Re: Some future. There is hope!

[Guest guest]

I was in a really tough spot last fall. I had a flare up with insomnia and was

very uncertain of my future, still am, but things are looking up. We need to try

to be as positive as we can with this illness.

I have only been suffering with CFS since 2003, I was diagnosed in Sept of 2005

and diagnosed with Fibro in Oct of 2008.

I was biking up to last summer/fall, but am now afraid to overdo it, so I am

just going to keep walking until I think I can afford to miss time at work!

I love to ride my bike, that is what has kept me in shape for over 1/2 my life,

unfortunately with this illness, I no longer get a runners high, so hard to do

it for that feeling. But I love the freedom and wind in my face!

I will be 40 in a short while.

Do you have a good Dr? Do you need/have a good resource for this?

I feel lost, forgotten, ignored and cursed, but agian I/we need to look at the

positives. I can still work, I am not bedbound. I am learning to accept my new

limitations. who said life is fair? Some die young, some are born into money,

not my lot in life, so I deal.

During my flare up last fall with the insomnia. I had a sleep study done again.

I had 1 done in 2005. It did not show anything significant. Last falls results

show that I have obstructive sleep apnea and now I use a CPAP and am looking to

supplement with Oxygen since my levels were low with the sleep studies.

Hang in there, hopefully this XMRV discovery will be a game changer!

PS I live alone, my GF of 5+ years moved out at the beginning of this year,

better off without here. Did not understand at all!

I hoped to have children some day, but I have some great nieces and nephews and

good family friends with children. So when I need a different dose of reality, I

visit them!

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> I don't see how people can do this for the long term. I have been dealing with

Coccydynia Fibromyalgia/CFS for almost three years and while there has been some

improvement (I haven't had the paramedics over for a while) it still rules my

life. I am so depressed at this point that I am barely on a functioning level. I

was feeling better last year when I was exercising but when it got cold I hurt

too much to continue and here it is in June and I still cannot start up again. I

go for days and days either hurting too much or too tired to even go outside to

get the mail. I feel lost, forgotten, ignored and cursed. I just cannot see

going on endlessly like this. Already I daily go through the process that " this

is my last day alive " and although my sleep is wrecked I dread even going to

sleep. I'm 46 and I used to do so much including work and now I do nothing. It

might have helped if I had a partner of some sort but I don't even have that or

even the opportunity to meet someone. I just don't know anymore.

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