful attention. A little attention now may open many big doors, later.

'OHANA MEANS FAMILYTwo men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them complained of family problems.Finally, the other man said, "You think you have family problems? Listen. A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter, and we got married. Later my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law."Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son, but he was also the son of my wife's daughter, which made him my wife's grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half-brother."This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife. I'm my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I'm my own grandfather. Now - tell me about your family problems."I don't know if sorting out your family is a problem. A bigger issue for many of us is that we want more from family life than just knowing who's who, and more than we're presently getting.One of the most common complaints I hear from families is that they are not close. They may be close in proximity, but still not feel close as a family. They may live next door or even in the same house, but feel more like strangers.Hawaiians have a powerful word for family: 'ohana. In 'ohana, people matter. And they know it. As Lilo says in "Lilo and Stitch, "'Ohana means family. Family means no one is left behind - or forgotten." Families that value closeness work hard to keep anyone from feeling left behind or forgotten.In my family, closeness is not so much about latitude as about attitude. We live far apart from one another, so we need a willingness to do what it takes. We feel closest when we feel understood, when we feel loved and when we look forward to time we can spend together. When we succeed, no one feels left behind - or forgotten.A reader in Hawaii once wrote to tell me that the CEO of one of the state's largest banks was considering a run for governor. Since he was well-liked, he seemed to have a good chance of winning.But, before filing papers, he changed his mind, stating that he wanted to spend more time with his family. Not that elected officials can't be family-oriented, but he reasoned he needed more time at home than the job allowed. A. Young, in the "Honolulu Advertiser," praised the decision. "No matter what you accomplish in the business world or the social world," he said, "if you fail 'ohana, then you have not accomplished much. Failure or success does not lie in the material wealth you provide them. It is measured by what of yourself you give to them."And that's the question, isn't it? What of myself do I give to them? What am I willing to give to 'ohana? Because no one should be left behind - or forgotten. Steve Goodier

From where you are No matter how far you’ve fallen behind, you can choose at any point to start moving forward. Even though nothing else may be going your way, you can decide to get your thoughts and actions going your way. Success is a function of your direction and persistence, not your starting point. When you’re ready to start making a positive difference in your own life and in the lives of others, any starting point will do just fine. You are where you are, so accept and embrace the situation. Then find some valuable and useful aspect of it that you can utilize to get yourself going. From where you are, you can move in any direction you choose. From where you are, you can eventually reach any destination you are committed to reaching. It will happen not because of where you’ve already been or what others have told you. It will happen when you decide to make it happen. Now is when you can make that decision, and take control of your future. From where you are, with your passion to make it happen, anything is possible. Ralph Marston

-Dear Readers, " Morning Coffee " is a labor of love and meant to be shared with others to spread encouragement and inspiration. If you share, please be kind and give credit where credit is due and copy and paste or forward with Page Header and contact information included.Thank you , " Morning Coffee"Created, and maintained by:Dizzyrizzy2U@...GrandmaGail2BC@...Copyright © 1996 -2011" Morning Coffee" all rights reserved.To subscribe or unsubscribe send an email to the following email addresses. Subscribe: YourMorningCoffee-subscribe Unsubscribe: YourMorningCoffee-unsubscribe