Work on my dad

[Guest guest]

My dad should approve of me and support me.

Is it true? When he does it´s true, and when he doesn´t it´s a lie.

All the times I haven´t got his approval and support, having a baby,

changing my last name, getting another puppy, it was not true.

How do you react when you believe this thought and you don´t get his

approval and support? I see him as very negative, old-fashioned and

it makes me sad and angry. I don´t want to hear his scary future-

thoughts. They all end up in some kind of disaster. And it makes me

feel that he doesn´t trust me. And I wonder why, I take it very

personal. It is very stressful to talk to him, even though I remain

to stay calm and answer him very calm and rationell. I don´t go into

war with him, but inside of me I have this wish that he would just

like the things I do, and not only when it comes to getting an

education and a job and making money. And there is where the stress

kicks in. I want to change him.

Who would you be without this thought? I would see his opinions as

just opinions that has nothing with me to do. I wouldn´t take it

personal, but see the love in my father. I would see his worries as

cute and love him even more for it. Just love him unconditionally.

And that would be very peaceful and nice. I would feel happiness.

TA: My dad shouldn´t approve of me and support me. This is true when

he doesn´t. In what way can that hurt me? I go inside with this, but

I can´t find one single thing that can hurt me.

I should approve of my dad and support him. Can I find when I´m not

doing this? Yes, when he shares his opinions with me and I don´t

agree. Then I feel how I withdraw myself from him, I don´t feel

loving, I don´t want to give anything, I just want to have. I want

to have understanding, but I´m not willing to give any. This is

really something for me to work on.

I should approve of myself and support myself. Yes, this sounds

truest. I can wish for others approval and support for the rest of

my life and live with this stress every time I don´t get it. Because

there will always be someone who doesn´t approve of what I do or

doesn´t support my actions. But if I have my own approval and

support, I can always feel safe, and I don´t have to wait for the

world to change. I can rest assure that I can trust myself. That

would be heaven!

Thank you for listening,