Welcome Kai, nne, Christy, Donna, and Bonnie!!!

October 1, 2003

Hello everyone. So many new " faces! " I hope I didn't leave anyone out...It is so

sad to me that so many of us suffer, and often needlessly. I wish there weren't

so many people that need this group, but I am happy that you are here with us

now. We all share common issues, and that makes this such a wonderful and

supportive group.

Christy, your posts have really touched me and made me think. I spent over 15

years believing (convincing myself of) the mental health diagnoses that various

doctors gave me. I questioned my self worth, my sanity, and swallowed a whole

lot of meds that I didn't need. Now, instead of living to my full potential, I

am suffering from a long list of chronic illnesses that could probably have been

avoided if I had been treated appropriately at the onset. The whole time this

was going on, I felt truly in my heart that what I was feeling was physical in

origin, but let the " experts " overrule me. What I am getting at is this: You

know yourself better than anyone on the planet. Go see what the professionals

say, do some research, spend some time being brutally honest with yourself. If,

after all that, you agree with their opinion down deep inside, go get the mental

health treatment you need. But please don't put yourself through years of

torture and self-recrimination like I did. It can tear away at your spirit, and

put you at risk for more and bigger problems.

Here's a small example from my experience book... About 15 years ago, I began

experiencing a new and severe pain near my spine. The doctors had already

convinced me that I had conversion disorder, and bipolar disorder. I guiltily

took a couple of Motrin, and went to work-janitorial. The pain continued two

more days, and I just kept trying to ignore it, and attribute it to my " mental

disorders " combined with a week of stripping and waxing floors. I drove home

from work on the third day, and collapsed on the stairway up to my apartment. I

woke up in the hospital, and found out that the EMT's had to recessitate me

before they took me to the hospital. The doctors told me my appendix was

gangrenous and had ruptured at least 24 to 36 hours before I was found,

technically dead.....They couldn't believe that I had been functioning, let

alone doing physical labor. Please take care of yourself...

Cyndiesue in Seattle

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