Re: living vs chronic pain

[Guest guest]

Life demands I take care of kids and help my mom but only love enables

me to do that. Although I love teaching I no longer have enough love

for my career or to sit on a stool and ring up accounts. Today I had

to get out of bed for fear of the worst if I didn't. I would like

someday to meet a girl while I am still a so called 'man'. Al

[Guest guest]

> Hi All....I have a question to ask....Does anyone actually live a

productive life despite your chronic pain vs Living your pain? My therapist

asked me that question today...just an idea.

> Tammy Hutchins

>

Hi, my name is Jana. I'm usually pretty quite here but this one hit a chord

with me.

I guess my answer would be " kind of. " As in, kind of productive. A

friend and I get together at least once a week to work on some creative

project together. Lately we've been hand dying fabric. At this point I have

enough hand dyed cotton to make a quilt, which I haven't started yet. We've

also dyed quite a bit of cotton knit. I've made several outfits with it. I

would call that productive. However, since both of us are disabled we work

pretty slow. We sure don't have the kind of production that could earn a

living.

Other than that it takes me a whole day to clean my apartment and even

then I often haven't been able to finish the job before I run out of energy

and pain tolerence. If I have errands to run it's usually all I can to do

get to the bus, take care of business and get home. Walking is miserable,

and the buses are so jerky and bouncy that they make the pain much much

worse. I just don't get a lot done in a day. But if I pace myself as much as

possible I'd have to say that at the end of most weeks I do have something

to show for it. Nothing like I used to do, but better than nothing.

[Guest guest]

At 05:04 PM 6/30/03 -0400, you wrote:

>...Does anyone actually live a productive life despite your chronic pain

>vs Living your pain?

I guess it depends on the definition of productive.

I used to be a newspaper editor and before that was a reporter and

photographer. As an editor, my shifts varied and I was on call, especially

weekends. I was editor-in-chief of the Sunday edition so my Saturday shift

would start between 1 and 2 PM and end when the presses started rolling

Sunday morning, between 1:30 and 2:30 AM.

I felt that I was leading a very productive life. I was also crushed when

that part of my life ended.

When I went on SSDI I went back to school, very part time, and took

horticulture classes. I am also a Master Gardener with Penn State

ative Extension, working with home gardeners, elementary school

classes and patients at the VA medical center where we have a wheelchair

garden. I spend 3 hours each Tuesday at the VA and am exhausted when I get

home, and spend another 2-3 hours a week at other projects. I volunteer 2

hours a week at a retirement community teaching computer skills to

residents. And I also got involved again in my woodworking, on small

projects. I had not had time for that in many years die to the hours I put

in at the paper and the way I felt when I got home.

I feel that I am leading a very productive life once again. It's very

different from the things I used to do but it is very rewarding. I am still

in pain, although my doctors and I have finally gotten it reasonable well

controlled. When I was working full time we never had it under control. I

am very limited, I tire very easily, but I am satisfied. I have also

reached a point where I have learned to accept my physical problems and

limitations and I live with them as well as I can.

Moderator, Yahoo! Chronic Pain

[Guest guest]

Moderator's note: Content of previous messages edited.

I am a full time student in the fall and am currently working full time for the

summer. When the fall begins again I will continue my studied and move to part

time for the work

-Tath

----- Original Message -----

From: Tammy Hutchins

Hi All....I have a question to ask....Does anyone actually live a productive

life despite your chronic pain vs Living your pain? My therapist asked me that

question today...just an idea.

Tammy Hutchins

[Guest guest]

What a tough question. I have found I have had to remake my life. And am not

to thrilled with it. 'Before' I was in a really good space, business was

growing like a weed and my reputation was spreading across the US and some

of Europe. Now, I am a hermit. I can not do what I did so I am giving a go

at candles- like Yankee, since I like the heavier scents and refuse to pay

$20 for a candle. It's hard. I have developed psoriasis on top of all and it

seems one thing after another. I just pray this candle thing works oor I am

in big trouble. How are things for you?

Di

living vs chronic pain

Hi All....I have a question to ask....Does anyone actually live a productive

life despite your chronic pain vs Living your pain? My therapist asked me

that question today...just an idea.

Tammy Hutchins

[Guest guest]

As you can see from the other replies, it is totally possible to lead

a productive life with chronic pain. I have FMS, TMJ, CFS, anxiety

and depression, at least those are the biggies. I also am a single

parent who works 4 days a week, 8 hours a day at the local Walmart

fitting room. I hurt, I ache, and there are days that I want to

scream, and days that the depression is so strong that I can barely

get up and take a shower, let alone go to work, but I manage.

Luckily, I have a good doctor who says, I understand that your body

becomes used to the opiates, but I want you to lead a normal life,

here is a script for more painkillers. It sure makes it easier to

lead a life when I am more pain-free.

We all do what we can, and what we have to. There are others here

who can't work because of their pain, and their injuries or diseases

that cause the pain, but we all measure having a productive life in a

different way. For someone else, having a productive day may mean

getting up out of bed and taking a shower (we have all had those

days). What you need to figure out is what having a productive life

means for you.

[Guest guest]

Tammy,

In 1990 I had a herniated disc at L4-L5. Had surgery in 1991 to fix

this. Pain started gradually coming back 3 years later until full

blown all day & night pain drove me back to Dr in 1999-2000. Found

through MRI that previous surgery site disc had collapsed an also had

stenosis of the three vertebra L3-L4-L5 which they supposedly fixed

with a cage between L4-L5, a laminectomy on L3-L4-L5 with a full

brace and rod set from L3 to L5 to stabalize. Overheard one Dr saying

that there was so much scar tissue from first surgery that they

couldn't even get to some of the nerves. 8 months after surgery pain

started getting worse and worse. No Drs would help. All said it was

in my head or that another surgery was needed with no guarantee of

sucess or relief. Finally one Dr started giving me Darvocet that took

some of the edge off of the pain and I could almost feel human again.

That was until about mid 2002 when pain got worse, Dr refused to up

dosage of meds, I started a slow decline into severe depression,

couldn't eat, lost a lot of sleep due to pain, and came close to

complete nervous breakdown. At the end of May I went to a different

Dr. who saw a pattern of chronic pain, referred me to a Pain

Specialist who did 2 nerve blocks that didn't work, took some x-rays

and a CAT scan and said I would probably need high powered pain meds

and possibly an implanted morphine pump. He then Referred me to a Dr

who specializes in Pain meds and here I am.I've been running a

homebased candle and soap business for almost 4 years now because no

employer wanted to hire someone in my condition. However, I am

grateful to have a loving,caring,and understanding wife who is an

R.N. and we now rely mostly on her salary to get by. I can no longer

do flea markets or candle parties or craft fairs which were my main

money makers. I now have a 50 sq. ft. space in a consignment shop and

a website that I market my products thru. It's not much compared to

what it used to be but, hey I feel like a productive human being. You

can still do things you just need to find your " thing " to do.

Candlemaking started as therapy after a surgery and is now my

business so you never know!

(((HUGS)))

Rickie AKA Cajun

> Hi All....I have a question to ask....Does anyone actually live a

productive life despite your chronic pain vs Living your pain? My

therapist asked me that question today...just an idea.

> Tammy Hutchins

>

>

[Guest guest]

Tammy Hutchins wrote:

> Hi All....I have a question to ask....Does anyone actually live a productive

life despite your chronic pain vs Living your pain? My therapist asked me that

question today...just an idea.

> Tammy Hutchins

I'm still working full time. Fortunately, I am the executive director of a

disability organization, so my board and staff " have " to be understanding when I

am in my bed instead of in my

office:-) I used to be an executive director for a national agency, but when I

realized I couldn't keep up with my exhausting work load and all the travelling

anymore, I changed jobs.

These days, I have to keep a very detailed, large wall calendar so that I don't

forget important stuff. I also write down all my sent and received phone calls

(names, numbers, reason for

call etc). That way, when my mind is 'out to lunch' I have something concrete

to jog my memory. I also have Obus Forms on my high backed computer chairs to

make sitting less painful.

I don't make much money at my current job, as it is a little not for profit

agency, but it is all I can handle these days. I'm also on the Governor's

Planning Council for People with

Disabilities and a Partner in Policy Making. There is no pay involved in the

latter two and I miss about half of the meetings, as they both involve

travelling. (Driving for an hour or more

really does a number on me). Both organizations keep great minutes and email me

all the developments, so that I can maintain my input, even when I am not

physically present.

On really bad days, when I need to be at (or lead) meetings, speaking

engagements, or pleading for grant money etc. -- I take my pain meds and

plaster myself with Aspercreme instead of

smelly stuff and put a Thermacare wrap on my neck and lower back. Then I get my

cane and just go for it! Sometimes it takes all the energy and optimism that I

can muster (and then some) to

do even the simplest stuff, but I like a challenge. <g>

If on top of the usual chronic pain, I have a full blown, toilet hugging,

migraine day - then all bets are off. I have to cancel everything (except

pleading for grant money) and take to my

bed and bathroom. More than once, when making a funding pitch, I have taken

anti-nauseates, extra pain meds, and Migranol and hung on to the podium for dear

life. (Sometimes it's all I can

do to keep from throwing up on the podium. :-)

Before the presentations (pitches) start, I make sure that the panel knows I

have a severe migraine. Most people have had at least one really bad headache

in their life, so they tend to be

accommodating and switch the schedule so that I am one of the first presenters.

As soon as I have finished my presentation and answered their questions, I don't

politely stick around. I

leave and head home to bed. I have never lost a grant because of it. (thank

goodness - or I'd have to quit my job)

Unfortunately for me, any work that I can't handle getting done during office

hours, still has to get done - so I often end up doing office work at midnight

(for some reason I often feel

better then) or on the weekends. It's not unusual for me to be answering office

letters and paying office bills on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

I've taken up a couple of hobbies that I really enjoy. Graphic design and music

tweaking. I find that when I can immerse myself in one of them, it takes my

mind off of a lot of things. I

take my pain meds, rub smelly heat liniment on my hands, feet and elbows, then I

use oat bag hot packs and put one at my lower back, one around my neck and one

around each knee. Then I sit

at my computer and fiddle around. I look and smell terrible, but what the heck

:-) On days when I feel like splurging, I use one of those expensive (but

effective) Thermacare heat wraps

for my neck.

Life in the fast lane. LOL

Lyndi

[Guest guest]

Hi Diane..I'm having a real hard time remaking my life. I'm a hermit at

times. We tend to isolate ourselfs when we are in chronic pain. I'm sure

youar candle business will go fine. Now for myself I'm not doing so well.

I'm very depressed and angry

with myself. I am having a hard time concentrating on things. I cut a

little slice on my vein on my wrist and showed it to my therapist at mental

health here. She didn't do anything to me but she said something to me about

it.

Tammy

living vs chronic pain

>

> Hi All....I have a question to ask....Does anyone actually live a

productive

> life despite your chronic pain vs Living your pain? My therapist asked me

> that question today...just an idea.

> Tammy Hutchins

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Jana....Its very hard to be productive...at least it is me. I hope your

dying fabric goes well with you. Is it like tie die? It does take me awhile

to clean my apartment to. I would start to do something til the pain was to

embarable I've had to stop til the next day. Sometimes I don't even take my

Vicodin for the pain. I do keep my self occupied most of the time. I'm

having a really hard time with my consentrating.

Tammy

Re: living vs chronic pain

>

>

> > Hi All....I have a question to ask....Does anyone actually live a

> productive life despite your chronic pain vs Living your pain? My

therapist

> asked me that question today...just an idea.

> > Tammy Hutchins

> >

>

> Hi, my name is Jana. I'm usually pretty quite here but this one hit a

chord

> with me.

> I guess my answer would be " kind of. " As in, kind of productive. A

> friend and I get together at least once a week to work on some creative

> project together. Lately we've been hand dying fabric. At this point I

have

> enough hand dyed cotton to make a quilt, which I haven't started yet.

We've

> also dyed quite a bit of cotton knit. I've made several outfits with it. I

> would call that productive. However, since both of us are disabled we work

> pretty slow. We sure don't have the kind of production that could earn a

> living.

> Other than that it takes me a whole day to clean my apartment and even

> then I often haven't been able to finish the job before I run out of

energy

> and pain tolerence. If I have errands to run it's usually all I can to do

> get to the bus, take care of business and get home. Walking is miserable,

> and the buses are so jerky and bouncy that they make the pain much much

> worse. I just don't get a lot done in a day. But if I pace myself as much

as

> possible I'd have to say that at the end of most weeks I do have something

> to show for it. Nothing like I used to do, but better than nothing.

>

>

>

>

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>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi .....I don't post often also. My therapist at the mental health

center asked me that question thats in the subject line to see what kind of

responses back and sure enough you and others replied back. I appreciate you

all responded to the Living vs Chronic Pain. Wow your doing good with being

a publishing magazine and having your own list. I wish I could be busy like

that. I don't have RSD or FM like most of the members on this list have.

Mine is just a Failed Back Syndrom and some arthritis there. Thats very good

about you growing your orchard trees and the others mentioned. See with me I

don't have much talents.

Tammy

living vs chronic pain

>

> This strikes a deep chord within myself and though I don't post often, I

> am today. , you might find what I am about to say interesting. I am

> published (now) via an Australian Magazine and I do have my own list

> group. I'm not on a membership drive but all my files are open to the

> public should anyone are to see what all I have posted in this group. My

> group's addy is in my signature.

>

> I am RSD stage 4 with an Auto-Immune problem, have " acrquired "

> Dysautonomia and I am an amputee DUE TO RSD (this is in my WC file

> also). Mobility and functioning are difficult any given day of the week

> for me. It takes me no less than 4 hours just to be able to sit up in

> bed and that's on a good day! I may be an amputee but I am wheelchair

> bound because my right leg has problems of it's own. I haven't walked in

> two years now. I can't lift more than 3 pounds because I have the shakes

> so badly and my muscles won't sustain that weight very long. I'm talking

> about a small bag of sugar weight!

>

> I own what one might call a farm or a ranch, I tend to call it more of a

> " Self Sufficient and Self Sustainable " operation than anything else. I

> raise a variety of animals for sales, eggs and meat. I also have

> directly behind the house 29 raised beds 4x8x16 with two 3 tiered

> Strawberry Pyramids I made myself - saved the $120 they wanted! There is

> also a small Orchard where I have 50 Dwarf fruit trees, 22 fruit vines,

> along with the odd plants ie: Luffas, Dwarf Cherry bushes and Tomato

> husk plants to name a few. I also have an additional 22 separate 4x4

> raised beds.

>

> I grow everything organically, although I am not certified. The

> paperwork alone would prevent me from doing anything! I grow heirlooms,

> no GMO's or hybrids. I do alot of Companion Planting and use no

> chemicals inside or outside my home.

>

> Living with RSD is a nightmare of gigantic proportions but no one should

> feel worthless and useless because of mobility problems and less than

> functioning days. Go ahead, plant a seed today! It will nourish not only

> your body but your sight, your smell and your soul.

>

>

> http://groups.msn.com/AbleFarmandRanch

>

>

>

>

> Know someone who could profit from our list? Send our direct sign-up URL:

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[Guest guest]

Hi ...Wow your very productive..that is good even though you have to put

with your pain. That must have fun with your newspaper editing. I'm not

woking or even doing much. I go to my physical therapy and other doctors

appointment and when I walk to them I am in more pain then when I left my

apartment. I haven't taken a pain killer in over a week, but I will start

taking them again. I've always wanted to learn to do professional gardening.

I know its very interesting. Keep up the good work.

Tammy

Re: living vs chronic pain

> At 05:04 PM 6/30/03 -0400, you wrote:

> >...Does anyone actually live a productive life despite your chronic pain

> >vs Living your pain?

>

>

> I guess it depends on the definition of productive.

>

> I used to be a newspaper editor and before that was a reporter and

> photographer. As an editor, my shifts varied and I was on call, especially

> weekends. I was editor-in-chief of the Sunday edition so my Saturday shift

> would start between 1 and 2 PM and end when the presses started rolling

> Sunday morning, between 1:30 and 2:30 AM.

>

> I felt that I was leading a very productive life. I was also crushed when

> that part of my life ended.

>

> When I went on SSDI I went back to school, very part time, and took

> horticulture classes. I am also a Master Gardener with Penn State

> ative Extension, working with home gardeners, elementary school

> classes and patients at the VA medical center where we have a wheelchair

> garden. I spend 3 hours each Tuesday at the VA and am exhausted when I get

> home, and spend another 2-3 hours a week at other projects. I volunteer 2

> hours a week at a retirement community teaching computer skills to

> residents. And I also got involved again in my woodworking, on small

> projects. I had not had time for that in many years die to the hours I put

> in at the paper and the way I felt when I got home.

>

> I feel that I am leading a very productive life once again. It's very

> different from the things I used to do but it is very rewarding. I am

still

> in pain, although my doctors and I have finally gotten it reasonable well

> controlled. When I was working full time we never had it under control. I

> am very limited, I tire very easily, but I am satisfied. I have also

> reached a point where I have learned to accept my physical problems and

> limitations and I live with them as well as I can.

>

>

> Moderator, Yahoo! Chronic Pain

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi...Yep I saw in others replies that I Can lead a produtive life. I was

actually was stunned because with the people on this group keep themselves

busy to have a productive life. I also have anxiety and severe depression.

Wal-mart is a great store. We have one here also. See with my limitations I

can't sit long or stand long but I know I will have that productive life.

You have a good doctor.

Tammy

Re: living vs chronic pain

> As you can see from the other replies, it is totally possible to lead

> a productive life with chronic pain. I have FMS, TMJ, CFS, anxiety

> and depression, at least those are the biggies. I also am a single

> parent who works 4 days a week, 8 hours a day at the local Walmart

> fitting room. I hurt, I ache, and there are days that I want to

> scream, and days that the depression is so strong that I can barely

> get up and take a shower, let alone go to work, but I manage.

> Luckily, I have a good doctor who says, I understand that your body

> becomes used to the opiates, but I want you to lead a normal life,

> here is a script for more painkillers. It sure makes it easier to

> lead a life when I am more pain-free.

> We all do what we can, and what we have to. There are others here

> who can't work because of their pain, and their injuries or diseases

> that cause the pain, but we all measure having a productive life in a

> different way. For someone else, having a productive day may mean

> getting up out of bed and taking a shower (we have all had those

> days). What you need to figure out is what having a productive life

> means for you.

>

>

>

> Know someone who could profit from our list? Send our direct sign-up URL:

> http://www.yahoogroups.com/subscribe.cgi/chronic_pain or write us at:

> chronic_pain-listowner

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email

> chronic_pain-unsubscribe - Unsubscribe from the list

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>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Lyndi....Wow thats great that your a executive directory for disability

organization. Thats pretty good about that you are a detailed person. I

could not do the work you do. I get confused very easily and I have a bad

concentration problem. I get those kinds of headaches also. I like the way

you said it..toilet hugging headach. It just struck me funny. Well when your

not well you should be able to stay home and rest.

Tammy

Re: living vs chronic pain

> Tammy Hutchins wrote:

>

> > Hi All....I have a question to ask....Does anyone actually live a

productive life despite your chronic pain vs Living your pain? My therapist

asked me that question today...just an idea.

> > Tammy Hutchins

>

> I'm still working full time. Fortunately, I am the executive director of

a disability organization, so my board and staff " have " to be understanding

when I am in my bed instead of in my

> office:-) I used to be an executive director for a national agency, but

when I realized I couldn't keep up with my exhausting work load and all the

travelling anymore, I changed jobs.

>

> These days, I have to keep a very detailed, large wall calendar so that I

don't forget important stuff. I also write down all my sent and received

phone calls (names, numbers, reason for

> call etc). That way, when my mind is 'out to lunch' I have something

concrete to jog my memory. I also have Obus Forms on my high backed computer

chairs to make sitting less painful.

>

> I don't make much money at my current job, as it is a little not for

profit agency, but it is all I can handle these days. I'm also on the

Governor's Planning Council for People with

> Disabilities and a Partner in Policy Making. There is no pay involved in

the latter two and I miss about half of the meetings, as they both involve

travelling. (Driving for an hour or more

> really does a number on me). Both organizations keep great minutes and

email me all the developments, so that I can maintain my input, even when I

am not physically present.

>

> On really bad days, when I need to be at (or lead) meetings, speaking

engagements, or pleading for grant money etc. -- I take my pain meds and

plaster myself with Aspercreme instead of

> smelly stuff and put a Thermacare wrap on my neck and lower back. Then I

get my cane and just go for it! Sometimes it takes all the energy and

optimism that I can muster (and then some) to

> do even the simplest stuff, but I like a challenge. <g>

>

> If on top of the usual chronic pain, I have a full blown, toilet hugging,

migraine day - then all bets are off. I have to cancel everything (except

pleading for grant money) and take to my

> bed and bathroom. More than once, when making a funding pitch, I have

taken anti-nauseates, extra pain meds, and Migranol and hung on to the

podium for dear life. (Sometimes it's all I can

> do to keep from throwing up on the podium. :-)

>

> Before the presentations (pitches) start, I make sure that the panel knows

I have a severe migraine. Most people have had at least one really bad

headache in their life, so they tend to be

> accommodating and switch the schedule so that I am one of the first

presenters. As soon as I have finished my presentation and answered their

questions, I don't politely stick around. I

> leave and head home to bed. I have never lost a grant because of it.

(thank goodness - or I'd have to quit my job)

>

> Unfortunately for me, any work that I can't handle getting done during

office hours, still has to get done - so I often end up doing office work at

midnight (for some reason I often feel

> better then) or on the weekends. It's not unusual for me to be answering

office letters and paying office bills on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

>

> I've taken up a couple of hobbies that I really enjoy. Graphic design and

music tweaking. I find that when I can immerse myself in one of them, it

takes my mind off of a lot of things. I

> take my pain meds, rub smelly heat liniment on my hands, feet and elbows,

then I use oat bag hot packs and put one at my lower back, one around my

neck and one around each knee. Then I sit

> at my computer and fiddle around. I look and smell terrible, but what the

heck :-) On days when I feel like splurging, I use one of those expensive

(but effective) Thermacare heat wraps

> for my neck.

>

> Life in the fast lane. LOL

>

> Lyndi

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Know someone who could profit from our list? Send our direct sign-up URL:

> http://www.yahoogroups.com/subscribe.cgi/chronic_pain or write us at:

> chronic_pain-listowner

> Manage your subscription with several special email addresses:

> chronic_pain-owner - Sends email to the list owners

> chronic_pain-subscribe - Subscribe to the list through

email

> chronic_pain-unsubscribe - Unsubscribe from the list

> chronic_pain-normal - Switch your subscription to normal

> chronic_pain-digest@... - Switch your subscription to digest

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Tammy Hutchins wrote:

> Hi Lyndi....Wow thats great that your a executive directory for disability

> organization. Thats pretty good about that you are a detailed person. I

> could not do the work you do. I get confused very easily and I have a bad

> concentration problem. I get those kinds of headaches also. I like the way

> you said it..toilet hugging headach. It just struck me funny. Well when your

> not well you should be able to stay home and rest.

If I stayed home to rest every time I felt unwell, I would never get out. LOL

--

MizDancesWithPavement (yet again)

Skinned Knees Lyndi

[Guest guest]

Lyndi,

I did the Partners in Policymaking program too, in Indiana, thru

COVOH and the Governors Council on Disabilites.

What state are you in? And it is way cool that you are the director

of a program.

[Guest guest]

joshiebearsmommy wrote:

> I did the Partners in Policymaking program too, in Indiana, thru

> COVOH and the Governors Council on Disabilites.

> What state are you in? And it is way cool that you are the director

> of a program.

Hey wait a cotton pickin' minute. Your name is Clara and you have a son named

Josh.

Is your Mum's name Judith?

--

Lyndi

[Guest guest]

susan herring wrote:

> Lyndi, you are truly an inspiration also. To keep going in the face of such

pain triggers my FMS fatigue and I can't get the energy back sometimes for

weeks.

Rarely do I have much energy or natural enthusiasm anymore. It is something I

find I actually have to work to achieve. I can't really explain it. I used to

be an eternal optimist, full of energy and raring to go. I fell into bed at

night, went instantly to sleep, woke up refreshed and ready to face the day.

Those wonderful days are only a memory now. But, I do continue to push myself.

My sister and I share many of the same illnesses. Medically, I am in worse

shape than she is, but she is basically bedridden and I am still doing my

darnedest to terrorize the countryside. Sometimes I think I am too stubborn, but

then when I visit her, I change my mind.

Some days the chronic fatigue and the pain put me between a rock and a hard

place. My body is telling me to go to bed and stay there, but my head tells me

to spend at least half the day getting out and about a being involved in the

community. I've learned a few tricks for looking like I am more awake and

healthier than I am. There's a product on the market called Sudden Change.

Basically all it does it suck up the puffy bags from under my eyes for a few

hours. I put on nice clothes, flat dress shoes with cushy insoles, put on a bit

of water based make up and then apply the Sudden Change and Bam! I go from

looking like something the cat dragged in to looking like a healthy, wide awake

person. The pick me up is totally psychological, but

it helps me keep going.

While I was growing up my Mum had MS and RA. She was in rough shape most of the

time, but she kept going until the end. She was very creative in finding ways

around her pain and disabilities and continued her work with the mentally

challenged and also did much of the cooking and housework. (she rigged a clamp

to hook the vacuum to her wheelchair) <g>

One morning she woke up and her arms and legs no longer worked at all. She

ended up having to go into a nursing home and even with being basically

paralysed from the neck down, she still kept going in her own way. She kept up

with current events, got one of those book stands so that she could turn the

pages with a pencil in her mouth etc. She knew she could lay like that for

years, so she told the doctors that if she caught a virus, she did not want any

medical treatment. Pneumonia got her a few months later and she died. Her

determination to live well and die well was a true inspiration to me.

> I do hate beng such a wimp and I used to enjoy pushing myself to the point of

exhaustion. I don't know if that was one of my disease triggers, but I do truly

despise having to be such a wimp or end up in bed or crawling.

Perhaps you should stop thinking of yourself as a wimp. That's a downer all by

itself. Think of yourself as a beautiful, tired lady instead :-)

My almost new husband and I went to a local museum recently. I was feeling

pretty good when we started out. About have way through our little tour, he had

to help me to a bench. Then he had to go and fetch the car 'round to the front

door and half cart me out to it. By the time we got home, I was able to get

myself out of the car, into the house and onto the couch. I started to feel

badly for 'wrecking our outing' but then realized that half an outing was better

than no outing at all. Tonight we are going to go and see Terminator 3. I still

feel a little silly taking my cushions with me into a theatre, but I'm not

missing Arnie for anything:-)

> I have succumbed tot the wheel chair only once at the insistance of my son who

was with me for some tests. The drive was 3 hours there and back and lots of

running around to do while i was there. With the exception of times when I had

to have someone due to anesthetic procedures, there was never a time that I had

anyone with me in the doc's office or for tests either.

These days, I get someone to push me in a chair when I am feeling wobbly or when

my feet hurt too much to step on them. But, most days, I get around okay. Like

you - long trips wear me right out. I never used to take anyone with me to

medical appointments either. Nowadays, when I am dealing with a new doc, I

always take someone along. When I am seeing my regular doc, I go by myself, but

I always write everything down that I want to discuss. I find it too easy to

forget, especially since doctors always seem to be in such a rush.

For a while, I used to be in a wheelchair. Then I met a lovely, elderly,

ish, orthopaedic surgeon. I was one of his last patients before he retired.

The younger surgeons had all told me that there was nothing they could do for

me. The old guy figured he had about a 40% chance of success as he had been

" operating on people long before those whippersnappers were born " :-) I went

for it. After many hours in the operating room and a day in observation, I was

transferred to a private room. Then the doc and three nurses stood me up and

walked me across the room! Now I never take walking for granted. Bad days are

a good reminder for me of the days when it was even worse.

> Would you please tell me how warm the Thermacare wraps are? I am quite warm by

nature and I have hesitated to use them for that reason. While they might be

great while shoveling snow, I hesitate when I think of wearing one in the

suimmer for yard work.

They are not really hot. They just maintain a nice even warmth for 8 to 10

hours. I wouldn't wear one when gardening in the heat, but would come in when I

was done, have a nice shower and then apply one. They work really well. (I

just wish they were cheaper)

> For anyone who might be interested, I do use one of those neoprene belts as a

help in yard work and house work the days I vacuum or mop. I should try to

remember to use it carrying in groceries, but after shopping I usually just have

my mind on getting the cold stuff into the house and letting the rest stay for

another day. That doesn't work as well in MI as it did inGA--stuff freezes. I

tried to get all of the stuff that would freeze but now and then I'd forget

something and have a nice slurpee surprise when I got back to the car. : )

LOL.

> The group has been made much more interesting to me by the addition of your

stories of perseverance. Everyone is coming alive so much more with these

stories. I am copying them and keeping them for times when I need inspiration. I

have always kept cartoons and jokes for down times and I also kept the cards and

letters ppl sent while I was sick after cancer surgery. It helps me lots on the

down days.

I was divorced when I had my last cancer surgery. My sons were in their late

teens. They took a notion to make me a huge wall poster for my hospital room.

Even though my youngest son is a very good artist, they decided to use some

humour and did the entire poster little kid style. It looked like it had been

painted by a pair of six year olds. It had rainbows and trees and stick people

and a big " Get Well Mummy " on it. However, in tiny, almost unnoticeable adult

printing in one corner it said " While you are in the hospital, find a rich

doctor and marry him. "

I still have the poster. LOL

--

Lyndi

[Guest guest]

Hi Rickie..You sure went through the ringer. Here is my back problem....1988

L4-L5 laminectomy, 10/89 L5-S1 laminectomy, 1990(disk ruptured second time)

L4-L5, 1991 lumbar fusion L5-S1...so as of now I'm in severe chronic pain.

Nerve damage on left side, lots of scar tissue on both sides. I went to the

pain center and had Navicath/caudel Epidural. I feel some pain now since the

anesthetic wore off. Now I hurt........I take vicodin for the pain and it

actually lowers pain a great deal. Some people can't take vicodin---does'nt

work for them. I was thinking about getting into a candle business, but of

course when I try to start something I fail. I just feel like a big FAT

failure. My self esteem hit rock bottom. I've been in the New Hampshire

State Hospital 3 times cause of pain and what not. I hope your doing better

today.

Tammy

Re: living vs chronic pain

> Tammy,

>

> In 1990 I had a herniated disc at L4-L5. Had surgery in 1991 to fix

> this. Pain started gradually coming back 3 years later until full

> blown all day & night pain drove me back to Dr in 1999-2000. Found

> through MRI that previous surgery site disc had collapsed an also had

> stenosis of the three vertebra L3-L4-L5 which they supposedly fixed

> with a cage between L4-L5, a laminectomy on L3-L4-L5 with a full

> brace and rod set from L3 to L5 to stabalize. Overheard one Dr saying

> that there was so much scar tissue from first surgery that they

> couldn't even get to some of the nerves. 8 months after surgery pain

> started getting worse and worse. No Drs would help. All said it was

> in my head or that another surgery was needed with no guarantee of

> sucess or relief. Finally one Dr started giving me Darvocet that took

> some of the edge off of the pain and I could almost feel human again.

> That was until about mid 2002 when pain got worse, Dr refused to up

> dosage of meds, I started a slow decline into severe depression,

> couldn't eat, lost a lot of sleep due to pain, and came close to

> complete nervous breakdown. At the end of May I went to a different

> Dr. who saw a pattern of chronic pain, referred me to a Pain

> Specialist who did 2 nerve blocks that didn't work, took some x-rays

> and a CAT scan and said I would probably need high powered pain meds

> and possibly an implanted morphine pump. He then Referred me to a Dr

> who specializes in Pain meds and here I am.I've been running a

> homebased candle and soap business for almost 4 years now because no

> employer wanted to hire someone in my condition. However, I am

> grateful to have a loving,caring,and understanding wife who is an

> R.N. and we now rely mostly on her salary to get by. I can no longer

> do flea markets or candle parties or craft fairs which were my main

> money makers. I now have a 50 sq. ft. space in a consignment shop and

> a website that I market my products thru. It's not much compared to

> what it used to be but, hey I feel like a productive human being. You

> can still do things you just need to find your " thing " to do.

> Candlemaking started as therapy after a surgery and is now my

> business so you never know!

>

> (((HUGS)))

> Rickie AKA Cajun

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, mom's name is Judith, and she just got married and you are

going to her reception. Didn't realize that this was you.

[Guest guest]

Tammy Hutchins wrote:

> <snipped>....... I was thinking about getting into a candle business,

> but of

> course when I try to start something I fail.

Tammy, the mere fact that you 'are' starting something means that you

are doing something and giving it a go. %100 round of applause to you

for that! (((((((((((clap,clap,clap,calp,clap,clap,clap.)))))))))))))))

Next goal you start shorten the goal posts. You might be trying to hit

to high and there fore set tasks that are unattainable.

Section it in steps, as far as i'm concerned passing step one is never

followed by failure. :-) Because you've already done something you

wouldn't have other wise done.

> ........I just feel like a big FAT failure.

the fact that you say 'every time' means to me that you are continually

giving something a go. Good on you Tammy!

that's not failing. that's great. I admire you for that. Sit back and

smile and say to yourself , " Gee look what I had a go at! "

Next goal? To think of the next one. And make it so simple. Like go to

the shops and back for milk once a week.

Make all your housework set as goals. This will give you a good sense of

worth to start with. When at the end of the day, you can tick off your

list.

1. washed the morning dishes.

2. washed the tea dishes.

3. made a bed. etc...

then reward yourself. Have that grocery item you don't need and usually

can't afford and enjoy it., or this bubble bath is what I can look

forward to.

When you go to bed with your list ticked off, smile.

Sharon.

[Guest guest]

Hi Tath....now that is being productive. I'm not productive at all because

of the pain in my lower back. Whats your study.

Tammy

Re: living vs chronic pain

> Moderator's note: Content of previous messages edited.

>

> I am a full time student in the fall and am currently working full time

for the summer. When the fall begins again I will continue my studied and

move to part time for the work

>

> -Tath

[Guest guest]

Hi ..My pain started back in the winter of 1988 and it gets worse.. In

an earlier post this evening I mentioned a procedure that I had today at the

pain center called Navicath/Caudel Epidural. Now I'm feeling the pain from

that but that will somewhat dissappear in time. I haven't been active for a

long time. I'm not working but when I have appointments that I can walk to

makes me feel good that I accomplished something by just walking to my

appointments. When I get my SSDI check my husband takes me around to places

and I do lots of waking then also like wal-mart, the mall of NH and other

places. See when I do something positive the feeling goes away quickly. I'm

just in a deep depression pit and hard to get out. Sometimes my pain gets to

me and sometimes I don't let it control me so I guess I could say that I can

live with chronic pain.

Tammy

Re: living vs chronic pain

> Moderator's note: Content of previous message edited.

>

> Hi Tammy

>

> Being productive and in pain can still be living. I have been in constant

pain for 7 yrs now and would give almost anything for the pain to stop. In

the last yr I became a grandmother and even tho the pain is hard to hide

from the adults my baby girl really doesn't care and if I have to crawl to

be with her that's fine too. So yes you can be productive with pain I firmly

believe that I have been able to teach and enjoy the baby just as much as

everyone else. At least she doesn't tell me that I can't do that.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

joshiebearsmommy wrote:

> Yes, mom's name is Judith, and she just got married and you are

> going to her reception. Didn't realize that this was you.

Should we sing a chorus of " It's A Small World After All? " :-)

I got introduced to you as Lyn, and you post as Josh's Mum. I didn't notice

your

email address either. No wonder we didn't recognize each other on line. LOL

[Guest guest]

It is a really small world. There is someone else from B'ton who

used to post here. I had noticed the insight.com on your email addy,

but not really paid any attention to it. How are you doing?