Guest guest Posted December 15, 2010 Report Share Posted December 15, 2010 Hello Fatu, Great to hear another MGIMSite heading to Turkey. Hope u all have a great time. Waiting for the breaking news from Sogiawala family. Chalta hain,Angreezon ne hamare desh ka bahut bhoora haal kiya. Aap,aaisi Angrezi lik'kar,unki Waat laga dena..(ha ha ha ) We enjoy reading ur emails..this way. The real HATKE ish-style  To,Kishoreda, I thout Kishoreda,like a,one,who would like to forget his  girlfriend who ditched him and gave him heartache,I thout,u too would want to forget Turkey for the timebeing,for giving U the Heartache,of ur lifetime!!. But,u seem to want more.. Really,Yeh aapka Dil Maange More...is what I can say,to ur request,to Fatima. Bye Shyam(84). > > > > > > > > > Subject: RE: Dil se Bill tak > > > To: " mgims sewagram " <mgims > > > > Date: Monday, 13 December, 2010, 10:14 AM > > > > > > Excellent narration, with Kishore's usual style .Sporting always, all > > > situations. > > > Best wishes > > > OPGupta > > > > > > To: mgims > > > From: kshahsky@... > > > Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2010 20:10:41 +0530 > > > Subject: Dil se Bill tak > > > > > > > > > > > > First of let me thank all of you for your immense love, which pulled > > > me > > > through these difficult days. My son kept reading out the emails to me > > > and > > > that is what cheered me up. Now let me cheer you up: here goes my > > > account of > > > what happened.... > > > > > > Heart Attack > > > > > > As I was rushed to the Cardiac ICU, I just had this sinking feeling in > > > my > > > heart. Just like the one before you enter the Viva Voce hall and see > > > the > > > most khadoos examiner in place, only worse. > > > > > > The resident there was quite courteous, “Sir, How are you feeling?†> > > > > > I looked at him groggily and whispered, “Just like Rakhi Sawant!†> > > > > > He looked at me perplexed. I continued and said, “I feel an unnatural > > > weight > > > on my chest.†> > > > > > The resident didn’t know whether to send me off to the Psychiatry ward > > > or > > > not. I said, “Aare Baba, ECG nikal, nahi toh main nikal jaoonga!†> > > > > > The funniest part of my heart attack, or “cardiac event†as the doctor > > > there > > > insisted on calling it, was that there was no pain. That would come > > > afterwards when they presented me the bill. But for now I was > > > painless. > > > > > > “Do you smoke?†persisted the resident. > > > > > > “I have never tried burning myself, but probably would.†My wife > > > nudged me > > > and intervened, “He does not smoke or drink. Just keeps cracking these > > > pointless PJs.†> > > > > > The resident promptly scribbled something on the pad. He probably > > > wrote that > > > the patient was delirious. After peering with screwed eyes at my ECG > > > he > > > said, “Q wave changes.†> > > > > > I said, “I give up. You tell me.†> > > > > > “What?†> > > > > > “I don’t know Kyon wave changes. You tell me.†> > > > > > The resident stopped telling me anything else. He turned to my wife > > > and > > > said, “It seems to be a minor infarct.†> > > > > > I don’t know what it is with doctors. How can you call any heart > > > infarct > > > minor? If there is an infarct, it is a major thing, at least for the > > > patient. There was also some depressing talk about ST depressions. > > > Here I > > > felt as if an ST bus was driving over my chest, who bothered whether > > > that ST > > > was depressed or happy? > > > > > > I was immediately admitted to the ICCU and posted for an Angiography > > > the > > > next day. One piece of advice to all Cardiac care units: If you do not > > > want > > > your heart patients to have any further attacks, do not appoint such > > > lovely > > > young nurses. Most of the nurses in the entire world are from Kerala. > > > If all > > > the nurses return home, all the hospitals in the world will come to a > > > stop…. > > > And there will be no standing space in Kerala. > > > > > > There were big notices posted outside the door of the ICCU. “No > > > Visitors†> > > and no “No Mobilesâ€. Okay, so there would be no breaking news > > > dispatches > > > from me. Soon a pretty, young Malyali nurse came and told me “Gaana > > > Gaaneka > > > nai.†> > > > > > This came as a shock to me. Not that I wanted to break out into a song > > > and > > > dance routine. I could understand that visitors might disturb the > > > patient, > > > or even the mobiles. But songs? How could anyone be so unmusical? I > > > said > > > Okay but was a bit miffed. > > > > > > After many pricks and monitors on my body, half an hour later another > > > pretty > > > young thing came and told me “Gaana Gaaneka nai!†> > > > > > I was a bit angry. I said, “Yeah! Yeah! Someone told me before also.†> > > But > > > this really intrigued me. Why were they so strict about songs? If they > > > had > > > said that I could not dance due to my heart condition, I could have > > > accepted > > > that. But never in my long medical education had I been warned that > > > singing > > > was bad for cardiac health. I wondered if this was a new advance. > > > > > > The mystery was cleared when the next Malyali sister, who appeared to > > > be > > > their head nurse, came and explained to me, “Doctor Shah, Aap ka blood > > > samble subay saat ko hai. Toh abi Gaana Gaaneka nai. Phir Kaali pet > > > samble > > > lene ke baad Gaana Gaaneka.†> > > > > > I immediately added an interpreter to my mental suggestion box. It > > > must be > > > really tough to interpret Gaana as Khaana. But the Mallus can’t help > > > their > > > accent. > > > > > > After a relatively painless night, mainly because relatives were not > > > allowed, and also due to the various drips and things, I woke up to > > > the > > > prick of a blood ‘Samble’. Then I was allowed to ‘Gaana Gaaneko’. > > > > > > All the tests gave worse and worse news. There was an inferior wall > > > infarct > > > which the Cardiologist insisted on calling minor. (I hoped he would > > > remember > > > this while billing me.) My Trop T was raised. In short, this is a help > > > call > > > from the heart. I was posted for angiography and an SOS plasty the > > > nest day > > > after stabilization. > > > > > > On the morning of the procedure, I got the shock of my life, when a > > > grim > > > looking man entered my room and sent my wife out. He then locked the > > > room > > > and took out a large and sharp glistening razor. Omigosh! This was not > > > how > > > they performed operations, at least not during the last century. Or > > > was this > > > a scene from an assassin movie? The man then turned to me and smiled > > > and > > > said that he had come to shave me for the procedure. > > > > > > I sighed with relief. One always wants to look nice and presentable > > > for > > > important occasions even if they be the gallows. I smiled back at him > > > and > > > jutted out my chin at him for easy access. But he ignored my chin and > > > pulled > > > down my pajamas. I shrieked, “Hey, Its my heart that is amiss.†> > > > > > “Yes Sir. We need to shave your groin!†Groan Groan! > > > > > > Five minutes later, I was all spick and span and presentable for my > > > planned > > > procedure. Calling it a procedure, reduces the fear factor from it. If > > > you > > > call it an operation, which it is, you might suffer a further attack. > > > If you > > > call it a butchery, which it sometimes can be, then you need not go to > > > the > > > procedure. I proceeded with a sinking heart, if it could sink any > > > more, to > > > the operation room, which they call a cath lab. It’s all about > > > euphemism. > > > > > > When I entered the ‘Cath lab’, I found it extremely cold. Was the AC > > > at > > > full blast or was I frightened or was my heart not pumping enough > > > blood? > > > Probably all three. There was soft music playing hindi songs in the > > > background. The nurse told me to remove all my clothes and lie down on > > > a > > > narrow table. I have already mentioned the weather conditions, so it > > > did not > > > help that here I was completely nude like a fresh plucked chicken, > > > lying on > > > a table, with half my respective buttocks spilling out of the > > > respective > > > sides of the table. The AC vent was directed towards the exact centre > > > of my > > > body. Now I regretted not taking all those ads on the internet about > > > increasing the length of various body parts seriously. If I had, today > > > I > > > would have been a proud man. But sadly, as of now, I think the OT > > > staff > > > there will remember me whenever they eat dried dates. > > > > > > The Hindi song playing was “Haste Gaate yahan se gujar, Duniya ki tu > > > parwa > > > na kar.†That was very kind of my namesake Kishoreda to remind me how > > > to > > > face this ordeal. But I was very frightened. His next verse also told > > > me, > > > “Maut ani hai ayegi ek din, Jaan jaani hai jaayegi ek din, Aisi baton > > > se kya > > > ghabarana, Yaha kal kya ho kisne jaana?†I almost burst out yodeling > > > along > > > with him . OOdle di OOd le di Ooo oo. > > > > > > The anesthetist approached me and saw me smiling. He was confused. Was > > > this > > > guy so frightened that he was smiling? How could I tell him that I was > > > marveling at Kishoreda’s accurate advice to me, a smaller Kishore > > > Kumar. > > > > > > Then came the good part. Many layers of warm clothes were laid on me. > > > I was > > > shivering, but no longer like the Antarctica. It was more like Shimla > > > now. > > > The Cardiologist told me that I would now feel a little pain in my > > > groin. > > > Most appropriately, the song playing now was “Dil hai kaha aur Dard > > > kahaâ€. I > > > smiled and said, “Yes Boss. Go ahead.†> > > > > > I won’t go into the gruesome details, but what was visible to me and > > > the > > > entire team there was that my Right Coronary artery was nearly > > > completely > > > blocked. The doctor said, “Yes, a stent will be required. Dr. Shah, > > > should > > > we insert an Endeavor drug eluting stent?†> > > > > > I felt ashamed to admit to him that I didn’t know a thing about > > > stents. > > > Being a Gynaecologist, I only knew about stunts. So I asked him, “What > > > is > > > the difference between this one and the other one?†I didn’t know the > > > name > > > of the other one, so I cloaked it in the anonymity of ‘the other one’. > > > He > > > said, “There are many differences, but the main one is in the price.†> > > > > > “Then I think you should ask my wife, because she is the one with the > > > purse > > > as well as the purse strings.†> > > > > > After a brief consultation, my wife decided that her husband was after > > > all > > > worth a bit more than this costly stent. But the effect was magical. > > > In > > > front of my eyes, I could see a withered autumn tree of heart > > > vasculature > > > suddenly burst out in full spring glory of new tributaries. > > > > > > Thus I came out of the ‘lab’ a new and reborn man. It seemed as if I > > > had > > > thrown off my school shirt and worn a new comfy and roomy one. It was > > > as if > > > I had exchanged Adnan Sami’s new shirt for his older ones. No more > > > tightness > > > around the chest. The song playing in the lab when I came out was > > > appropriately “Aaj Main jawaan ho gayi hoon. Gul se gulistan ho gayi > > > hoon.†> > > > > > When I returned home from the hospital after paying the bill, I > > > realized > > > that the old proverb was probably coined by a cardiologist. Which > > > proverb? > > > It’s the one that says: > > > Jaan bachi, Lakho paye. > > > > > > Thus my heart tried to spring me a surprise. So I surprised it with a > > > spring > > > into my heart. Now I walk with a spring in my step and one in my heart > > > too! > > > > > > Kishore Shah 1974 > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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