Depression

[Guest guest]

I´m afraid I´m going into a depression again. All the signs are

there. I don´t want to go out. I comfort-eat. I sleep a lot. The

past few days I have slept until the afternoon. I don´t want to

shower or clean my home. Everything except sitting by the computer

and watching movies feels incredibly exhausting. I have this

constant worry in my body, a feeling of that something is terribly

wrong.

Sometimes I walk around my home and try to see a problem in reality.

I walk from room to room and there is none. There is food in the

refrigerator. There is clothes in my wardrobe. Hans is happy. Ozzy

seems happy. He is running around, playing with his toys and wagging

his tail. Emelie seems happy too. She is in love with a new

boyfriend and always away on some fun activities. Everyone is

healthy, me too. We have everything you need, and more, in a home. I

have loving, caring friends and family around me. Everyone wants me

well.

And yet I have this feeling that something is so wrong, and I don´t

know how to fix it. I don´t even know what it is that´s so

completely wrong. I have this thought " oh no, not another

depression, how long will it last this time, why does it come, what

is the thought that make me feel like this " .

I feel totally wrong for not wanting to do anything, for not taking

the dishes, not shower, sleeping all day. But some thought must have

made me act this way from the beginning. And I don´t have a clue

what it is. Or is it just chemical substance in the brain that is

causing it? I don´t know.

Love,