and Child Abuse

[Guest guest]

Hi there,

it would be great to get feeback:

Recently heard a tape with and a woman who's father abused her

when she was 3, by asking his daughter to sit on her lap and " play "

with him.

talks to the woman as a " little 3 year old " and turns out the

father asked his daughter to " play " with him and woman sees she did it

for love. The adult woman can see that the little 3 year old " chose "

to do it but didn't say no cos didn't want her father to leave/not

love her and so on. So the woman can turn around " my father abused

me " to " I abused me "

Question: the woman is now seeing that she " chose " to play with her

father. but at same time is saying little 3 years old don't

know the work (we do it now, so we don't continue as children) and

woman herself says how a 3 year old can't make those choices. And

this, of course, defines abuse, that the child isn't capable of saying

no. So in what sense is the woman at the end owning her (albeit tiny)

part in it? seems contradictory: " I abused me " while it's clear that

as a 3yr old, she couldn't choose not to.